I Want To Start a Blog But… 14 Limiting Beliefs of New Bloggers + How to Overcome Them

Digital Dilemma, Self-Help

If you’re reading this blog post today, I take it that you would also like to be a blogger yourself. But you can’t bring yourself to do it for whatever reason. Trust me, I’m not a stranger to the number of excuses you create for yourself when you’re afraid to take the leap and follow your dream, especially when part of your dream involves blogging. I wanted to be a blogger every single day for over FIVE YEARS before I finally launched this website. And in those five years, I think I came up with every excuse in the world as to why I couldn’t do it.

While blogging may look like tons of fun as a reader, it can be SUPER intimidating at first to start your own blog. Part of the reason is that there’s so much that you have to learn if you want to be a “successful” blogger. But the main reason why I think it’s so intimidating to take it up is that you have to be vulnerable in a very public way. You’re not just sharing a photo of yourself online with a quick caption. You have to write from the heart and share details of yourself that maybe no one even knows about you (at least if you want to be a personal blogger). 

Maybe you’re in that same place right now, that place I was in for five years coming up with every excuse I could think of to prevent me from embarrassing myself in front of everyone I knew by creating a site and sharing the real me. So this blog is for you: the person out there who desperately wants to be a blogger or even a YouTuber and is scared out of their mind to take the leap and just do it. These are the top 14 limiting beliefs of first-time bloggers, followed by my advice at the end on how to overcome them. Let’s get into it!

1. I’m too late

If you’re like me, one of the top excuses for holding yourself back could be, “But I’m too late!” I get it, it’s almost 2020 and it seems like everyone and their mother has a blog at this point. So how could we possibly be successful when we’re just starting, right? Here’s the thing, I do believe that content creators who started blogs and YouTube Channels YEARS ago, did have such an advantage. Not many people were doing it back then. There wasn’t this crazy amount of content like there is now. It was far easier to stand out, get noticed, get engagement, and attract followers and subscribers. The people who started blogging back when no one understood it were smart.

However, just because you didn’t start back then, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful if you’re just starting now. That’s like saying you can’t possibly open up a successful business NOW because you’re too late. Why start a restaurant or a coffee shop now when McDonalds and Starbucks already exists, right? No. You would never say that.

Here’s the thing: yes there are super successful bloggers out there who have gone on to create podcasts, books, and businesses left and right, but being a new blogger has one major advantage that those big-time bloggers don’t have. Have you noticed that in the last couple of years there’s this disgust and animosity towards influencers? People everywhere went from LOVING influencers to HATING them almost instantly and blaming them for body image issues, pressure for likes, and low self-esteem. I think part of this is because of jealousy: people wish they were one of the lucky few who get to live a cushy life just for posting about themselves online. But the main reason I think this happened is because people lost touch with influencers and bloggers. They grew too big, developed a perfect brand, and posted ads online weekly. Not to mention their life always looks SO freaking perfect. The average person doesn’t connect with that anymore.

People are sick of “influencers” and big-time bloggers. They want something real, authentic, and fresh. That’s where you come in. Starting a blog NOW isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually good because you’ve been on social media for several years at this point. Your friends and followers know you, they like you, and they see you as a REAL person. Just because you’re not a popular blogger right now, doesn’t mean that people won’t be attracted to what you have to say. You’ll be starting in a new wave of influencers that people trust and connect with more.

2. I don’t know ___(fill in the blank)___

“But Heather! I don’t know jack sh*t about SEO, or designing graphics, or getting readers, or utilizing Pinterest, or building an email list!”

I always say that building a website is very much like starting a business. You have to learn all of these odd things that you never even thought you would have to do. You have to learn how to write, design graphics, create new web pages, get more readers, build a social media following, learn to code, learn SEO (search engine optimization), create automated emails, and so much more. It’s a whole thing. But guess what? No one knew any of that crap before starting a blog. It’s impossible to know how to do any of those things without ever having done them before! You can’t possibly know how to do SEO or code when you’ve never done it or been taught it before. 

Let me fill you in on a secret, I don’t know most of that crap either. It’s embarrassing how little I know about that side of blogging. I’m two years into this and I still have SO much to learn and master. I just write because I want to! I finally stopped telling myself that I had to know everything there was to know about blogging before I created my website because that mindset is bullsh*t. It’s beyond ridiculous that we tell ourselves we have to be a genius at something before we’ve even begun. You learn those things as you go. You learn them on the job. 

I actually just connected with two different women last week who are going to teach me SEO, automated emails, and how to create ebooks. I’m still learning! But the fact that I’m HERE, showing up, and writing every week proves to people that I want to learn and makes them want to help me! These things take time, but you will find help and learn these things eventually. 

3. I don’t have a photographer 

One of the big reasons why I wouldn’t let myself start a blog for so long is because I didn’t have a photographer. All of the “successful” bloggers have FLAWLESS photos that seem never-ending. The concepts are incredible, they have tons of props and outfits, and they regularly stage photos for things like holidays. For that reason, the photography aspect of blogging could be the most intimidating. People like photos and they expect high-quality now.

But this is another limiting belief of new bloggers because we expect that of ourselves right off the bat. We expect the website to look incredible, even when it’s brand spanking new and we have no experience. But I can say with absolute certainty that you will find a photographer eventually. 

How am I so sure? Well, there’s this magical thing called synchronicity! It’s when the universe lines people, places, and things up that appear as simple coincidences but are all happening for a reason. I just so happened to meet my friend and photographer, Ray Reyes, through a photographer that I used to work with in St. Augustine who simply wanted to see Ray and I work together. Ray was looking to get out of a creative funk, and I was looking for help with my website. When we met up for coffee, neither one of us knew how close we would become or how much we would end up helping each other out over the last year. And as you might know by now, I’m a believer in the Law of Attraction. I believe that if you’re working on your passion, thinking about it, and dreaming about it, the universe will draw exactly what you need to you like a magnet. That’s exactly what I believe happened with Ray and me. Neither one of us went searching for the other, we ending up connecting accidentally and it’s been a creative match made in heaven. (I’m picturing him reading this right now and laughing at me).

If you’re not into a spiritual explanation, think about it like this. When you’re a creative person who is working on projects like blogs and talking about them with other people, you will start to meet people who share the same interests as you or want to help you. Creatives LOVE collaborating and helping each other. After all, no one follows their artistic passions to make money. Hell no. Any creator will tell you that they do it just because they love it. I’m just now starting to build up a network of other creatives and entrepreneurs so that we can support each other, collaborate, and help each other grow. It didn’t happen overnight, but it will happen for you in time. So don’t panic if you don’t have someone like a photographer to help you before you’ve even built a website. Build the site, start writing, keep an open mind, and network with people. You’ll have help soon. 

In the meantime, use things like Canva to create graphics or use websites that allow you to use photos for free. Whatever you do don’t EVER pick some random image off Google to slap on your blog. There are actually people that post photos of Google and wait for bloggers to steal them and use on their own websites, JUST so they could sue them. I recently read a story about a woman who was sued $9,000 because she used a random photo of a pepper on her blog post.

4. It’s scary! What will people think of me?

If you’re reading this blog post today, there’s a good chance that one of the reasons you’re holding yourself back from creating your blog (or even YouTube Channel) is because you’re scared about what other people will think of you. I understand this fear more than you could know. This is a very real and reasonable fear. When you’re first starting a blog, it’s awkward as all hell. You create this website for the first time and all of your friends, family, and followers go look at it and wonder, “What the hell is this? Why do they have a blog all of the sudden?” Or “Oh God, not ANOTHER blogger.”

Not only is blogging something that is blasting you out of your comfort zone but if it’s a personal blog, then it also forces you to open up and be vulnerable on a very public platform. A platform that any co-worker, friend, neighbor, or acquaintance can find. After the first several personal, introspective blog posts, you might even be left with a vulnerability hangover – that rush of shame and regret after opening up and sharing your weaknesses with others. But just like anything else in the world, it gets easier the more you do it.

Hell, I shared pictures of my face after a chemical peel where I was shedding my skin like a snake! Check out my blog post, The Jessner Chemical Peel, if you’re interested in learning about my chemical peel experience, results, and recommendations. Or hey! Remember that time when I opened up about how I’d been experiencing depression for all of 2019 even WHILE being a self-help blogger. Make sure to check out that blog, “I’m Seeing a Therapist + How I Discovered I Had Depression & Why I’m Thankful For It,” If you’d like to learn about that.

When I first started Lost Online, I used to only share posts about social media and was scared to open up and show the real, unfiltered ME. I was so afraid of people knowing the real me – The real Heather who struggles with self-sabotage, lost my hair at 19 from birth control, and believes in things like universal signs and the Law of Attraction. Now, look how far I’ve come! I would have never in a million years imagined that I could talk about those things so publicly. I was so scared that people would learn all of this information about me and end up thinking, “This girl is f*cking weird.” But you know, if they do think that, they don’t tell me. The only messages I receive are positive ones.

The point is, anything is new and scary, foreign, and uncomfortable in the beginning, but with each post, you gain more and more confidence. You find your voice, you discover what you’re passionate about, and you even start to get messages from people sharing how inspiring you are to them! As I’m writing this, I just got an email from someone who wanted to reach out and tell me that my blog is “amazeballs.” So don’t be scared of what other people think! There are millions of people out there who share the same beliefs, interests, and hobbies as you do. THOSE people will become your readers. And if your blog is not someone’s cup of tea, they won’t read it! 

5. I can’t make money blogging

Another major limiting belief that holds people back from starting a blog is that they have NO idea how to make money doing it. I’m sure you’re familiar with that recurring thought that pops up into your head saying, “Why should I start a blog now? I have no idea how I’m going to earn an income from this.” I have a few points I want you to takeaway to stop this thought from eating away at you.

First things first, you don’t have to. You don’t have to make money doing this. You can simply start a blog just because you want to and just because it’s fun. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that. It’s important to understand that this can just be a hobby. You shouldn’t feel pressure to be the next Jenna Kutcher because you’re starting a blog. The important thing is that you like it and it brings you joy. Just as the book “Big Magic” taught me, our creative projects don’t have to pay our bills.

The second point you should take away is that there are several ways to make money as a blogger, you’ll just have to discover which ones you want to do. You can email companies asking for sponsored posts, you could partner with brands and create campaigns, you could create a product line, you could sell ebooks, you could earn money through advertisements on your website, or you could use your website to attract clients (depending on what you write about or what business you have). And if you’re struggling with the financial side of it like I am, hire a business coach to help you take the next steps and earn some money! Because if you do want to earn a living doing this work, it’s more than possible. 

6. I don’t know what I would write about 

One common limiting belief that I hear from other women who want to start blogging is one that I also struggled with for those five years before I started Lost Online: “I have no idea what to write about.” That belief is what made me start several blogs that went nowhere because I was trying to be someone else. 

I was trying to write posts that I thought people expected of young women, which were the beauty-related posts. I remember the first blog I ever wrote back in my sophomore year of college was a teeth whitening recipe! At the time I only knew of beauty bloggers and YouTubers, there wasn’t this big self-help and spirituality wave of bloggers that I see now… or maybe I just didn’t know there was. This belief of mine that I had to be a beauty blogger in order to blog kept me from discovering what I really cared to write about. 

Until one day walking around my college campus, I finally had enough. I was sick of wasting time telling myself that I couldn’t do something I had dreamed about for five years, that I asked myself one simple question: “What could I write about for a year straight and never get bored?” Instantly I answered, “Digital media and the effects it has on the developing mind.” I had gotten “Lost Online” and wanted to help other people navigate the challenges that come from spending most of our time scrolling online.

I started writing about that, and before I knew it, I was starting to write more personal posts and get into the self-help realm. Now my blog has become about self-help and wellness to help people navigate all of the challenges that come with our modern-day lifestyle. But that wouldn’t have happened unless I had started writing about SOMETHING that I cared about, even if that wasn’t going to be the concept I stuck with forever. And guess what? You won’t stick with that concept forever! Your blog is a reflection of you and it’s going to change as you grow. So don’t get too focused on what you think you should be writing about, and just write. Write about what you care about right now, and it will all come together.

7. I don’t know where to learn about blogging

The most stressful thing about blogging is that there’s no blogging and content creation school to go to where people teach your SEO, coding, graphic design, how to make online ads, how to build an email list, how to create a sales funnel, a trailer for yourself, products, a podcast, ebooks, how to network with other other creatives, etc. It can feel like you’re all alone. You’re surrounded by this sea of questions and meanwhile, every blogger that you know of is getting brand sponsorships, clients, and creating massive amounts of content. Let me know in the comments if you agree!

I went to school for advertising, public relations, and communications and I was never taught ANY of those things. Sure I was taught about the IMPORTANCE of SEO, email lists, social media ads, and newsletters, but did any of my classes teach me how to do those things? Nope. It can be a lot to learn on your own. But don’t freak out. (We can’t have both of us freaking out at the same time.)

There are a couple of ways I’ve learned to help me through all of the confusion and stress that comes up when trying to start a blog and a business. One thing that I started doing was listening to podcasts. Yes, videos and articles can help you learn about blogging, but podcasts are BETTER. The reason being is that there are podcasts where the hosts do nothing but interview bloggers on how they found success and made money doing what they love. In one podcast you can learn all about how someone found success, hear about the technical side of blogging, and get step by step breakdown of how that person became a full-time blogger. 

The next thing that’s been incredibly helpful with this limiting belief is networking. I recently went to a Mastermind in Tampa where I met about a dozen women who are all entrepreneurs, authors, bloggers, health coaches, etc. I was surrounded by these women who all wanted to create a career for themselves doing what they love and be their own boss. They were incredible women and of course, they all had their own limiting beliefs, struggles, weaknesses, etc. And what we all realized that weekend was how much we could all help each other. We all have skills that someone else needs help in. I ended up connecting with all of them on Instagram and now I have coffee dates with a few of the girls to learn more about how we can support each other in our dreams and help each other with the tasks that we struggle with. I HIGHLY encourage you to go to events like this and meet people. You’ll find so much support and connection and be able to learn about things in person and ask in-depth questions. 

The last thing that’s helped me with this limiting belief is hiring a business coach. By hiring a coach, I now have someone to teach me how to do things like create ebooks or automated emails AND to break these things into baby steps so that it all gets done and doesn’t seem so scary and intimidating. My business coach also has a network of women who she can turn to ask questions and get resources that I need if we’re ever stumped.

8. I don’t know what to call it

Isn’t it funny how when you want to do something like start a blog, you can spend weeks obsessing about a name when in reality there are FAR more important things you should focus on? It’s kind of like whenever I had a test while I was growing up, I would suddenly get the urge to work out or clean my room whenever it was time to study. Obsessing over the name is just another fun way that our brains discover as a way to procrastinate. It’s something that we can blame for having not started when the real thing that’s holding us back is fear. 

Yes, the blog name is important, but it’s not THAT important. I drove myself crazy trying to come up with names for years. I was so caught up on it without realizing that the name could be changed at any time. The blog name is NOT set in stone, especially if you’re brand new! So don’t let that small detail prevent you from moving forward. If you know what you want to write about, spend a day (ONE day) brainstorming ideas. And if it’s a personal blog, don’t be afraid to have your name be the name of your website! It’s your personal brand and personal blog, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. 

9. I’m not a good writer

I’ve heard several different women share with me at this point that they fear they’re not good enough of a writer to have their own blog. They find their writing embarrassing and usually think back to their high school English paper grades which instilled this belief that they don’t know how to write. But to those people I always say, “I don’t think I’m a good writer either!”

Sure, I got A’s and B’s on papers when I was growing up, but I wouldn’t consider myself particularly GOOD at writing, especially when it comes to creative writing. I’d say my writing is “decent” or “ok.” Yet anyone who reads my blog tells me that I’m a great writer. I always find it funny when I get that feedback from people because I’m pretty sure my old English teachers would cry if they read my blog. I don’t always use correct grammar, I have no idea how to do AP style, I curse frequently, I write “lol” in posts, and I often start sentences with words like “and,” “but,” or “because.” 

So there you have it, I don’t think I’m a good writer and I don’t think you have to be a “good” writer either. To write a blog, you just have to be able to write conversationally. That’s why people like my writing. It’s not because I’m JK Rowling. It’s because my writing is real, it’s easy to read, and it’s the same words that would come out of my mouth if you and I were talking about this over coffee instead of you reading this. You don’t have to be a fabulous writer to pursue this, you only have to be able to write conversationally and ENJOY writing.

10. I’m not interesting enough

One thing that really held me back from pursuing any form of content creation is that I thought that I wasn’t interesting enough. And if you haven’t started a blog yet, there’s a good chance that you might feel this way too. That you’re somehow boring or ordinary and that people won’t want to hear what you have to say. So let’s shut this limiting belief done immediately. YOU ARE INTERESTING. I promise.

It doesn’t matter if rude people called you basic, or boring, or lame while you were growing up. It doesn’t matter what that one person who’s just too cool for you has to say. You are interesting. To readers out there, you’re one of the most interesting people on the planet. You may not have a solid group around you who cares about the same topics you do or is as excited about them as you are, but your future readers will be. And they’ll think you’re amazing for having started a blog and written about a topic that they care about too. 

I used to think that I had to look a certain way for people to be interested in me or care about what I had to say. I thought I’d have to have bright colored hair, tons of tattoos and piercings, and a hipster wardrobe for people to think I was interesting and want to read something I had written. These are all limiting beliefs. None of it is true. No one is going to be thinking, “This girl (or guy) isn’t interesting enough to write a blog.” People will connect with you because of your personality and passions. What matters is that you write about what you care about, create helpful content, and come up with interesting concepts. 

11. There’s already people who blog about the same thing

I think there’s a good chance that this could be the number one limiting belief of new bloggers. Because if you want to start a blog, I bet you can think of several other bloggers who write about the exact same things that you want to write about.

Yes, everything has already been done before, BUT it hasn’t been done by you. Everything has already been said before, BUT it hasn’t been said by you. While other people may be writing the same thing as you and have found success and subscribers, the way that you relay your message and share your story will resonate with people differently. You’re going to attract people that resonate with you as a person, who may not connect with the other bloggers who are out there now.

If you’re still not convinced, think about it this way: There are thousands, if not millions of self-help and wellness bloggers out there, and yet here you are on MY website. You could have gone anywhere, but at this point, you probably subscribe to my blog, relate to me and my story, and enjoy the way that I write. Something about my blog resonates with YOU. But I’m sure you could find similar blogs out there about this same topic. There are plenty of readers to go around.

12. I have to take a course first 

I’ve noticed that with people who want to be in wellness or content creation there’s this limiting belief that we never know enough information to start. We undervalue ourselves so much and think that we just need one more class, one more certificate, or one more program to finally start. Before I started Lost Online, I got into my head that I had to take an SEO course, a coding course, a writing course, and a photography course to start blogging – Which is all 110% FALSE. 

You are smart. You have everything you need right now to create a WordPress website and start writing about what you care about. You don’t need another certificate or program to try to prove your worth to you. It’s just a fancy and expensive way that we self-sabotage, undervalue ourselves, and procrastinate. If you’re waiting to start a blog until you finish an extra course or program, know that it’s not going to suddenly give you the courage to spread your wings and do what you want to do.

If there’s a program that you’re dying to be in and you genuinely want to do like the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) was for me, then do it. But if you’re telling yourself that you can’t start blogging because you need a certificate first, you’re mistaken. That certificate is just a way to put off starting today. 

13. What if it never amounts to anything?

Of course, no list of limiting beliefs is complete without the fear of crashing and burning, right? Another top limiting belief that new bloggers have is the overwhelming feeling that they’re going to be unsuccessful and that the entire blog would be nothing but a humiliating waste of time if you can’t generate enough traffic or make money eventually.

Let me tell you, I would rather pursue my dream and “fail” by not making money at it than to not pursue it at all. Sure it seems trendy and cool to be “a blogger” and make money off of your own website and social media platforms, but it doesn’t HAVE to amount to anything. Your blog doesn’t have to reach 20 million readers and generate enough income to pay your bills. What’s important is that you like it and you have a good time doing it!

No one will judge you if you don’t become an incredibly popular, full-time blogger. Why? Because you’re the only one who’s setting those expectations for yourself. And if I’m being completely honest, people will have no idea whether it’s considered to be “successful” or not. They’ll assume that as long as the blog is going, you’re kicking *ss at it! So who cares if nothing big ever comes out of it as long as it makes you happy and you like doing it?

14. I need a huge readership to earn money as a blogger

And last but not least, the ever so popular myth that you have to have a giant readership to make money as a blogger. Not true. Remember what I said before about how people don’t connect with mega-influencers anymore? People are attracted to PEOPLE! They’re going to buy products and read posts from someone they like, resonate with, and admire now more-so than the established influencers. And in 2019 and 2020, BRANDS KNOW THIS. More companies are shifting their focus and working with “micro-influencers.” Micro-influencers are people with a following of several hundred or several thousand followers. The reason being that these followers know and trust the influencer more. It’s a carefully curated group of followers with similar interests as you. 

You no longer need a huge following to earn money as a blogger. You need a small, loyal fanbase. These people are far more likely to listen to what you have to say, care about you, trust you, and want to support you. They’re more likely to buy your products, become your clients, read your posts, etc. So let go of this belief that you have to be a super famous blogger to make a living!

My Top Advice for Beginner Bloggers: 

I hope you enjoyed my top 14 limiting beliefs of new bloggers, and learned how to work through each belief to finally move forward and built the website you’ve been wanting to for so long. I created this post today because I’ve heard so many girls say to me, “I wish I could start a blog, but…” followed by their limiting belief. It makes me sad whenever I hear girls share their beliefs with me that it’s too late, or they don’t know something, or they don’t know how to make money. Because I don’t have all the answers either, but here I am writing a blog. And I want so badly to help them gain the confidence that they need to finally take the leap and start their own blog. I’m hoping that the advice I shared above helped get rid of those beliefs that keep us paralyzed from even starting on our dreams.

Now that you have some more confidence back and don’t feel so intimidated about blogging, I wanted to leave you with my TOP pieces of advice for starting your blog. This advice is designed for the person who is ready to take the leap and create their website so you can go into it with the right mindset. 

1. Just start and get used to it

If you really want to start a blog but keep holding yourself back, I encourage you to go to WordPress, or Squarespace, or Wix right now, and just START a website. Because oftentimes just starting the website and picking a domain and template is the hardest part. Kind of like how getting dressed for the gym is harder than actually going to the gym. It seems like a bigger deal than it is, but once you get started it’s fun and you don’t mind it!

Just start the website now, for yourself (not for anyone else). Start it without any expectations and without any plan to share it with people. Just build the website and start writing in it FOR YOU so you can at least get used to it. That’s the best piece of advice I could give you. Why? Because you don’t know if you even like blogging yet! You haven’t even played around with it, found your tone, or uncovered your core concept. Just build the site without any expectations, write something, and see what you think. Get used to having a blog and get used to writing. Don’t try to go full steam ahead and try to be the best blogger in the world immediately. Because the truth is that you might hate doing it. The first blog I started smacked me with the realization that blogging was a lot of work and required a lot of time to write, and I wasn’t ready for it. I didn’t want to do extra writing at that point in my life and I didn’t even know who I was enough to write to an audience. By the time I started Lost Online I felt ready and was super excited to sit down and write regular blog posts. So just start the blog and see what happens. Because you may enjoy it, or honestly you may hate it. But you won’t know until you try.

2. Don’t share it right away!

I see this same mistake again and again and again in my Instagram feed. So often people start a blog, write the “About Me” page, share it ALL OVER social media, write ONE blog post, and never touch it again. It makes me cringe when people do that. 

There was a time when I counted eight different girls from my school who all started a blog in the same semester, none of whom published more than two blogs. And that’s fine! They didn’t like it! But why blast it out to everyone you know on social media when you don’t even know if you really want to have a blog and put in the work? 

Just because you created a website, doesn’t mean you have to share it with everyone immediately. I built several websites before this one and they went nowhere because I wasn’t committed to them and hadn’t found my voice or my core concept. I’m so glad that I didn’t subject everyone to all of my trial run blogs before I made this one. Because if I did, I don’t think people would have taken this website seriously. Even when I had Lost Online, I didn’t share it publicly until I had the blog for nine months and published over a dozen blog posts on it. 

I highly recommend doing this same thing and waiting until you have about 10 posts up before you share it with everyone you know online. It makes it FAR less awkward. When you share a blog with a good amount of content on it for the first time, it actually impresses people. It shows that you cared and you put a lot of thought and work into it and your followers will be excited and interested in it.

Taking that time to put some thought into it, find your voice, practice writing, and put some touches on the website is what will set you apart from the girls who get eye rolls for starting a blog and makes you a girl who gets subscribers.

3. View your blog as a hobby and/or portfolio

As I mentioned before, I wanted to start a blog for years before I started this one. My big issue with starting it was I had no idea how to become “successful” and I was putting WAY too much pressure on my blogs from the beginning. I was expecting my websites to be flawless and look like Jenna Kutcher’s. I was expecting myself to have massive engagement right away and brand sponsors left and right.

Then I ended up taking a digital media class in college where my professor felt so strongly about the importance of having a blog as a communication major. She told us that employers love to see that communications students have a blog for many different reasons. It helps them get to know YOU, what you care about, and what kind of person you are beyond a LinkedIn Profile, it also acts as a portfolio, and best of all it shows that you’re a hard worker. She told us over and over again that semester that having a blog is the best thing you can to do help you get a job after graduation. For employers, it shows that you’re somebody who come backs every single week to write an article without anyone telling you to. That one habit proves that you’re committed, that you’re a hard worker, and that you have a project to do in your free time (you’re not just another college student who spends all their free time drinking).

When my professor shared that piece of knowledge with me, that was the exact advice I needed. It was the perfect logic so that I could trick my brain and get out of this mindset that I had to be successful at blogging. Instead, I started to approach blogging as a portfolio and a hobby. I was working on a project that would make me hirable after graduation and I discovered that I loved writing for pleasure and hitting that gorgeous blue “Publish” button whenever I could. 

So if you’re brand new to blogging, my advice to you is the same that my professor gave me back in college. Create a blog as a portfolio and a hobby, not as a way to become the next superstar blogger. It’ll take the pressure off you and allow you to have fun in the beginning and get into the habit of writing.

Side Note: I also don’t want to forget that my digital media professor was right! My blog did help me land jobs after college. I put my blog on my resume, LinkedIn, and Indeed and every interview that I went to the interviewer told me that they read my blog and that they were impressed with it. They also would always say, “Oh I loved that blog that you wrote about…” It was a great conversation starter and they were obviously impressed. It also helped me connect with employers on personal topics like spirituality, self-help, and social media use so I’ve had deeper conversations during job interviews because of it.

4. Give yourself some grace

My next piece of advice to you, and probably the most important piece of advice, is to give yourself some grace. Know that no one has ever known how to do this work right off the bat. Blogging is a completely unique and brand new career path, and sadly there’s no blogger school that you can attend to learn everything that you need to know. 

So before you get yourself in a frenzy and try to do it all at once (before you pull a Heather) understand that starting a blog is one massive learning process. You have to learn how to design graphics, get readers, utilize SEO, get engagement on social media, create automated emails, create a downloadable freebie, etc. It’s no small task. So give yourself some grace and know that it’s going to take a LONG time before you figure it all out. The best thing you can do is relax about it, take your time, and know that it will all get done eventually.

5. Wherever you are in the process, that’s completely fine

Whether you haven’t started your blog yet, started a blog and didn’t do anything with it, or have had a blog going for years – that’s completely fine. Don’t get wrapped up in where someone else is at with their website or where you think you should be with it. Be proud of whatever stage you’re at! 

Maybe you just figured out your name for the site, or just created a WordPress or Squarespace account, or started building your site, or if you just posted your first blog or your 100th blog – be proud of where you are in your blogging journey. Because I promise you, someone is looking at you right now wishing that they were as far ahead as you. So celebrate every single one of those tiny milestones because each one of them is amazing and is progress towards your long-term goals.

6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

My last final piece of advice before I wrap up this post today is to not be afraid to ask for help with your website. The longer you have a blog the more work you’ll realize that it is. It’s like starting up a business. No one can do it on their own. That’s why all of the “successful,” full-time bloggers have an entire team of people behind them. So when the time comes, don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. 

You can do this by hiring an intern or a business coach, hiring a creative from Upwork, hiring a social media strategist, networking with other content creators and learning how you can help each other, and attending masterminds and conferences. You won’t be able to do this all on your own forever, so don’t be afraid to ask for help ESPECIALLY if you find yourself getting burnt out or really loathing one part of blogging. For example, I can’t stand creating Pinterest graphics, so my coach and I are working on finding someone to create Pinterest graphics and captions for me. You want to make sure that this type of work is fun, exciting, and energizing for you because if you’re hating parts of it and getting burnt out, you’re going to either give up or lose readers because they’ll be able to tell when you’re not enjoying the process.

Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

As always, thank you so much for coming to Lost Online. I know exactly what it’s to be on the other side of starting a blog and having your mind filled with limiting beliefs as to why you can’t do it. My only wish is that someone out there read this and finally broke through that fear-based mindset and started their very own blog. Let me know if you do! I would LOVE to hear from you. 

Before you head out, remember to let me know your thoughts in the comments! Do you want to start a blog? How long have you been wanting to start a blog? What do you want your blog to be about? Did any of these limiting beliefs sound familiar to you? Are there any limiting beliefs that you have that I didn’t mention above? Which piece of advice helped you the most? If you could come up with your own advice for new bloggers, what would it be?

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that “+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photos by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto

Why I Quit my Full-Time Job to Eat, Sleep, Blog, Repeat

Lifestyle

Yep, that’s right. I quit my stable, full-time, job to become a blogger! You must think I’m batsh*t crazy. Maybe I am. Like I’ve said on my Home Page, I’m one of those crazy nut-jobs who believes you should do what makes you happy over what makes you fit in because our time on earth should be spent doing the things that fill us up and make our souls shine. It should be spent fulfilling our life’s purpose.

Too often people live their lives for a paycheck. They’re so scared to not have stability, or a 401k, or a healthy retirement fund. And I get all of that! Trust me, I panic about all of those things at least once a day. Because the thought of not having control and that fear-based mindset we have about old age, finances, and retirement, is scary.

And you know what’s even scarier than that? The thought of disappointing other people. That’s truly what holds people back the most in life. Because even if YOU know that you would happy quitting your corporate job to move out west, live in a tiny house, and raise some chickens (that was literally the first random example that popped into my head), you know that it would bother your family or friends. You know there would be people who question you and argue your decision even if it has absolutely nothing to do with them.

There’s all of this external pressure to be a certain way from the people in our lives and society at large. The thought of giving up the lifestyle that you’ve had your entire life could be paralyzing. But that fear-based mentality is what traps people in a lifestyle they’re actually miserable in for most of their lives. It may give them a cozy retirement, a Mercedes Benz, designer bags, and fewer rude comments from family, but in the end, it costs them their happiness.

That was the main reason for leaving my full-time job behind. I never wanted that to happen to me. But even still, I know that there are people who question this decision. And I also know that there are other people out there who need some inspiration and motivation. People who aren’t fulfilled with the life they’re leading and need to know that there’s someone else out there who knows how they feel. This is why I left my job to become a blogger…

1. You only get one life

The thing that terrifies me a million times more than finances or disappointing people is realizing at the end of my life that I wasted it. That I spent my life consumed with being the person that I thought I should be rather than being the person I’ve been dreaming of becoming since I was a little kid. There would be nothing in the world that could fill me with as much regret than choosing to NOT live my life on my terms. For that reason, even if I completely fail as a blogger and don’t amount to anything, I’ll still be happy that I did it. I will never regret this decision because I know that I had to at least TRY to give myself peace of mind. Not trying would be a decision that would haunt me, and it would always leave me wondering, “Why didn’t I at least go for it? Why did I hold myself back?”

2. This has always been my dream

Ever since I was a teenager I wanted to create content for a living. I dreamed of creating blog posts and YouTube videos so much that I didn’t even see myself doing anything else. Even though I would tell people my “plan” after college, I never truly believed what I was telling them. While I might have always shared that I was going into public relations, I honestly didn’t see myself living that life and going through with it. But I always saw myself doing this.

Call me crazy, but I believe that there’s a deeper, spiritual reason for this. I believe that if you have these life-long aspirations, they’re not meaningless. I think that we have these dreams ingrained in us because it’s what we are meant to do in this lifetime. If you spend your time fantasizing about a certain life or accomplishment for years and years, it’s your soul’s purpose to do that. These things aren’t random.

The day that I first heard someone explain this is the day that I realized it didn’t make sense for me to do ANYTHING else. It seemed absurd to continue living my life doing any other work but this. To work 40 hours a week doing something that made me unhappy while ignoring that internal voice that told me every day, “This isn’t what you want to do, Heather!” I bet you have your own dream like this. Maybe it has to do with your career, or maybe it’s something else like booking a trip. But whatever that nagging dream is for you that bugs you in the same way as those little devil and angel characters that appear on people’s shoulders in movies, you are meant to do it! Why else would you spend 1 or 2 or 5 or 10 years dreaming about that thing? It’s not random, it’s your soul’s mission.

3. To build a foundation for myself

I know some people probably think I’m insane for leaving a job to start a blog and become a health coach. I continually heard the suggestion that I should wait a year, or a least a couple of years before leaving my job to pursue my dream, that way I would save some money, get a raise, and earn a promotion. That is the option that makes the most sense financially and the option that our society considers to be smart and appropriate. But I left when I did because I knew the importance of starting early.

It makes much more sense to start working on your life-long goal SOONER rather than later. Why? Because overnight success takes TEN YEARS. Overnight success happens by working at something little by little every day, week, month, and year. These things take time. A lot of time, I should add. 

So I knew that if my end goal was to be a writer, blogger, speaker, and YouTuber within the self-help and wellness industry, it’s going to be a LONG time before I get there. It’s going to take building a solid foundation for myself first. The very early stages of following your dream are the most important and they set the stage for everything that’s to come by preparing you and teaching you vital lessons along the way. For that reason, I knew that for me it just made more sense to start while I was younger.

I also had to consider that my dream was much different than most people. My life-long dream requires years of building a personal brand, attracting a following, and developing my core message. It involved me getting sponsors, networking with other health and wellness professions that could help me in the future, and developing multiple streams of income. When your goal is to become a successful author and blogger, the path to success is not as cut and dry as “get a 40 hour a week job, stay for 10 years and then start your business.” If I was to become a successful author, I’m going to have to most likely endure years of showing up weekly and putting in the work before anything big happens. For that reason, I knew that I couldn’t put off until tomorrow what I can work on today. 

4. I’m not corporate

Another reason why I quit my job to pursue my dream is that I knew ever since I was very young that if I had a traditional, corporate job I would be miserable. It simply wasn’t me. Being in a corporate setting doesn’t seem to mesh with my personality.

For example, I’m someone who likes to have tattoos, and wears flowy bohemian pants, and wears lots of rings. Whenever I’m in my professional attire and show up to work I feel like I’m being fake. Or like I’m wearing a costume all day. I feel like a 4-year-old girl who put on her mother’s heels and is playing grown-up. I don’t think I could spend the rest of my life working a corporate job mainly because I don’t think I’d be able to handle feeling fake and not being myself for 40 hours a week. I don’t want to wait until 6 p.m. to kick off my black, work-appropriate, closed-toe shoes to finally be myself. I couldn’t stand feeling restricted and uncomfortable for that much time every day.

On top of that, I also don’t like to talk about the same things that my older co-workers always wanted to discuss at any job I’ve had. The conversation always seemed too boring and cookie-cutter for me. I’m someone that likes to talk about health and wellness, going fragrance-free, traveling the world, seeing therapists, journaling, and pursuing your dreams. I don’t want to hear about what you ate for dinner with your kids last night and what car your wife drives! I want to hear about what books you read! I want to hear about your life-long dreams and your side hustle! I want to hear about what bodyworkers you see or what trip you plan on taking next.

I always knew that I just didn’t fit in with the 9-5 life or co-workers. I was the girl who wore a giant tigers eye necklace to work, who used essential oils at her desk, who did acro-yoga on the weekends, and who blogged about self-help. I’m the odd one in the office. 

5. To feel like I make a difference 

It’s very difficult for me to work at something when I don’t feel like it matters. For example, if I had to work a 12-hour shift at Subway making sandwiches, I would probably scream. All I would be able to think about is how it doesn’t matter whether I’m there or not. I need to feel as if what I’m doing makes a difference in the world.

In school, it was easy to do things that I didn’t believe mattered because school was school, and I absolutely had to be there. I knew I had to show up and pay attention in class and I knew that I had to get random part-time jobs along the way. But when it comes to working after graduation, I feel myself spending an entire day at a traditional job thinking to myself, “Why am I doing this? How is this job even making a difference in the world? Is this really what I spent two decades of my life preparing for?”

However when I worked on campaigns that had messages I believed in, and when I worked at coffee shops and had meaningful conversations, or when I got to spend the day writing – I felt content. I felt like I had a good day because I enjoyed myself and did what I felt made an impact on the world, no matter how small or large. I was happy with how I spent my day because to me it felt productive and mattered. But working a job where customers are nasty to me or all I do is make more money for someone else, I can’t do that. I need to feel as if I’m adding value to the world and spreading messages that help people live happy, healthy, and meaningful lives. Otherwise, what’s the point?

6. To say goodbye to Groundhog Day

You know that Bill Murray movie “Groundhog Day” where his character is caught in a time loop and he’s repeatedly living the same day over and over? To me, that’s what the 40-hour corporate work week feels like. Even though my calendar says it’s a different day of the week. It all feels the same. And it’s excruciating.

I know I can’t be the only one who hates groundhog day! If there’s not variety and spontaneity in my life, I’m deeply unhappy. Because of that, my work performance suffers. It’s always happened to me for as long as I could remember. If there’s not variety, change, or progress, I feel miserable. For some reason, I get it in my head that life is only ever going to be like that. I feel as if every day will be the same for the rest of my life.

I know it’s crazy but I have an especially difficult time with it than most people and I find myself fantasizing about doing something drastic like joining the Peace Corps or moving abroad to learn Spanish. When I was working full-time I spent half my days seriously contemplating moving to Malaga, Spain for 9 months. I was about to drop everything, move to Spain, learn Spanish, and stay with a family the entire time. Before that, my previous groundhog day panic almost caused me to move to Hawaii and build a tiny house. I have a ROUGH time being tied down to a schedule. I wanted to work for myself because that way I could live life on my own terms and chose to do whatever I wanted that day and make spontaneous decisions. I could take a trip without asking for permission. I could get Christmas Eve off without a boss treating me like they’re doing me a HUUUGE favor. I could say goodbye to Groundhog Day and spend my existence however I wanted.

7. I loathe fear tactics 

I will be honest, I’ve had very bad luck in the past with previous supervisors or managers and for that reason, I’ve been told that my experience is out of the ordinary. So maybe you won’t be able to relate to this one. The majority of people that I’ve worked for (not all of them) used fear tactics as a way to motivate people. I was once told after working a job for 2 months, “I need you to prove your worth to me or else…” They were trailing off to imply that I may be fired if I couldn’t prove that my position mattered and made an impact on the company. I also have heard bosses proclaim to an entire room of employees how unhappy they were with performance and how “things are going to change around here.” Leaving everyone standing in a circle with a scared look in their eyes wondering if they’re going to be the one who gets fired. 

I don’t know about you but I’m DEEPLY against motivating people through fear and think that this part of our work culture needs to stop. We all know that people are far more motivated and productive when they are HAPPY with where they work and when they feel as if their management cares about them and respects them. People work better through being incentivized and motivated positively. Not to mention they are more loyal employees who will stay at the company longer.

However, the main reason why I loathe fear tactics is that I’ve noticed throughout every job that if a manager is using fear tactics I get so nervous and focused on what they think of me that I end up performing worse. I make errors, I mess up, I miss things that they told me to do, and I don’t meet their expectations. I get so scared that I turn into an idiot. My mental energy becomes so focused on what they think of me that I’m unable to do my job which only makes them more unhappy and makes me even more nervous. I hate working for anyone who makes me feel that way. Who fills me up with dread to the point where I’m unable to even do a good job in the first place. Whether I do become successful at this or end up getting another job in the future, I will NEVER be able to be at a company that makes it a point to scare the sh*t out of their employees every Monday morning meeting.

8. I crave freedom

If you read my previous blog post, “15 Reason to Travel While You’re Young,” then you know about how I have a serious travel bug that was passed on to me from my grandmother. I dream of traveling to as many countries and cities as I can. I want to see all of the major sites, I want to travel around our entire country someday, I want to breathe in the fresh air at all of the natural parks, and I want to swim underneath as many waterfalls as I can. That’s my dream. I crave freedom and travel and booking that next adventure. For that reason, I want to build a career for myself that allows me that freedom. One where I don’t have to stress out about asking my boss for permission to take my vacation days.

I want a career that allows me that extra time to cross things off my bucket list. Because that’s what I care about more than anything else. Living a life that is exciting, adventurous, and fulfilling. For me that means the freedom to travel, or as my grandma’s handwriting tattooed on my side reads, “A life full of travel and wonders of our planet.”

9. I don’t want to spend my life making other people rich

There’s a famous quote from Tony Gaskins Jr. that I always think of whenever I have fears about pursuing my dream and wonder if I should have just kept a traditional job instead. The quote is, “If you don’t build your own dream someone else will hire you to help build theirs.” How true is that? If I don’t have the courage and faith in myself to create a business doing what I love, someone will hire me for a measly salary to build their vision. And who says that their dream is more important than mine? And why should I have so much more faith in someone else’s dream than my own?

From where I stand, there’s pretty much those two paths in life: either you follow that epic dream you have for yourself and build your own career, or you work for someone else and make all of their life goals and aspirations happen. And there’s so much greed that no matter how much work you put in, the management, the CEO, the board of the company will always want MORE, MORE, MORE. That’s corporate America for you. To me, starting to build my brand was a way to add some real value to the world, accomplish my soul’s mission, and escape the toxic environment of corporate America (where people are treated like robots meant to make money for the 1%, not like human beings).

10. My introverted personality

This point may seem like the most insignificant and random point on my list of reasons why I left my full-time job, but in reality, I think it was the number one reason. It may not seem like it with how much I share about myself on my blog and YouTube Channel or social media, but I’m actually very introverted. And if you know me personally then I’m sure you’re very familiar with how much of an introvert I am.

As much as I love traveling the world, meeting new people, and being spontaneous, I’m also a homebody. Part of the reason is that I’m an old soul, as I talked about in my recent blog post “An Old Soul Trapped in a Young Body.” But mostly, I’m just a very introverted person. I feel better when I spend most of my time alone. I feel exhausted, drained, uncomfortable, and stressed out when I’m surrounded by groups of people for extended periods of time. I can only take it for so long.

When I was working a full-time job I was extremely overwhelmed being around people 40 hours a week, and then coming home and spending every other waking hour with my boyfriend. The only time I had alone was when I was showering! (I nearly ripped Matt’s head off one day when he flirtatiously suggested we shower together. How dare you try to take my ten minutes a day to myself!) I felt like I was never able to relax and recharge. 

That’s why I knew I had to build a career for myself where I was able to spend most of my time as an introvert. I could still meet up with other creatives, network with other wellness warriors, go to conferences and meet clients, but I wouldn’t be with people 100% of the time. Because as an introvert, I need that space to myself. Sadly, most of the corporate jobs don’t allow people to be introverted. There’s a really interesting Ted Talk by Susan Cain called “The Power of Introverts” about how our world is set up for extroverts and about how introverts offer skills and talents that could add so much value to the world if only we allowed our introverts to be themselves. I highly suggest listening to it, whether or not you’re an introvert OR an extrovert.

11. But above all, to create a life doing what I LOVE

My final point, “to create a life doing what I love.” Oh, you must think I’m so cliche and ridiculous, but hear me out. For the longest time, the American Dream was about equality of opportunity. It was the idea that any goals or aspirations could be achieved by any American regardless of gender, age, or color. We did this through the 40-hour workweek. Americans showed up and worked harder and harder knowing that with hard work and motivation they could create a comfortable, happy, and healthy life for their family and future generations. But then, something interesting happened. The American Dream changed.

It became one that was focused on material goods and keeping up with the Joneses. It happened for a variety of reasons, but that’s far from the point. As our culture changed, so did the American Dream. It became far more focused on appearances, material goods, and social status. It became less about working hard for the dream that our family could have opportunity, education, and stability and more about what car is parked in the driveway. And with this shift in ideology, any concept of creating a life doing what you loved vanished.

We became obsessed with working so that we could earn more, spend more, and keep up with appearances. Consequently, we all filled ourselves with stress and anxiety, spent the day at jobs we hated and blew our money on consumer products. Now we have millions of people across the country wondering: “What’s wrong with me? I got a high paying job, I’m earning six figures, I bought my dream car, I have a big house. Why am I unhappy?”

Hmmm… maybe it’s because we’ve built our entire lives around things that are outside of ourselves. The idea of looking inward and creating a life based on what we want and what would make us happy seems so far fetched, foreign, and unrealistic. The people who claim do it are viewed as unicorns and are thought to have gotten lucky.

But now, people all across the world are starting to wake up. To realize that this idea that was hammered into our heads is just ONE template on how to live. Just because the generations before us found financial success through a traditional 40 hour work week and a boss that they couldn’t stand, doesn’t mean that that’s the ONLY way to live. It’s just ONE way to live. It doesn’t mean that creating a life doing what you like is impossible. And the people who are viewed as unicorns are the few who woke up decades ago and decided to do what they wanted regardless of what other people thought.

I’m one of those people that the majority of society still deems as unrealistic and crazy. I know that with hard work and motivation I could find success not just in a 40-hour workweek at a corporate job, but even by creating a life doing what I love. And I would much rather work hard at creating a life that I love. One that fills me up and makes me happy with the work that I do. Not one that just pays the bills and buys me a fancy car at the sacrifice of my own dreams.

Thank you for coming to Lost Online!

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this week’s blog post about why I left my full-time job to pursue blogging and NOW health coaching! I decided to share my reasons for leaving my traditional job behind because I know the battle that goes on in your head when trying to decide whether or not to take the leap into the great unknown and pursue your life-long dreams. And I know that there are many other people out there who are currently dealing with this mental battle and weighing the pros and cons every day in their heads on the way to work. I want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not insane for wanting to break free of what you’ve been told you SHOULD do throughout your life. Only YOU know what’s best for you.

I also want to acknowledge that I know not everyone can up and leave their job behind to pursue their interests. I know that many people have mouths to feed, high mortgage payments, high medical bills, and student loans that make it impossible to leave their job. To those people, I want to say that I understand that it’s not as simple as this blog post may make it seem. What I will suggest for you is to figure out a way to incorporate your side hustle into the schedule EVERY DAY. No matter who you are, you do have time somewhere in your schedule. The important thing is to at least take action and move the needle forward each and every week so that you are always getting one step closer to making your side hustle your full-time career. Figure out ONE thing that you can do each day to help you move forward and make progress, and if you’re having a hard time, hire a business coach! It’s ok to ask for help.

Before you head out, let me know what you think in the comments! Did you ever leave your full-time job behind to pursue your dream? Are you thinking about doing it yourself? What are some of your reasons for focusing all of your energy on your own goals? What’s your biggest, craziest, wildest dream? Is there a way you can bring it into fruition while keeping your 9-5?

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that”+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photos by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.

How I Transformed My Life with the Law of Attraction: My 8 Powerful Manifestation Techniques & What I’ve Learned From It

Lifestyle, Self-Help, Spirituality

But First… A Message to the Skeptics

I am a huge believer in the Law of Attraction, and I’ve seen it completely transform my life over the course of the last four years. And what I’ve learned from talking to others about my experience is that people fall into one of two viewpoints when it comes to this topic… Either they are a believer just like me who have witnessed the magic of manifestation in their own lives OR they’re skeptics – They don’t believe it, they think it’s a load of crap, and they think that the people who preach about it just “got lucky.”

So what do I know about the Law of Attraction?

Four years ago I was the most unhappy I’ve ever been. I was in a town that I hated living in, I was in a toxic and co-dependent relationship, I was losing my hair from birth control, I was depressed, I was broke, I had been betrayed by several of my closest friends, and my job was terrible in every way. That rock bottom time in my life when I felt that I had nothing else to lose, that’s when I committed to using the Law of Attraction.

If you’re just hearing about The Law of Attraction for the first time, it’s among the most popular of Universal Laws, made popular by the documentary The Secret which came out in 2006. Simply put, it’s the idea that like attracts like. It’s the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring about positive or negative experiences into our lives. The Law of Attraction is based on the idea that people and their thoughts are made up of energy and because like energy attracts like energy, a person can improve their health, happiness, wealth, career, relationships and more. It uses cognitive reframing techniques and visualization to replace negative thought patterns and bring about positive improvements, material possessions, opportunities etc. into a person’s existence.

I had been familiar with the movie “The Secret” and had started to finally use the Law of Attraction out of comfort. I had NOTHING that was bringing me joy and happiness in my life, and spending my time visualizing what I wanted and convincing myself that everything that I wanted was being drawn to me like a magnet, was something that I did because it made me feel better. It took the pain away, it made me smile, and it gave me something else to think about instead of just how miserable I was.

What I actually wanted more than anything was to live in Florida. I was sick of the seasonal depression, the snow, and the bitter negative 55-degree weather. I didn’t want to be in the middle of Nowhere, Wisconsin for the rest of my life finishing college and getting a corporate job where I had to wake up at 6 a.m. and sit in front of my special lamp that gave me vitamin D in the winter. No. My dream was to live in Florida. To model. To be a blogger. To visit Costa Rica. To swim under the La Fortuna waterfall. To tour Europe. To drive my dream car – a hard top Jeep Wrangler through palm trees. To be in a loving, happy and supportive relationship with someone who actually had things in common with me. To start a YouTube Channel. To receive an unexpected and large sum of money. To spend my days doing what I loved. To have a little bohemian bungalow to come home to. To have a puppy. As well as several smaller, material possessions.

I had a very, very specific dream back then of what I wanted my life to look like. Today, four years later, this is my life:

This is not bullsh*t. This is not me getting “lucky.” I manifested my dream. My home, my partner, my travels, my large and unexpected sum of money. I manifested my dream life. The life that I prayed for and visualized a hundred times over and over again during that most difficult time in my life. I’ve received 99% of the things that I wanted back then, and the things that I haven’t received are literally just around the corner. Matt and I are hunting for our perfect home right now and we plan on bringing a little fur baby into our lives as soon as we move in. This sh*t is real.

If you still don’t believe me, that’s totally fine, but the Law of Attraction is operational whether you’re a believer or a skeptic. Our thoughts shape our reality. So today, I wanted to share with you my eight powerful manifestation techniques that I’ve used to bring about the life that I have now in hopes that it will help YOU. In hopes that it will help you manifest your dream and live each and every day in a state of happiness, abundance, and gratitude. So without further ado, these are the 8 manifestation techniques that helped me create the life that I had now:

1. Heightened Visualization

Hear me out. I know that you were expecting to see this on the list and it may not be anything new, but I want to tell you HOW I practiced this every day and how I made the most of my visualization practice. The #1 way that I manifested my life is through what I can only describe as intense or heightened visualization. (Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous).

Each and every night for at least an hour a night I would practice visualization. And I wouldn’t just practice it the way you would think – I wouldn’t just imagine something. I would close my eyes and make myself feel as if what I wanted was actually happening. I would feel each and every detail of that moment. For example, with the car that I wanted, I would visualize driving down a street that was lined with palm trees. I would visualize a ring on my hand; how beautiful the palm trees looked against the sky; how the steering wheel felt against my hand; how excited and grateful that I was to be driving it. I would visualize each and every detail as best I could. I made myself feel so happy in the moment that I didn’t even really need the car because I felt like it was already happening. I did this with everything. I visualized swimming under La Fortuna and seeing it for the first time. I visualized being in love with the most perfect person for me. Each and every detail I visualized so strongly and with such happiness that I felt as if I already had it.

2. Overwhelming Gratitude

At the very end of each visualization practice, I would have myself feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I would thank the universe – because that’s what I call the higher power. You can call the universe God, or Source, or Source Energy, or Creation, or Love – whatever word resonates with you. But I would thank the universe and feel an overwhelming rush of gratitude that was so strong that I couldn’t help but cry. I would also say “thank you,” “thank you,” “thank you,” over and over again. It wasn’t just a subtle feeling of gratitude, it was so strong and I felt in my heart and in every cell of my body. I felt gratitude like I’ve never experienced before. And I would do this after each and every visualization practice.

3. A Daily Gratitude Practice

The third thing that I started to do was introducing a daily gratitude practice. If you’ve read my post, “Stream of Consciousness Journaling: The Benefits & How to Practice It,” or “My Daily Gratitude Practice,” then you’ve already heard me talk about my gratitude practice a bit. But I can’t talk about this enough because it’s been the one part of my daily routine that has added so much happiness and peace to my life that no amount of meditation or no self-help book has been able to bring me. For that reason, I swear by it.

Each and every night before I go to bed I practice gratitude by opening up a document on my computer and writing IN DETAIL about ONE THING that I’m grateful for. I want to highlight “in detail” and “one thing” the most because SO many gratitude practices stress a specific number of things you should feel grateful for which makes it feel like a chore and makes it more about hitting a number than about the feeling of gratitude. I also say in detail because people say that a gratitude practice should just be one word like “health” or maybe a quick sentence each day like, “today I feel grateful for my health.” However, I believe that those simple and quick practices don’t raise your vibration enough and radiate enough gratitude into the universe to truly transform your life.

For that reason, I pick one thing each day that I am the most grateful for and I write about why I feel grateful about it. It could be an opportunity, a person, an event. I don’t make myself hit a set number of sentences, I write whatever amount feels natural in the moment and I write until I feel like I’ve finished describing it. (It’s usually about two paragraphs, just in case you really need an idea of how much I write each day.)

This practice has helped me reflect deeply on something that brings me true happiness and gratitude. It always shifts my mind away from the stressors in life and puts me in a super happy, and high vibe mood that helps me to visualize what I want. Over time I noticed that I started to feel less anxious, happier, and more peaceful even throughout the day, not just at night. Feeling like this each and every day really sets you up for success with your manifestation and puts you in the right frequency to attract what you want.

4. Creating a Vision Board

Again, hear me out. If you’re really interested in the Law of Attraction, you’ve heard this method a thousand times by now. But, you haven’t heard about my method. I’ve tried creating vision boards for my bedroom many times and found that they just never worked for me. I would always get too critical about whether it looked good and how artistic my board was so it would prevent me from really resonating with it. Instead, I created my vision board the way us millennials do anything else – on my phone.

I created a private board on Pinterest and found beautiful photos that I connected to. Photos that I felt truly reflected the life that I wanted and dreamed of. I created the most beautiful board and whenever I woke up in the morning, or was on a break from work, or was scrolling through my phone, I would pull up that board. It made me feel so happy and would constantly remind me of what I was hoping to attract. I loved it because I already take my phone everywhere, so that way I was able to bring my vision board with me as well.

Whenever I opened the board, I would take my time and look at each photo and imagine what it would feel like to actually have that item or accomplishment. There were photos of Costa Rica, Europe, happy couples in their home together, beautiful bungalows, Jeep Wranglers, and more. I posted pictures that reflected each area of my life like my home, my relationship, and my finances. This technique helped me get back into that manifestation mindset even when something stressful would come up.

5. Commitment

The reason why I believe that I transformed my life and created this much change is because I committed to it and I became pretty much obsessed with it for several months. I think the biggest mistake that people make is that they get really motivated and excited to use the Law of Attraction and manifest their dream life, but then they give up after just a few days. I made this manifestation process my entire life for several months. Every single moment when I wasn’t working or in class or busy, I was visualizing, practicing gratitude, and looking at my vision board. Just like anything else, if you want it to really work or turn out, you have to devote your time and energy to it. You can’t just do it for five minutes right after you saw “The Secret,” you have to make it a daily practice. The universe responds to you if you continue to show up, raise your vibration, and practice manifestation each day.

6. Sparking Joy

One thing that I did throughout this process was I surrounded myself with things that would spark joy and removed the things in my environment that were triggers. (I use the phrase  “sparking joy” to describe this because I’ve been binge-watching “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” this week. However, I didn’t know I was following her method four years ago.) I made it a point to surround myself with things in my environment that made me feel good and made me happy. I did this by adding plants and crystals all over my room and my apartment and putting up decorations or pictures that made me feel really happy and brought back wonderful memories.

I didn’t just surround myself with things I liked, I made it a point to remove things in my environment that we’re trigger items for me and made me unhappy in some way. I removed items that reminded me of a bad time in my life, or a crappy memory, or a fight with my boyfriend at the time. I also made it a point to remove things that I was keeping ONLY because someone else would be upset or offended if I got rid of it. And lastly, I removed things in my environment that made me feel guilty. For example, I used to have several books on my bookshelf that I had sitting there for YEARS, but never read them. And every single time I would glance at them on the shelf I would feel bad and feel guilty that it had been six years since I bought that book and still had never read it, or had any intention of reading it.

Throughout this process, I was amazed by how many things I had in my environment that triggered me all day long and made me feel terrible every time I would look around my room. I had gotten rid of several garbage bags filled with things that made me feel bad. After this process, I was blown away by how the energy in my room had changed. How I felt happy, lighter, and happier just because I was surrounded by items that reminded me of joyful moments or I felt were so beautiful to look at: plants, photos, and crystals.

If you’re trying to manifest your dream life, I think this is an extremely important step that no one ever talks about when discussing the Law of Attraction. Our environment impacts us so much. It’s really important to make sure it fuels positive emotions.

7. Staying Inspired

It’s super easy to feel inspired in the beginning when you first watch a video or read a book about the Law of Attraction, but it’s really important to keep that inspiration going so you continue to practice it with enthusiasm each day. In order to really commit to this process I had to keep myself inspired for many months, and I did this by constantly watching “The Secret. I found that whenever I watched “The Secret” I become so convinced that it was real, I felt inspired, and it put me in the manifestation mindset.

I wouldn’t watch it from start to finish, but I would play parts of the movie so I could hear the speakers as I was getting ready for the day or driving. I also would find quotes through Pinterest that inspired me and kept me thinking about what I wanted and believing that it was coming to me. Staying inspired is probably the hardest thing to do. It’s important to keep an eye out for what speaks to you and surround yourself with whatever keeps you in that mindset. Whether that be a podcast or a book or a movie, because you don’t want to lose that inspiration right as you’re starting to really manifest what you want and make progress.

8. Keeping Secrets

The eighth and final thing that I did to practice the Law of Attraction and manifest my dream life was I didn’t tell anyone. I kept my manifestation practice a secret and didn’t share it until well after I received what I set out to. The reason why I did this is because I have many skeptics in my life, and you may have them as well. Telling other people around you what you’re trying to attract could set you back in this whole process and prevent you from actually reaping the benefits of the Law of Attraction and seeing the changes in your life. If you make the mistake of telling other people, it not only puts pressure on what you’re trying to manifest because you feel as if you have to prove the Law of Attraction to people, but it also throws their feelings, thoughts, and ideas into the mix. Let’s say you tell a friend or family member what you’re trying to attract, they could be putting thoughts out into the universe that are sabotaging your efforts. If they believe that the Law of Attraction is a load of crap and projecting that into the universe, it could backfire for you. You want to make sure that nothing but love, gratitude, and faith is being projected out into the world when trying to manifest your dream life.

The Lessons I’ve Learned

Using these 8 techniques I was able to receive everything that my 18 and 19-year-old self wanted more than anything in the world. I wanted to share the techniques with those of you who also have an unwavering faith that the Law of Attraction is real, but I also wanted to share what I’ve learned over these last 4 years that ISN’T in any of those books, videos, and movies about manifestation. So these are the lessons about the Law of Attraction that I learned from this experience, in hopes that it will help you to better understand what you can expect moving forward in this process:

It works both ways

For as wonderful as the positive thoughts and ideas work for manifestation, so do the negative ones. I noticed that not only does projecting negativity bring about negative things in your life, but it can also postpone the positive things. Whenever I’m in a place in my life where I’m feeling very low and down about myself and I’m focused on what it’s not going well and what I DON’T have, I don’t receive the positive things.

The movie, “The Secret,” does a great job of hitting on this point – that the Law of Attraction can also bring about more debt, more fighting, and more discontent if you’re not careful. For me, it didn’t UNDO receiving my dream life, but it did push things back whenever I started to become pessimistic or overly stressed out. I never received when I was in that place.

You don’t have to monitor your thoughts

For some people, if you still do not have an unwavering faith that your dream is coming toward you, projecting negativity could be stopping your dream altogether. Upon hearing the last lesson, it might feel like you have to monitor your thoughts because that’s how I felt for a while. However, it’s not so much monitoring your negative thoughts as it is making a point of doing what makes you happy and makes you feel good in life.

It’s about making the visualization your dream life SO MUCH FUN that it becomes enjoyable and you don’t want to stop. It’s also about surrounding yourself with things that make you so happy and engaging in activities that you enjoy more than anything so you’re in the positive mindset without requiring monitoring. I don’t just mean going to a bar, I mean doing the things in life that really bring about deeper satisfaction. I started nannying again just because it brought me so much joy to take care of babies. I started doing the things that were on my bucket list just because it brought me inner peace and happiness as opposed to always telling myself “someday” I’ll do that. I started paying for experiences over possessions because it made me feel much happier long term than simply making an impulse purchase. It’s not so much about monitoring your thoughts as it is about making sure you’re in a positive and satisfying place in your life whenever you can and really enjoying the manifestation process along the way, as opposed to feeling like it’s a chore.

Your inner dialog can backfire

I’m not just talking about how you feel about life in general here: whether you’re happy or unhappy, negative or positive. One of the most difficult lessons that I’ve learned throughout this process is that the negative inner dialog and the way that I feel about MYSELF does impact manifestation. Throughout most of this process, there have been things that I wanted more along the lines of accomplishments but I didn’t get because I didn’t feel worthy. If you’re trying to manifest a Range Rover for example, if you feel like you don’t deserve it and have constantly self-sabotaging and self-harming thoughts, you won’t receive it. You have to get to a point where you stop that criticizing voice and find ways to truly love yourself, or else your inner dialog is going to be sabotaging this entire process and (TRUST ME) it will win.

I could write an entire post just about that inner dialog and how to deal with it. But for now, I’ll have to keep it simple: positive thoughts, compassion, and love towards yourself is equally as important as the vision boards and visualization. So do whatever you have to and find peace with yourself. Know that you’re worthy of having your dream to begin with, or else your subconscious mind will make damn sure you don’t get that Range Rover.

Nothing happened in the way I would expect

I honestly thought when I first started this process that the only possible way I could get everything I wanted in life was through winning the lottery. I thought it would take millions of dollars to be able to make everything happen. But it didn’t! Nothing – I mean nothing – happened in a way that I would have expected. So don’t for a second waste your time thinking about HOW it could possibly happen. That’s not your job. That’s the job of the universe.

When I first started trying to manifest back in 2015, I felt that thinking about the HOW would help out the universe in some way by presenting a logical and practical way for me to receive what I wanted. But there was nothing logical or practical to me about it. For example, I used to always visualize my dream relationship and a trip to Costa Rica (separately). I somehow met Matt out at a bar I NEVER go to, with a group of people I NEVER hung out at before,  just people his friend Pat said something funny. A year later his parents gifted us a trip to Costa Rica they had actually been meaning to go on themselves. Well, that’s not how I say my dream happening. I literally thought I had to win the lottery for me to be able to go to Costa Rica back then. The point is, don’t waste a single second thinking about the HOW. All that will do is convince yourself that there’s no way your dream will come true, just because you can’t figure out how on earth it could possibly happen.

You will receive as you’re ready

You cannot and should not put a date on when you expect to receive something. My move to Florida started to be put in motion THREE MONTHS after I was visualizing about it for an hour or two each night. My dream car I got two years after I began visualizing it. My tour of Europe I got after graduation. Some things happened right away. Some things took longer. But after I looked back at everything I wanted and everything that I’ve received up to this point, I realized that the universe gave me things as I was ready for them. Yeah, it would have been nice to get everything instantly in one day, but it didn’t work that way. For example, I tried extremely hard to find a perfect partner. I went on dates every week and as a result, all that ended up happening was I dated a string of guys for two months each who all just wanted to “have fun.” *insert eye roll here*

It wasn’t until I gave my “sweeping declaration” one night about how I was DONE dating, I loved myself, I was happy alone and I didn’t need another person to complete me when the universe decided I was ready and I was introduced to Matt just a few hours later. It’s no coincidence that I met my partner of two years right after I decided I loved myself and I wanted to give up dating and trying to force a relationship. Things take time, and sometimes the only reason why you’re not receiving something is that you’re not ready for it. For this reason, I believe that there’s also a spiritual connection with the Law of Attraction that none of us understand.

I didn’t have to work for the material things

When looking back at my trips and my possessions I realized that I actually didn’t have to work for them, they were gifted to me. The first thing that I hear from people who don’t believe in the Law of Attraction is that it’s not real because they believe that I wanted something so I worked for it… and then bought it. It’s not manifestation apparently, it’s hard work and money. But the thing is, it wasn’t hard work. The move, the Jeep, the trips, etc. were gifted. I didn’t work for them at all. And yes, that may sound very entitled or self-absorbed to someone who hasn’t met me and is reading this, but my point again that the HOW is up to the universe.

Don’t go into this process thinking, “Oh sh*t, I have to come with $50,000 for that Jeep. I better clock more hours at work.” No. Things will be presented to you in ways that you never expect, the reason why you don’t have them isn’t that you don’t work enough. So take a deep breath, and just get back to your vision board.

You don’t have to PROVE anything to people

It can be frustrating when you’ve transformed your life with the Law of Attraction but then your close friends and family don’t believe you. Trust me, I understand. I spent countless hours for three months visualizing this move to Florida and somehow my dad was offered a job in Florida just months after that. And every single person I’ve talked to about it gives me that forced, fake smile (you know that one were you can tell people think you’re crazy) and says “Ohhhh… that’s nice.” OR, becomes a very vocal skeptic and openly tells me that I’m wrong and everything I’ve received is one giant coincidence.

For a while, I believed that I had to tell the world what happened and that I had to prove that what happened to me was real. However, after having so many of the same encounters with people I finally realized this: you don’t have to PROVE the Law of Attraction to anyone. Why? Well for starters there’s no reward to proving it to someone, but most importantly it’s going to be impossible.

Trying to convince someone that the Law of Attraction is real will be as effective as trying to convert them to your religion. Everyone has their own set of beliefs about life, spirituality, and the mysterious workings of the universe based on their background, upbringing, and experiences. Going into a conversation with someone and trying to convince them that the Law of Attraction is real would be pointless as trying to get me to pray to Jesus, read the Bible, and go to church on Sundays. Or like trying to convince a skeptic to believe in ghosts. Go ahead, as an experiment seek out a skeptic, tell them some of your ghost stories, and see if you can convince them ghosts are real. Or better yet, try to convince a Republican to be a Democrat and vice versa. Do you see what I mean? So don’t feel like you have to PROVE what happened to you. Talk about it with the people who believe in the Law of Attraction, and if they don’t, that’s ok. You don’t have to defend yourself and prove anything. People will think you’re crazy, and that’s fine. Everyone close to me thought (and still thinks) I’m crazy for saying that I’ve changed my life with the Law of Attraction. If history has taught us one thing, it’s that we cannot change other people and their beliefs. Talk about the Law of Attraction with people who understand and support you, and if they don’t, let it be.

Thanks so much for reading!

I really hope you guys enjoyed this post about the Law of Attraction, how I manifested what I wanted, and what I’ve learned from this experience. As always, let me know what you think in the comments! What this post helpful for you? What parts? Have you used the Law of Attraction in your life? What have you been able to manifest and how did you do it? Did you learn anything interesting from your experience with the Law of Attraction?

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Photos by Ray Reyes, IG: @rocketsciencephoto.