I Interview Self-Help Author, Life Coach, & Speaker, Laura Juntunen – Self-Sabotage, Me Time, Her New Book & more

Interviews, Self-Help

Hello! And welcome back to Lost Online Blog!

I’m incredibly excited to share this week’s blog post with you because this week I’m interviewing life coach, speaker, and new self-help author of “Happiless Chokelist,” Laura Juntunen!

I met Laura one weekend while attending a mastermind event in Tampa organized by my business coach, Jessica Stadler. I was super nervous going into it and showed up not knowing what this weekend had in store for me. Laura was one of the first people to talk to me and make me feel welcome. I had heard in passing that she was a new author, but didn’t know much about her besides that.

Then, once all the girls arrived and the mastermind began, we all went around in a circle and talked about ourselves – what we do, what type of business we have OR want to have, what our dreams are for the future, etc. Laura was the first person to introduce herself.

She shared with all of us that she was a new self-help author, blogger, speaker, health coach turned life coach, and that her dream was to travel around America with her boyfriend in an RV and see all of the national parks and landmarks. She also shared that not too long ago she left her job to pursue blogging, speaking, writing, and coaching.

If you’re a reader of mine and know me well, you could imagine that I was in complete shock! My biggest dream in life is to become a self-help author, speaker, and blogger; I left my job this year to hopefully make that a reality; I’m a new health coach; and at the very top of my bucket list is to travel around America in an RV to see all the national parks and landmarks. It was like I could hear the Twilight Zone music playing in my head.

There I was sitting three feet away from another woman who was just like me! AND she lives in the Tampa area!!! What?

Laura was one of the reasons why I left that mastermind event in the best headspace I had been in for all of 2019. I no longer felt like I was this super weird person for pursuing health coaching, writing, and speaking or because one of my dreams is to travel around America. I now had a completely new perspective on life and those “dreams” that I always had finally felt possible. 

Before the mastermind, I didn’t know anyone who was like me, so I thought that I was strange and “unrealistic” for wanting those things. It felt very isolating and lonely. Not many people leave their job to write self-help content for a living or coach people. You know what I mean?

Since meeting Laura, I’ve officially launched my business, created my new Health Coaching page for you, created a new program that I’ll be offering to clients, developed a coaching challenge to kick off the start of my business, and started working on my first ebook. I can say confidently it was because of her. Knowing that there’s a normal person out there (not a celebrity or New York Times Best-Selling Author) who’s just like me and living her dream is what gave me the courage and the motivation I needed to get back to work.

Laura’s presence alone is inspiring to me, and I hope that today, her words will inspire you too.

So without further ado, here is my latest girl crush –

life coach, speaker, and author,

Laura Juntunen.

Happiless Chokelist

Heather: First of all, I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming onto Lost Online and doing an interview! As someone who is also a coach and a self-help writer I literally could not be more thrilled to be able to interview you (:

Laura: Thank you so much for asking me to do this interview – super exciting!

Q: Of course, we have to start out talking about your new book! You just published your very first book “Happiless Chokelist” in November. I know a lot about your book from from reading it and hearing you talk about it. But for those people who are just learning about Happiless Chokelist for the first time, can you share a little bit about the book? 

A: Happiless Chokelist is a self-help book which leads you to break through barriers, gain the clarity that you lack, and move forward in life. All of this is done in the hopes that you find your true happiness. In the book, I lay out a five step process which leads you to learn about the situations in your life in a way that makes them manageable and lets you move past them.

Q: Can you share a little bit about your story and what ended up planting the seed for the Happiless Chokelist in your mind?

A: The Happiless Chokelist is a process that actually came up by accident. I had a lot of barriers in my way that I did not know how to navigate. Slowly, I started to get rid of the negative issues in my life, one by one, and years later, I found a distinct pattern. I had eliminated negative issues by trial and error; however, there were five distinct steps that I had taken over and over again. I tried out the process with some clients and it worked for them too, so I developed a coaching process and eventually this book, so that I could help more people. The name is a play off of how I would feel like I was “choking” when I was facing obstacles, along with the idea that instead of a happiness checklist, we are diving into eliminating the “Chokes,” or the negative; hence, HappiLess ChOKElist. I love punny titles. 😉

Q: How has this material you discuss in your book, like creating your own Happiless Chokelist and working through each Choke, benefited you in your own life? How is your life different now?

A: I use the Chokelist every single day. The process is so simple and efficient, that when you get the hang of it, it becomes a way of life rather than a burden or a “job,” like many other processes can feel. Through using this process I have been able to quit my full-time job to pursue life coaching full-time, I wrote a book in four months, and I am working on a journal to accompany the book (which will be coming out early 2020). On top of my business development, I also have made great strides in my personal life.

Q: What do you think is unique about your message and book that stands out among the others? I’ve noticed that most people who don’t believe in self-help material often tend to think that it’s all the same message.

A: What stands out the most with the Happiless Chokelist process is that it not only tells you how to get through your barriers, but it also tells you how to maintain that forward momentum. One of the reasons people “fail” when it comes to self-help is that they read a book or try out a process and they don’t continue using it; they start and stop, start and stop, etc. If you have a way to make it a continuous evolution, it will not only help you resolve any issues you have, but it will make sure you continue to do so. The Happiless Chokelist process does this.

Q: I recently wrote a blog post all about my experience with people telling me what I was “supposed to” do, so I was super interested when you talked about this concept in your book. Can you explain what a “supposed to” kid is like and how being a “supposed to” kid affects us?

A: A “supposed to” kid is someone who was brought up believing that they had to do certain things in order to be happy and/or successful. It is something that can be ingrained in your subconscious without you even realizing it. These beliefs can be placed on you by your parents, teachers, mentors, and, most commonly, society and/or the idea that you have to “fit in.” When we are told that we have to do certain things to be successful, we think that there is no other way to gain that success. Here’s a common example: My high school teachers said I have to go to college to get a high-paying job, so if I don’t go to college, I won’t make any money. Not only does this person believe that they have to go to college, but they also believe that if they don’t go to college they won’t make any money. College = High paying job = No other career avenue will bring wealth. Little ideas that we hear as a child can make huge consequences. It is essential that you reevaluate your beliefs and make sure that they are legitimate. Isn’t it true that people can make plenty of money and find success without going to college? Yes. That belief system could be keeping you from creating something extraordinary. 

Q: What would you suggest to Lost Online readers for breaking free from societal pressures about what we’re “supposed to” do?

A: Understand that in most cases it is fear that is holding you back. We do what we’re “supposed to” do because we “know” that it will bring us success. We “know” that we can succeed like everyone else which means we are safe. However, there are plenty of people who have lived the “supposed to” life since they were born and are kicking themselves because they didn’t take risks, go on the adventure, or pursue the dream, all because they were “supposed to” do the safe, responsible thing. They ended up living in regret of what they wished they had pursued. So, if you have a choice to pursue life, why not do it? I’m not saying to quit your day job to travel the world, but I am saying to start working towards that dream. Start pursuing the things that you love, bring you joy, and bring you happiness. Tell society that you are stronger and more capable than it gives you credit for. Take the leap or, at least, that first step.

Following Your Passion

Q: So I’m super curious, most people don’t just fall into being a self-help author! How did you know that you were passionate about writing and self-help?

A: I have always wanted to be an author. As a kid I would write and tell stories, and I loved the idea of reading and writing for a living. I am a bookworm. However, as I was growing up I was told that I would not be able to make a living as an author. I was told that I was “supposed to” get a safe job in this economy and world that we live in, and writing was not “safe.” I went all through high school and college believing that I was not supposed to be a writer because it wasn’t safe. Well, I then realized this limiting belief inside myself and said, screw it, I am going to pursue this passion. If it works, it works; if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I’m glad I decided to pursue this dream because those limiting beliefs were definitely wrong!

Q: I’m sure leaving your job to become a life coach, speaker, and author had to be scary! What gave you the courage to leave the 9-5 life behind and pursue your dream career?

A: It was terrifying. Going from a steady job with a safe income to the completely unknown was one of the scariest things I have ever done. However, I gained the courage I needed through a simple practice, which you can do right now: Imagine your life ten years down the road. Visualizing that future self, will you regret not pursuing your dream? When I thought about my life ten years down the road, I knew that I needed to pursue my life coaching business full-time. If I didn’t pursue it now, I would regret it later on. I made the decision quickly, but it took a full year to finally make the transition. Being prepared for the transition was essential. I would not change anything.

Q: What keeps you motivated even on the days when you feel like things are moving slower than you want it to and you’re having doubts?

A: Every day I struggle with something; I’m human. So are you! I think that’s the biggest issues; people think that it’s easy for everyone but themselves. But it’s difficult for everyone. When I feel like things are moving too slowly in my business or when doubts spring up, because they do often, I take myself out of the work zone. I do something completely off of my schedule; I go rollerblading or to the gym, I read a fun book or I play with my pet bunnies. I get out of my own head and step away from the doubt and fears. Taking myself out of that mindset creates space for me to see what the reality is: I’m running a business, it is not going to be easy all the time, and all I have to do is trust that what I am doing is enough.

Self-Help

Q: I know that even as a coach and self-help help writer, you’re not immune to limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and personal challenges – we’re all human! Do you have practices that you put in place to make sure that those “Chokes” as you call them, don’t come back around. Maybe a routine or practice that helps you stay aligned?

A: I think it’s very ironic that you wrote “we’re all human” and I also used that phrase in the answer to my your last question – great minds think alike! Haha! But yes, there are things that you can do to make sure you are staying aligned with your goals. Through the Happiless Chokelist process I have a strategy I use for all of my Chokes in order to keep them from resurfacing and I teach this strategy to the reader. However, something I also do that is not in the book is my daily #metime. In order to stay on top of my life, business, relationships, etc. I make sure to spend quality time with ME, every single day. I have a morning routine that I do not skip, I also make sure to spend time doing the things that bring me joy and happiness, again, daily! No matter what the world is throwing at you, if you actively pursue doing something for your happiness every single day, you will be able to stay on top of the Chokes that want to sneak back into your life.

Q: The last time we met, you shared with me that you also struggle with self-sabotage, which is something my readers struggle with too. What ways do you self-sabotage and how have you managed them?

A: Self-sabotage is a struggle that many people deal with and it can be difficult to overcome this Choke because your internal dialogue is usually the culprit. I self-sabotage in the form of procrastination due to fear. When I find my fears creeping up, I stop all productivity. It’s kind of like I freeze and become paralyzed by fear. I manage this fear by talking it out with a coach, my boyfriend, another entrepreneur, or a friend. Many people hold these fears inside and psych themselves out, thinking that the fears are real. By speaking to people about it I am able to realize that the fears are not usually realistic and I can move past them. 

Q: During the Mastermind that we went to, we talked a lot about self-care and the importance of taking the time to fill yourself. And I know my readers have expressed to be their interested in learning more about self-care. Do you have any rituals or self-care practices that you like to incorporate in your life?

A: Like I mentioned before, I like to spend quality time with ME. My #metime is very important. Another self-care practice I incorporate in my life is to wake up before the sun. Yes, I know that sounds terrible to some; however, my early morning is Mine and I love it. My morning routine creates peace and quiet for me and grounds me. It causes my day to start on the right foot.

Q: Speaking of self-care, I’ve heard that your readers and clients call you the “Me Time Girl!” How did you become such a “Me Time” advocate?

A: I should read all of the questions before answering them haha! However, that just goes to show that this is SO TRUE! I am a huge advocate for #metime! When in doubt, do something for yourself. When you’re struggling, spend time in the quiet. When you are confused, pursue something for your soul. I’m not sure what initially prompted me to dedicate a huge part of my life to Me, but it could be partially because I was raised in a home with six kids. I felt like I didn’t have time to myself very often and would strive to find it – I guess I never stopped pursuing the quiet!

Q: Why do you feel like “Me Time” is so important for our daily routine?

A: Without #metime I am distracted, indecisive, and I tend to self-sabotage much more frequently. I take the time to ground myself so that I can move forward in all other areas of life. Some things I hear a lot: “I don’t have time for me time,” “I could never wake up earlier than I already do,” and “I don’t need that.” Okay, rethink this one: If you aren’t taking time for yourself, you will never be able to be the best you for anyone else. If you want to be there for your kids, spouse, family, and friends, then you should be taking time to reset, recharge, and recalibrate. You need to dedicate time to yourself in order to give time to others. You can make the time, you can wake up 5-10 minutes earlier, and you do need to start making time for you. Give it a try! 

Q: Were there any books, blogs, or podcasts that inspired change in your life and helped you become the person you are today?

A: I am a bookworm and I started my entire personal development and self-help career because of the books that I read. Some of my favorites: “Unshakeable” by Tony Robbins, “Grit” by Angela Duckworth, “High Performance Habits” by Brendon Burchard, “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek, and anything by Erwin McManus, Jen Sincero, or Rachel Hollis. Here are two of my favorite books that aren’t exactly self-help genre, but left an impression: “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed and “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am also in love with autobiographies! I read any and all autobiographies because you can learn something from everyone. Everyone has a story and knowledge to share. Hint: listen to these books! Most autobiographies are voiced by the author and make a much bigger impact because you can visualize them speaking to you. This is my go-to when going running or taking a long walk.

Q: If you could give any piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?

A: I would tell the younger me: Stop worrying so much. It’ll work out. The more you fret, the more distress you cause yourself. Go with your gut and stop thinking about all of the possible ways that you can fail – you won’t!

Manifestation

Q: After talking with you in our book club and at the Mastermind we went to, I learned that you’re also a believer in the Law of Attraction! You even had your own experience where your visualization from the last Mastermind event came true! Could you share your visualization story with Lost Online readers?

A: Yes, I have had success with visualization! I will say that I am still new to manifestation and meditation, but since I have seen what it can do, I have started practicing much more frequently, in all areas of life. My greatest success started when I went to a mastermind event in Tampa in July 2019. When we went through the visualization practice I had a “vision” that blew my mind. I had gone to the event thinking that it would help me with my business but I didn’t really know what to expect and I was open to all possibilities. Through this visualization practice I saw myself as a public speaker, specifically speaking about the book I had just written. When we finished the visualization practice I sat up and got so confused. Yes, I had wanted to write a book, but I had never known what I wanted it to be about. Plus, I had never thought about speaking about this future book in a public setting. My brain whirled and I realized the potential. I went home after that mastermind determined to make this happen. Four months later, my book was written, self-edited, and self-published. I then started booking speaking events. It is all very surreal to me, but I am definitely a believer in the law of attraction now!

Q: From reading your blog, I was able to learn about this new visualization from this Mastermind that you have for your life. Can you share about that epic adventure you want to take?

A: Yes! Four months after I went to the first mastermind event I had accomplished so much that I knew that I needed to attend the event again. Early this November 2019, I went back to this event without expectation and I knew that if I pressured my mind it wouldn’t give me what I wanted, which was another vision of what my life would become, of course. I went into the visualization with an open mind and no agenda. To my horror, I did not see a future filled with speaking events and networking, but I saw a season of relaxation and restoration. The meditation practice ended and I got so upset – I had not seen my business-building future than I wanted. After speaking with some fellow attendees, I realized that my visualization was not what I expected, but it was exactly what I needed. I had been going 200% for four months getting my book done and my body was ready for rest. My body and mind were telling me that I needed to pursue a long held dream of mine: to live in an RV and travel across the country. I saw myself pursuing my speaking career while living in an RV with my family. What’s crazy is that this has been a goal of ours for the last few years, but now, after the whole book-writing visualization, I now know that this is entirely possible, even within the next four months! What?! So cool!

Q: What does your visualization and manifestation practice look like at home?

A: Currently I am implementing daily meditation in my morning routine. I practice with scripted meditations which are centered around visualizations and manifesting your dreams. I try and do at least 10 minutes in the morning and then again in the evening, but I frequently do more than 10 minutes in the morning. Once I get started, I enjoy staying in that zone / mindset. I have also always journaled and I am starting to use journaling as a part of my manifestation practice.

Online

Q: At the very end of my interviews, I like to touch a bit on technology and social media since it’s such a big part of our lives and something that the vast majority of us struggle with. With our heavy social media and technology use today, have you ever felt pressure for likes, engagement, or recognition online? What has your experience been with social media?

A: I am on social media, but I do not enjoy it all the time. I do not necessarily feel pressured to gain likes and comments, rather I feel pressure to stay present on social media. Society tells us that we are “supposed to” be interactive on social media all the time, especially if you run an online business; however, that is not a requirement. I have had a positive experience on social media overall; I have learned how to balance social media in my life and business, which has been helpful.

Q: As a writer, blogger, virtual coach, YouTuber, and new author trying to build an influence, I’m sure most of your work has to be done in front of a screen. What do you do to create balance in your life when we spend so much time online now?

A: Balance takes time and commitment. I have learned how to take time away from social media every day and I make sure to take a whole day away from my phone once a week. Detaching from my phone and from social media is so rejuvenating. It takes time and commitment because we have been programmed to mindlessly scroll on social media. To avoid scrolling while working, I set a timer to get tasks done quickly. I like to chunk my tasks into small time frames to ensure I get them done quickly, especially when it comes to social media tasks.

Q: Before we head out, where can people find you? (IG, website, youtube, Amazon, etc.)

A: My book, Happiless Chokelist, can be found on Amazon. I am most active on Instagram @LauraJayLive; that’s where you’ll see me and my fur-babies most often! All of my social media links are in my Instagram bio! You can subscribe to my newsletters through my website, LauraJayLive.com! As well a YouTube, Facebook, or my Facebook Group.

Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

As always, thanks for coming to Lost Online and I hope you enjoyed this interview with Laura Juntunen, author of “Happliess Chokelist“! If you’re considering reading it yourself, I highly recommend it. I started reading it and found it super straight forward, entertaining, and easy to read.

Don’t forget to comment your thoughts below! What part of this interview stuck out the most to you? Did you resonate with anything Laura shared? Can you think of some “Chokes” that you already notice in your life that’s preventing you from following a dream or being happy? What are they? 

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that “+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online! 

Photos by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.

What it Really Means to be Healthy: Primary and Secondary Foods Explained

Health & Wellness, Lifestyle, Spirituality

I don’t know about you, but for years I feel like I’ve been on a mission to reach perfect health, whatever that means. I’ve bought countless supplements, eaten organic, tried tons of lifestyle changes, and bought a string of random products, but nothing has really changed. I wouldn’t say that now my apartment is filled with supplements and chemical-free products that I feel like I can give myself a gold star for just how wonderfully healthy I’ve become. I’d be willing to bet that you can’t either. No one can. So what does it really mean to be healthy? How do we know that we’ve figured it out? What advice, products, or changes really matter if we want to improve our health long term?

What does it mean to be healthy?

I learned a fun fact this week at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I learned that the word health comes from the old English word HALE meaning wholeness; being whole, sound, or well. The word and its meaning has changed over time and today health is defined by the World Health Organization as a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, not JUST the absence of disease. Therefore health is a dynamic concept, not a fixed outcome. 

Yet today we live in a society where organizations, companies, brands, celebrities, and influencers are always blasting information at us about how we SHOULD be. That’s how they make money and sell us products, diets, pills, and food that promise to help us reach the destination of perfect health. If we just follow their advice, buy the program, or purchase the pill, eventually shiny golden doors will open up and we’ll be welcomed into the land of perfect health. If we can only get there, then we’ll finally have flawless digestion, glowing skin, a tiny waist, a toned body, strong bones, luscious hair, and most importantly HAPPINESS. Right?

Sadly, that’s not how it works. I love my Sweet Sweat Waist Trimmer, my detox teas, my almond yogurt, but I know that they’re never going to bring me this fantasy that I have in my head of perfect health. Why? Because there is NO SUCH THING as perfect health.

Health is much more like a journey than a destination. (Ugh, I hate how cliche that sounds! Sorry!) It’s about making changes that improve your health and HAPPINESS in several areas of your life, not just about buying organic or sculpting a six-pack. 

The flawed outlook of health

We can go round and round all day about our flawed health care system, so I’m not going to address all of those major issues in this blog post. You’d be reading this post until the end of time, and we both have sh*t to do. But what I am going to talk about is ONE major issue that I see when we talk about health, and it’s that health is a destination with a specific path you take on how to get there. This path could be diets, exercise, detoxing, supplements, acupuncture, etc. It’s whatever YOU have been told what health should look like in your life. Maybe it’s never eating, or laying in a sensory deprivation tank every month, or drinking celery juice. 

There’s a very flawed approach to health today where people believe that if you just follow a specific set of rules you’ll be “healthy.” Then, to top off this crazy theory that health is a destination, we have magazines, social media accounts, and brands that put out these filtered, photoshopped images of fitness models, further adding to this illusion that there’s a magical land of sexy, healthy, superhuman, happy people who have it all figured out. 

Here’s the thing, not only is perfect health something that can’t be bought or accomplished through a set of rules and diets, BUT health is also NOT only about what you put in your stomach. It’s not about how much kale you eat, about how disciplined you are in avoiding sugar and dairy, or about taking supplements every day. Health is complete physical, mental, and social well-being.

The wiser approach to health and wellness

As a student at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and a future Integrative Health Coach, I’m learning about a newer, wiser approach to full body health and wellness, and you can’t buy it at Whole Foods. The idea that IIN and it’s founder, Joshua Rosenthal, share is that human beings are nurtured by both Primary Foods and Secondary Foods. Can you guess what they might be?

Primary Foods 

Upon first guess, you might think that Primary Foods are actual food right? At least I did. But it’s the opposite. Primary Foods are the most important things in our lives and impact our health far more than the chia seeds. Primary Foods are broken down into relationships, physical activity, career, and spirituality. If these things are out of whack in our lives then we’re far less healthy. We’re far more likely to have diseases and far less likely to have life satisfaction.

“Healthy relationships, regular physical activity, a fulfilling career, and a spiritual practice can fill your soul and satisfy your hunger for life.” – Joshua Rosenthal

Although it’s important to understand what people are eating, to find what works for their unique body, and to make improvements in those areas of their lives as well, all of that is secondary to the quality of people’s life. I’ve heard so many stories and studies from doctors and researches who have proved that how happy people are in their relationships determines how healthy they are and how long they live. People who have toxic relationships or a lonely, are much more susceptible to disease and have a much shorter life span. 

Side Note: If you’d like to learn about my absolute favorite study on this, check out this Ted talk video on the longest study that’s ever been conducted on happiness. This video is all about researchers have tracked the lives of 2 groups of men since 1938. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College, finished college during WWII, and most of which went off to serve in the war. The second group was a group of boys from one of Boston’s poorest neighborhoods. This group was specifically chosen because they were from some of the troubled and disadvantaged families in the 1930s.

This study has been going on for over 75 years and has studied the original men as well as all of their children and grandchildren they’ve brought in to the world. This study is extremely in-depth and goes as far as to interview the men on the phone and in their living rooms, examine their medical records, scan their brains, draw blood, interview family members. The research staff even goes as far as to videotape the men talking to their wives about their deepest concerns. It’s a very intensive study that’s closely examined these men for decades. What they’ve found after 75+ years of research later is this… Good relationships keep us happier AND healthier.

The hundreds of thousands of pages of research and the last 75+ years prove above all else that social connections are really good for us and that loneliness kills. The people who are more socially connected to family, friends, and community are happier, physically healthier, and live longer than the people who are less connected. Loneliness, on the other hand, turns out to be toxic. People who are less connected and more isolated than they want to be are less happy, their health declines earlier in mid-life, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives. If you have some time today, this is one of my all-time favorite Ted Talks and health studies that I’ve heard of and it’s definitely worth a watch.

1. Relationships

The first (and more important aspect of primary foods if you ask me) is our relationships. Relationships are the number one thing that feed us and have the largest impact on the quality of our lives. It doesn’t have to be a relationship between you and a partner. It includes your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. Anyone and everyone who is in your life and the quality of the relationship you have with them.

Today, these relationships are weaker due to social media and the internet. Technology has created the illusion that we’re connected and in a relationship with people, even though it’s through a screen. More and more we’re living isolated lives, and it used to not be like this. People once lived in multi-generational homes, lived in the same city their entire lives, and carried friends with them far into old age. Now it’s different. You may be “friends” with someone online, but never even speak to them in person. Those types of relationships don’t fill us up and make us happy and healthy.

Relationships are also in turmoil today as divorce rates increase. It’s become much more common to cut people out of our lives than to make it work and get past our differences. (Please don’t misinterpret this as me saying divorce isn’t justified). The other issue is that not only are people divorcing, but there are also many people who have very unhealthy or unhappy marriages and feel stuck in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling for them. 

If we really want to improve our overall healthy and longevity, it starts with the quality of relationships in our lives. It starts by either making more connection or improving the relationships that we have with family, friends, neighbors, in-law, and co-workers. It starts by making the effort to pick up your phone and call someone, starting couples therapy, or spending more quality time with each other.

2. Physical Activity

Of course, physical activity plays a large role in how healthy we are as we age. Having the right types of exercise in our daily lives that we actually enjoy doing is way more important than people realize. It’s not that we have to run X number of miles a day, do yoga, or do CrossFit. Just like the messages related to our overall health, we’re programmed to believe that we have to follow a specific program or reach a certain number of minutes of exercise each day.

In order to feel truly healthy, people have to slowly incorporate ways to stay active in their lives that work for them AND actually make them happy. If pilates isn’t your thing, don’t do it! Today, people may also be doing the wrong forms of exercise for their body. For example, many runners or weight lifters completely neglect stretching, while many yogis neglect cardiovascular exercise. In order to be healthy, you don’t have to follow specific rules and programs that promise to help you drop 30 pounds in 30 days, but instead slowly incorporate balanced forms of exercise that you actually LIKE doing. For example, getting a walk in each day, stretching before bed, doing a yoga class once a week, or doing InForm Fitness weekly.

3. Career 

Career is the next primary food that so many of us have neglected. We spend the majority of our live WORKING. We spend more time with our co-workers than our own family. We spend more time in an office chair than we do working on our hobbies. Our career feeds us way more than what we eat on our lunch breaks. I know when I was working a normal 9-5 job every other aspect of my life slowly deteriorated. I was so unhappy and exhausted that I didn’t have time to food prep and eat healthy, my relationships suffered drastically because of what little time and energy I had to give them, and I completely stopped exercising. If you’re miserable and stressed out for those 40+ hours a week, how can you possibly be healthy and flourish in your personal life? Those weeks take a toll on your overall physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Our careers really do feed our body and soul, and that’s why it’s important to either find work you love OR find ways to love the work you do. 

Side Note: As I write this at a coffee shop right now, I’m sitting next to a woman discussing with someone how miserable she is at her job. How it bores her and it doesn’t fill her up. “That kind of job didn’t develop me in a way that it should have after college,” she says. The girl with her is also sharing how unfulfilled she is at her job. Her exact words are, “I don’t feel fulfilled.”

Photo by Autumn Clark.

4. Spirituality 

This aspect of primary foods is also very important to our overall well-being, but at the same time it’s usually the first thing that people neglect. What I’ve been taught at IIN is that we need to have a spiritual practice. Having some kind of spiritual practice that fills up our soul and gives us hope and faith can make a drastic difference in our happiness. It doesn’t matter what your religious affiliation is or what the spiritual practice looks like. A spiritual practice could be going to church, praying, journaling, meditating, volunteer work, painting, or even hiking. It’s whatever works for you that makes you feel connected with a higher power and fills you up in that way. 

As Joshua Rosenthal shares in IIN, “we are spiritual beings in a material world.” The more congruity we have with who we are, how we represent ourselves, the career that we are working in, the more likely we are to achieve the outcome that we came here in this lifetime to achieve. That’s why when health is approached by looking at primary food and secondary food, the better off we are.

Secondary Foods

The secondary foods are the foods that we actually eat and that nourish our physical bodies. It’s not that these aren’t important, but they are secondary. Have you noticed that when you’re REALLY enjoying the work that you’re doing and you’re in a state of flow, time stops? The world around you melts away. You forget to go to the bathroom, drink water, or eat food? You’re enjoying yourself so much that someone has to remind you to eat dinner? When you’re having so much fun with friends you don’t want to stop and go get food. You’re being fulfilled and energized from those other aspects of your life that food becomes an afterthought. It’s why whenever I work on my writing or website, I forget to eat all day. Matt’s been trying to get me to eat lunch for months now!

However, there’s the opposite side of that. When people crave food it doesn’t happen by mistake. It means that something in your life is out of balance. It means that you’re not feeling fulfilled and you want food for comfort and to feel whole again. 

The other important aspect to understand about secondary foods is that each and every person has a completely unique body that has a unique set of needs. That’s why I get so infuriated when people get pushy about a specific diet or lifestyle they preach to others. Just because YOU personally eat a lot of ___(fill in the blank)___ or don’t eat ___(fill in the blank)___, doesn’t mean that other people have to. We all have a very unique bio-computer that maybe thrives when we eat fresh fruit and berries or closes our throat the moment we step into a room with blueberries. 

How does this relate to my philosophy?

I’ve always felt this way about health and nutrition. However, before starting at IIN, I didn’t have the words to express it. Lost Online is what I describe as a self-help, health and wellness blog, and I chose these categories because I believe the MIND and our MENTAL WELL-BEING override everything else when it comes to living a healthy life. That’s why I focus on the mind and what we can do to improve our lives in all areas and sprinkle in health and fitness through my posts. Because what matters more than how much chia seeds and kale you consume is how happy you are. 

How do we become healthy long term? 

You may be wondering, “What now? How do we become healthy?” Here’s how: 

1. Forget

Scratch the RULES that you have been force fed about health and wellness up to this point in your life. Understand the fact that we are fed more by our Primary Foods than what you put in your grocery cart. Understand that in order to achieve whole body wellness, you have to improve every area of your life – this might involve you being brave and taking leaps that terrify you short term, but would fulfill you in the long term. 

2. Identify 

Identify the areas of your life that need improvement. Write down each primary food group and secondary food and what aspects in each category you’re struggling with. For example, in relationships are you struggling to meet friends as an adult, do you have a strenuous relationship with someone, is there someone you don’t have a relationship with that you wish you did? In a way, you have to play your own therapist here, determine the areas of your life that aren’t filling you up in the way you need to flourish. 

3. Take action… but think small 

The biggest mistake that people make over and over again is that they want to change, but they try to do it drastically. They want to eat healthy, so they go vegan in one day. They want to lose weight so they cut their calories in half or exercise for two hours a day. They want to be more spiritual, so they buy 10 spirituality books on Amazon in one sitting. Do you see what I mean? We try to take giant leaps, but we don’t work that way. It’s too drastic of a change, so we’ll instantly revert back to how we used to be. If you want to change your life in any of these areas, make ONE change at a time. Setting drastic and unrealistic expectations of yourself is a sure way to fail. People learn and change their behaviors through slow and simple lifestyle changes. 

You might still be thinking, “WHAT DO I DO, HEATHER?!” 

Because we’re so used to people beating specifics into our head when it comes to wellness, hearing information that’s more broad might be difficult for you. We’re used to being told that we have to eat X amount of calories or do X number of reps. Here’s the thing: YOU know what you need to do. You know what changes you should be making in your life. I can’t make that decision for you. You know whether you need to go network with someone, meditate daily, call up a friend, cut out potato chips, start taking a supplement, see a therapist, quit the job, stop drinking a six pack of soda daily, put yourself out there, join a club, buy a program, go to church, etc. I guarantee you have some idea of a step that you know you need to be doing. If you realize that these areas in your life are still struggling, that you need more direction, then please reach out to me personally. 

Takeaway

My goal with this post is to help you understand that full-body health and wellness is about much more than what supplements you’re on and what you put on your plate. It’s also about the primary foods: relationships, career, spirituality, and physical activity. Only when you address and make improvements to each of these areas will you really come alive and be able to reach your potential. So scratch whatever diet you think you should be on right now. Dig deeper into all the aspects of your life and make small improvements. If you need help along the way, I’m always here to answer your questions. 

As always, thank you for coming to Lost Online and let me know what you think in the comments. Have you heard of Joshua Rosenthal’s idea of Primary Foods and Secondary Foods before? Do you believe that we are fed more by Primary Foods? Why yes or no? What areas have you found that you need to make adjustments to in order to feel happier and healthier? What steps will you make to improve?

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that”+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photos Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.

The Start of a New Chapter: Why I’m Studying to Become a Certified Health Coach

Announcements, Health & Wellness

Hello friends, followers, readers, and subscribers! Today I wanted to come to Lost Online to make an announcement. I’m officially a student with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) studying and training to receive my health coaching certification!

It was over a year ago that I first learned of IIN from someone I had met at a coffee shop in St. Augustine. He told me all about this program he had been a part of for months and how it had completely transformed his life. The program caused improvements in each and every area of his life from his relationships to nutrition. Since then, IIN has been popping up in conversations, podcasts, and social media posts since I spoke with him.

The thought of potentially starting the program continued to keep me up at night and distracted me during the day. With my message about full body health and wellness on Lost Online, I felt called to learn more and finally receive proper education and training on how we can live well during the modern age, and how I can coach people through their own wellness journey.

I’m so excited to embark on this new chapter and learn more from the most accomplished people in the health and wellness industry. You’ll be getting tons more content from me as I explore health-related topics at IIN. Before you start hearing more about the institute in future posts, I first wanted to explain what IIN is, how it relates to my message on Lost Online, and why I decided to pursue health coaching for those of you who are curious.

Thank you for your support on this new endeavor and I can’t wait to take you along with me!

So, What is The Institute for Integrative Nutrition?

IIN is the world’s largest nutrition school that teaches its students unique education theories. While the rest of the health care system in America continues to keep us sick and unhealthy by treating symptoms rather than the cause of dis-ease in the body, IIN is way ahead of its time. Rather the school teaches the importance of getting to the root of “dis-ease” — some misalignment in the body that manifests as sickness and improving our health through the mind, body, and spirit.

The school was created by Joshua Rosenthal, a pioneer and visionary in holistic health and wellness. He built IIN after he realized that people’s health is determined not by how many supplements and wheatgrass shots they take, but by their quality of life. Our mind, body, and spirits are fed mainly by what Joshua refers to as “Primary Food,” which is broken down into relationships, spirituality, career, and physical activity. “Secondary Food,” is the actual food on your plate. If you’re not convinced just think: when all those other areas of Primary Food are thriving in our lives, we are far less likely to rely on the food we eat. When those areas are struggling we binge, we look to food for comfort, and cravings manifest. Primary Food actually overrides Secondary Foods in many ways.

The program is also built around the idea that the body knows how to heal itself (given half a chance) – but we don’t allow it to. We overwork ourselves, feed the body the wrong foods, abandon our dreams, stay in bad relationships, take prescription drugs, stop our spiritual practice, etc…and then wonder why we’re so sick, bloated, stressed out, and unhealthy. The body is the most intelligent computer in the world. If we just take care of it, the body knows how to heal itself. If we just stop treating symptoms and start treating the real cause of “dis-ease” in the body, and it may surprise you how often the diseases are mental and emotional.

The one other central theme of IIN is that it teaches another way to look at “biodiversity.” At IIN, biodiversity is the idea that each and every one of us has a unique body with a unique diet and lifestyle needs. One man’s food or medicine is another man’s poison. Yet there’s a brand new diet coming out each year or a brand new exercise program that promises that it’s perfect for each and every one of us. However, health doesn’t work like that. No two people are the same and therefore their nutrition and lifestyle can’t be identical either.

IIN teaches that in order to have full body vitality, people have to make small changes to improve each of those aspects of their lives in a way that works for them. Otherwise, stress and inflammation linger in the body, and symptoms and diseases develop.

Why is this important?

The reason why this is so important is because we currently have a disease management system in America, NOT a health system. What’s worse is that most of the diseases we try to manage are 100% preventable – they could have completely been avoided with lifestyle changes. Unfortunately, prevention doesn’t make money – sickness, pills, and hospital bills do.

We live in a country where the food system pays NO attention to health, the health systems pay NO attention to food, and the education system pays NO attention to wellness. We’re turning a blind eye to the fact that the health of our bodies and our minds are connected AND that disease can be preventable through living a holistic lifestyle.

Consequently, we’re going through a global health crisis. Access to healthy, organic foods is limited to the small percentage of people who can afford them, while fast food and products filled with sugar (specifically to make us addicted) fill up grocery store aisles, our home, and our bodies. More people are obese and sick than ever.

Now we can point fingers at our government, the health care system, the food industry, and the pharmaceutical companies all day, but that’s not going to get us anywhere. Those entities have enormous amounts of money and power to make sure that their interests won’t be compromised. The only way to change this is through a grassroots movement. Through regular people like you and me going out and learning about full body health and wellness and incorporating it into our lives. Through learning about things like meditation, spiritual practices, biodiversity, healthy eating, stress management, supportive relationships, and more. Eventually, if enough people start taking this approach to full body wellness and making changes, everything else will come behind it. But that won’t happen unless the majority gets on board and starts taking integrative nutrition seriously.

How does it relate to Lost Online?

When people ask me what my blog is about, I always tell that it’s about self-help, health, and wellness. I always say self-help first because I believe that our mental health and mindset are just as important, if not more important than how often you go to the gym or how wonderful you are at getting enough greens.

The most impactful moments of my life came when there was a shift in my mentality, when I felt better about myself, my situation, and the world around me. Once I was feeling better mentally and emotionally and in my work, spirituality, and relationships, my food and nutrition seemed to follow without much effort.

Self-help (no matter how you choose to practice it) is just as important as your diet and lifestyle, in my opinion. That’s why my content revolves highly around self-help with health and wellness sprinkled in. I’ve always felt this way, but until starting at IIN, I didn’t have the language to relay my message accurately. I didn’t know vocabulary like primary foods, secondary food, the circle of life, and grassroots movements to help explain it.

Why I’m becoming a health coach?

I’ve wanted to go into health and wellness since I worked on a smoke- and tobacco-free policy at my college, but I wasn’t sure how to do it. I knew that I was passionate about inspiring others to live a healthy and happy life, but until now I thought the only way I could do it was through sharing content or getting a very traditional job in health care.

Through this program, I’ll be learning how to coach others who wish to feel better every day. I’ll have the tools and the training to help my future clients – and readers – so they reach their potential and not be held back by a foggy mind, anxiety, toxic relationships, or uncomfortable symptoms.

Why? Because I believe that we all are here today walking around in human form because we have a purpose. We were put on this planet to do more than pay bills and make babies. We came here because we all have work to do. We all have special gifts and something spectacular to offer the world. Maybe you want to design clothes made from recycled water bottles, maybe you want to end human trafficking, or create music, or discover the cure to cancer – you can’t do that or function at your best if your primary and secondary foods are lacking.

I realized the power of meditation, self-help, spiritual practices, and lifestyle changes in my own life, and it’s been my passion to help others see those changes for themselves so they can flourish into the best versions of themselves that they can be.

Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

I hope you enjoyed this post and my special announcement! I’m so looking forward to finally receiving an education in health and wellness beyond those uncomfortable health classes I used to take in school (which, let’s be honest, mainly focused on STD and teen pregnancy). I’m excited to finally learn more about how the health of the mind and body are intimately linked and how I can better help others who would like to feel healthy, happy, fulfilled, and vibrant. Stayed tuned for tons of fresh self-help, nutrition, and wellness content!

As always, let me know what you think in the comments! Have you heard of IIN? Do you believe in Joshua’s theory that we are fed more by Primary Foods than Secondary Foods? Have you seen this in your own life? How do you think we can change the health care system and food industry together?

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that “+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photo by Whitnie Williams @whitawill.