My Entire Rhinoplasty Recovery: Graphic Photos, Daily Notes, Post-Op Visits, Warnings, Advice, & More

Beauty

Warning: This article is meant for people who are very curious about getting a rhinoplasty done and want to know about all of the uncomfortable details of the recovery process. This post is not sugar coated in any way. I’m NOT going to be holding back any information. I’m going to be sharing intimate details about my recovery. You should also know that all of the photos I’m about to share were taken two days after my surgery. If you do not think you can handle viewing images of the recovery from a surgical procedure, please click away. This is the honest truth about what it’s like getting a rhinoplasty.

Hello again, and welcome back to the second blog post in my series all about me getting a rhinoplasty.

In my first blog post about my procedure, I shared with you all of the reasons why I was going under the knife and getting my nose done. If you haven’t read that one yet, check out “Announcement: I’m Getting a Nose Job + Why I’m Getting It Done & What’s to Come.”

This blog post is going to be all about what you’re most curious about: RECOVERY! In this post I’m going to share what it was like throughout each stage of my recovery including: 

  • Immediately after my surgery
  • What supplements and pills I had to take
  • How I had to clean my nose
  • Daily updates for the initial 2 weeks
  • Details about Post-Op visits with my surgeon
  • Updates throughout each week of recovery up to 6 weeks
  • What products helped me through my recovery
  • Update about my nose 3 months and 4 months Post-Op
  • My takeaways from the recovery process

The third post in this series will be all about my results, whether or not I’m happy with my new nose, and a review of my plastic surgeon – Dr. Dean Davis of Davis Facial Plastic Surgery. This post will be coming about approximately 6 months after getting my surgery done on September 9th.

Lastly, I would LOVE to do a rhinoplasty Q&A just like I did with your Microblading questions to cover anything that I might have missed in this post. So send me your questions through email or Instagram and I will answer all of them!

It’s Happening! Preparing for Surgery

It’s finally freaking happening. The week has been creeping up closer and closer to when I would get my surgery done, and it crept up on me way faster than I thought it would. When I first booked my surgery for Sept. 9, 2019, it seemed like a lifetime away. But each week when I would look at my calendar last August, I was shocked at how close the date had been sneaking up on me. Matt and I had been so preoccupied with house hunting, that I had forgotten that this day was just around the corner!

At this point, it’s less than a week away from my surgery and it’s time to get ready! It’s time to start taking the supplements the surgeon gave me, pick up my prescriptions, run errands to get everything the surgeon recommended, and stock up on a whole bunch of soft foods and protein shakes. Matt made sure to get the week off during my surgery, and we’re repeatedly going over the times we have to leave for the surgery, what pills I have to take (and when), what time my surgery ends, and what times my post-op appointments are. It’s as if we’re doing some sort of emergency evacuation drill, preparing for a hurricane, or trying to escape prison. Every day we frantically go over the dates, times, and plans with each other as if our lives depended on it.

We must have read the list of instructions that the surgeon gave me a dozen times. Recovery instructions include things like: 

  • “Discontinue any vitamins, herbal, or dietary supplements”
  • “Discontinue use of aspirin, Advil, Aleve, Motrin, ibuprofen…If you need something for discomfort, you may take Tylenol”
  • “Do not remove dressing over your nose after surgery” 
  • “Do not wear glasses for 6 weeks following surgery”
  • “You are restricted from all exercising or any activity that elevates your heart rate for 6 weeks”
  • “Brush your teeth with a small child-size toothbrush to minimize mouth movement”

Most Important Post-Op Care Instructions

  1. To prevent crusting or discomfort, apply saline nasal spray and polysporin to your nostrils 4-5 times a day to keep the area moist and comfortable. First, use 2-3 squirts of saline spray in each nostril. Then, apply the polysporin around the inside of your nostrils and across any external nasal incision lines using a Q-tip. Continue this process until advised otherwise. 
  2. If you see any crusting or dried blood along the incision line, roll a Q-tip saturated with hydrogen peroxide over the incision line until clean, then roll a dry Q-tip over the incision line until dry. Apply polysporin after. You do not want a scab to form on the incision line which could widen the incision or scar line. You will probably only need to do this for a few days after surgery. (Dr. Davis instructed me to use the polysporin for as long as I can to prevent the scarring).
  3. Use an eye pack for the first 48 hours following surgery for 15-20 minutes every waking hour (Dr. Davis said I should be doing this as much as I can, even after the initial 48 hours).
  4. When sleeping keep at a 45-degree angle on at least 2-3 pillows for 6 weeks following the procedure.
  5. Do absolutely nothing but rest and recover during the first 2 weeks.
  6. No exercising, walking, or elevating heart rate for 6 weeks after surgery.
  7. Take your medications and supplements as directed on the bottle until finished unless otherwise instructed.
  8. Do not sneeze through your nose or blow your nose.

Pre-Op Shopping List

  • VitaMedica Recovery Support purchased from surgeon’s office includes Morning and Evening Formula, Bromaline, Arnica, and Probiotic
  • Prescription Medications: Valium, Hydrocodone, Antibiotic, Steroid
  • Gel eye mask
  • Saline nasal spray
  • Polysporin
  • Hydrogen Peroxide
  • Q-tips & Tissue
  • Child sized toothbrush
  • Soft foods & protein shakes
  • Neck pillow
  • Gauze
  • Straws

Supplement & Medication Instructions

  • Steroid pack – lasts 6 days and it has the instructions on it
  • Hydrocodone and Valium – Take as needed
  • Antibiotic – Morning, Noon, Night
  • Bromelain – 2 pills 3 times a day
  • Morning Formula Supplement – 3 pills once a day
  • Evening Formula Supplement -3 pills once a day
  • Arnica – 3 tablets 3 times a day, let dissolve under your tongue

Other than all of the errands I have to do to prepare for this surgery, one thing that I also have to do to prepare is go to Davis Facial Plastic Surgery to get a dermal infusion facial done. Apparently I’m also not able to get my face wet for 2 weeks after surgery! The facial is meant to make my skin super clean and cleared out before the surgery and also to limit the breakouts and blackheads the are going to appear during the recovery process with tape on my face for those 2 weeks. The thought of not washing my face for that long is giving me anxiety.

As you could probably imagine, I’m super nervous and terrified about recovery. One of the main reasons I’m so nervous is that I’m scared about getting botched! Which I know is an incredibly irrational fear because my surgeon has done so many thousands and thousands of nose jobs in his life he could do my nose in his sleep. But still, I can’t help but wonder, “What if I’m the one person whose face gets messed up? What if it turns out worse than it was before?”

I’m also nervous about how no one yet knows that I’m getting this procedure, including my family. If you read my blog post, “Put it in the Suggestion Box: I Need an Advice Detox,” I’m sure you understand why. I’ve only told a select few people who are very supportive of me and my decisions. I knew that if I told anyone who is against plastic surgery, I was going to be harassed with fantasies about all of the ways I’m going to die or get botched during the surgery. So I was very selective about who I share this decision with.

All week my mind has been wandering thinking about all of these crazy situations that could happen where my face gets screwed up, or I end up in the hospital from a complication, or I get disowned from my family. It’s been rather unpleasant. Matt has to keep reminding me every day that it’s going to be ok…

The Day Of

The morning of my surgery was scary and nerve-wracking to say the least. We spent about an hour in the waiting room until I was finally called back for pre-op. As you can imagine I had to get undressed, change into hospital gowns, put on an IV, fill out a bunch of forms, etc. I sat there the whole time filled with anxiety.

One of the nurses asked how I was doing and I shared how I felt with her and my fears of making the wrong decision and getting “botched.” 

“Don’t be,” she said to me. “Dr. Davis is amazing at what he does. I’m getting my nose done by him next week.” And just like that I started to relax a bit.

Matt was finally allowed to see me before I went under the knife. He spent the time staring at me, smiling (mostly out of nerves) and holding my hand. Dr. Davis eventually got to the surgery center and came to see me. He told me how confident he felt about the procedure and that everything was going to be fantastic. I also remember feeling so happy that Matt got to meet him beforehand, because at this point I had already seen Dr. Davis several different times, but wanted them to meet. I remember that it seemed weird that I was getting surgery from a doctor Matt hadn’t yet met, so their meeting helped ease my mind too.

The anesthesiologist then came over and talked to me for a while and told me stories about his life, before it was eventually time into the surgery room. I said goodbye to Matt and laid on the hospital bed as they rolled me back to the room. The next several minutes they spent some time getting me ready for the surgery by putting warm blankets on me and moving me onto another bed/table where I would get the surgery would be performed.

When it was time to begin, I hadn’t even seen Dr. Davis again. The anesthesiologist stood by me and said, “You know what happened to the last guy I did this too?” “What,” I said. “He fell asleep,” he said back to me. I faked a laugh and right as I did I turned my head to the side of the room where I saw a bunch of photos of my face taped to the wall. On one side were my before pictures, and on the other were the photos of what I would look like post recovery. In those 2.5 seconds I was out. 

The Beginning of Recovery

I woke up from surgery in what felt exactly like one second later. The first thing I saw was Matt’s face. I hadn’t even realized that I had the surgery. I looked at him and muttered something along the lines of “How the hell did you get back here? You’re not supposed to be back here.” I then proceeded to only call him by his last name and kept telling the nurse that they had to watch out for him because he was “sneaky.” That’s what I remember, but apparently that’s not all that happened.

Apparently I had been awake for AWHILE. I was cranky, super mean and acting drunk as I normally am after waking up from surgery. (From now on I should start warning people about that.) Matt told me how I cursed a lot, was super angry, cranky and impatient, and apparently had a whole conversation with Dr. Davis that I don’t remember. Dr. Davis told me at most post-op appointments that he eventually just left because I was “being fussy.”

Also after waking up from surgery, I only wanted to touch the area that was operated on which meant the nurses and whoever I was with had to hold my arms down to stop me from accidentally hurting myself. That happened too. A lot happened that I don’t remember and I think that’s probably a good thing…

What I do remember is that afterward I was a giant pain for everyone there. The nurse taught Matt how to apply gauze to my face which I was supposed to use for about a week after surgery. The gauze should be applied under the nose because after surgery it’s normal for blood and snot to come out. 

Eventually Matt had to help me get dressed and take me to the bathroom, and it was time to drive home.

Day 1 Notes: 

  • I took a Valium and passed out for an hour or two after we got home which is what the nurses and doctor told me to do. They said it was best that I just relax and fall asleep.
  • I experienced no pain or discomfort until around 3 p.m. I started with having an awareness of the area for several hours before the discomfit started.
  • I’m starting to notice bruising starting around eyes. 
  • My upper teeth are kind of aching.
  • I’m experiencing lots of blood running out of my nose. (Dr. Davis told me before the surgery that he makes it so that any gunk or blood comes OUT the nostrils as opposed to going down your throat and into your stomach. That way the nose looks during recovery will then look better and you’ll feel better.)
  • It’s like I’m experiencing a slight drip of blood all day long from my nose.
  • I’m extremely nervous about my stitch and potential scarring.
  • Matt has been cleaning it with peroxide and ointment each time to it to keep it clean and moist. We’re doing the peroxide, saline, and ointment at the same time to make it easy.
  • Dr. Davis called at 4 p.m. to check on me – He shared with me that the same nerve from inside of nose also runs to the bridge of the mouth and near the teeth. It’s normal or have pain there. He said it’s similar to people who have a heart attack and continue to feel pain in the left arm. There’s nothing causing pain in that area, but the nerve is still there.
  • At night time I didn’t sleep well at all. You have to breathe through the mouth so your mouth dries out very quickly and it would constantly wake me up every 20-30 minutes.
  • I went through tons of water at night.
  • I accidentally stabbed myself in the stitch with the metal straws I’m using to drink water. I can only drink through a straw.
  • It constantly feels like my nose is running, even if nothing is coming out.

Day 2 Notes:

  • Eye bruising is much worse than yesterday. It’s very purple.
  • Starting steroid as directed.
  • I’ve been taking pain meds before I absolutely need them to prevent the pain. I’m afraid if I wait until the pain starts I won’t be able to get out of it.
  • I’m very nervous about Day 2. The nurse and surgeon warned me that days 2 & 3 would not be as easy as Day 1.
  • Nose looks more swollen underneath bandages.
  • Afternoon: Nose swelling has gone down a bit.
  • Eyes are very swollen and can only open up slightly. I’ve been icing eyes constantly since I got home from surgery.
  • The skin around my eyes is extremely red, especially in the areas I’ve been tearing up which has also caused it to get crusty.
  • Matt has been super on top of cleaning my nose, even when I’m not in the mood to do it at all.
  • My nose is throbbing a little bit.
  • I took pain pills slightly early when I started to feel pain coming on.
  • Nose is still dripping blood, so I started to keep Q-tips right next to bed so I can gently remove blood drips when I feel it.
  • Evening: went to sleep and woke up with discomfort and nose throbbing. Slight pain, but not unbearable.

Day 3 Notes:

  • This morning I’m especially nervous. I was told that day 3 could be the worst day of recovery.
  • I have a slight throbbing in my nose once it gets closer to the time when I can take more medication.
  • I spend most of the day napping ever since I came home from surgery.
  • Ray came over to take pictures of me during recovery. It was super nice seeing him and being able to talk to someone in between this. Matt and Ray talk about how impressed they are by how well I’m doing.
  • I don’t really need to have the gauze under nose anymore but I do prefer it just in case. I still have some drops of blood coming out of nose and I always have Q-tips nearby to gently get the drops off.
  • My eyes are more open than they were yesterday.
  • The tickle sensation in my nose is the worst part. It happened 3 times today where I had such an intense tickle in my nose and I felt like I had to sneeze but I couldn’t. You’re allowed to sneeze through mouth but I was so nervous to sneeze wrong that it prevented me from sneezing through my mouth and the tickle sensation kept happening. 
  • I’m eating much more today than other days which is good because I have to get as much food in my stomach as possible for all the pills I need to take.
  • Eating is very hard without being able to breathe through your nose! Thank goodness for Ripple protein shakes. They taste absolutely amazing and I’ve been practically living off of them.
  • I spoke with Dr. Davis again today and had a conversation about the pain medication. I was so terrified that it would feel like my face was run over by a car that I was taking my hydrocodone preventatively (which is apparently NOT what you’re supposed to do)!
  • My bruising is going down around my eyes but my eyelids are still very red and sensitive.
  • My eyes can now open all the way, but my eyelids are still very swollen. Icing my eyes is the only thing that makes them feel better.
  • I decided to go to sleep without gauze under nose tonight to feel a little bit more normal.
  • The past three days I keep saying that I can’t believe I got a nose job. Being in recovery feels surreal and I’m oddly proud of myself for making it through the first few days and having gotten the procedure I’ve been telling myself I wanted for years. 

Day 4 Notes:

  • This morning I woke up with a lot of discomfort and I’m trying to not take as many pain medications after talking with Dr. Davis. I didn’t sleep well at all because it’s very hard to feel comfortable with all of this going on.
  • Luckily, I did wake up with less bruising around my eyes. 
  • I keep icing my eyes and resting in bed, but still felt horrible. I finally took a hydrocodone and Valium and feel better.
  • There’s lots of dripping out of my nose, so much that I’m constantly reaching for a Q-tip. I mean constantly. It never lets up.
  • I’m looking slightly more like myself today and less like I’ve been beat up.
  • This is the first day that Matt is at work since the surgery which means I’m all alone! But luckily I mostly rest and can handle cleaning my nose or getting up to grab some food or a gel eye mask. I am a bit nervous about being home alone though.
  • My eyelids are very sensitive today, so much that even if I gently itch my eyelid it hurts a lot.
  • I switched to extra strength Tylenol today instead of my prescription and was fine.
  • I’m dying to see what my nose like but the only part of my nose that I can sort of tell what it looks like are my nostrils which look much smaller than before. 
  • I spend basically all of my time sleeping or eating so that I could take all these supplements and pills.
  • I’ve been extremely constipated from the pain killer I was talking and started to use Miralax which has finally helped today. I was extremely stopped up and bloated and of course started entertaining how I was going to end up dying or in the hospital because of it. 
  • I slept so poorly over the last several days because of how uncomfortable I’ve been that I keep yawning which stretches out my nostrils and hurts my nose, especially around the stitch.
  • I’m starting to have more blood dripping and getting even more snotty than I was before. I had to put gauze under nose again.
  • The bruises under eyes are turning yellow, but eyelids are still red.
  • I keep having that strong tickling feeling happening in my nose and ended up having sneezing fits which luckily didn’t hurt. 

If there is one thing that I would tell anyone who’s going to get a rhinoplasty or is thinking about it, it’s to be EXTREMELY CAREFUL when reaching for your face. It’s day four and I’ve accidentally tapped or bumped my nose at least 12 times already (very lightly, and not hard enough to mess up my nose, but still… that’s sh*t hurts) during recovering from a nose job it’s as if you have no spacial awareness of your face. You’ll scratch your lip and accidentally bump the tip of your nose. You’ll put a straw to your nose and stab your nose with it. You’ll wipe a tear from your eye and hit your nose. I have no idea why it’s happening or what’s going on, but it’s as if I’ve lost all sense of where my nose is located on my face. Part of me thinks it’s because most of my face is numb, especially after taking Valium and hydrocodone, but it happens even when I’m not taking those things.

If there’s one thing I have to remember it’s to move extremely slowly and carefully around my face to make sure that I go to whatever it is I’m … aiming for. 

Day 5 Notes:

  • I have been very restless and uncomfortable at night. I couldn’t sleep at all and when I did, I had bizarre dreams about saving six kittens and also going to my appointment the next day to find out that my surgeon made my nose BIGGER!
  • The stitches inside the nose have been hurting. When they do hurt it feels like a sharp pain, not horribly painful but it definitely doesn’t feel good! 

Post-Op Appointment Notes: I went to Davis Facial Plastic Surgery for my post-op appointment today so the doctor can check up on how I was doing, remove my bandage, and clean my nose. Dr. Davis was very happy with how I was recovering and how each part of my nose was healing.

He said it’s normal to have more swelling and sensitivity at the tip right after surgery, which is why a lot of people think they’re nose looks bigger than before, but he assured me that it will go down.

From what I can tell after he removed my bandages, my nose is finally smooth and straight and I don’t have those odd shadows casting on the cartilage in my nose. It’s straighter for sure!

Dr. Davis also cleaned out the inside of my nose with a machine that suctions out the snot and blood, trimmed the stitches that were sticking out, and removed the nasal stents (which I didn’t get to see because I was in pain). Apparently they were super big and gnarly. According to Matt they were several inches long, completely covered in snot and blood, and look like they were also filled with liquid. I will literally never forget the look of horror that I saw on his face when I opened my eyes. I wish I had a picture of him!

The only thing the doctor was kind of bummed about was the amount of bruising that I have. Apparently I have more bruising than most of his patients which he said is a point of pride for him that his patients have very minimal bruising. But look at me… I’m as white as a ghost, so I don’t think he should beat himself up about that.

After that, Dr. Davis cleaned the top of my nose, showed it to me in a mirror and then covered it with a neutral colored tape very strategically. The way he applies tape is meant to prevent swelling in the upper parts of the nose and instead direct any swelling to the tissue at the tip of the nose.

  • My deviated septum has been corrected and is healing nicely. 
  • He let us know that we were doing everything right and Matt was doing a FABULOUS job cleaning my stitches for me (he has to do it because I couldn’t get up in there).
  • I should come back in 6 days for another post-op appointment where the doctor will clean my nose out again.
  • Now that I have the stents out and bandages removed, I will probably be getting extra snotty.

Day 5 Notes Continued: 

  • Recovery hasn’t been super comfortable up until now but I’m very surprised at how well it’s going. I’ve been able to get up and do more today. It’s nice to not be on bed rest anymore.
  • Experiencing an extremely stuffy and runny nose, which sucks because I learned that I won’t be able to blow my nose for 3-4 weeks! Blowing my nose could mess up the cartilage and undo all of the work from surgery and cause asymmetry. This part is driving me crazy and feels super gross, especially because there’s usually blood mixed in with it. It’s such a gross feeling to have all of that going on and not be able to blow your nose and get rid of that uncomfortable feeling. 
  • Stitches are uncomfortable probably because Dr. Davis was pretty rough with them.
  • Recovery is starting to feel more rough than previous days because I’m not spending all day sleeping.
  • Experiencing constipation from pain pills.
  • The stitches hurt and my face aches a bit.
  • I really want to do to sleep but I’m having a hard time.

Day 6 Notes:

  • Today, I woke up extremely early and haven’t been able to fall back asleep, just like all the other mornings since the surgery.
  • I’m extremely stuffy and blood is still coming out. Finally I had to stuff pieces of tissues up my nostrils so I didn’t have to constantly wipe my nose.
  • Still constipated from the pain pills.
  • The redness around my eyes has started fading but underneath it, my eyes are still very yellow from the bruising. 
  • The bandges are gone and I only have tape on my nose. It’s very hard to tell what my nose will look like so that’s been frustrating me. 
  • Finally went to the bathroom, cue the confetti.
  • My nose is running CONSTANTLY. It’s also super stuffy that I can’t breathe. It’s a really crappy feeling because it’s like having a sinus infection but being forbidden to blow your nose. Make it stop!!!
  • Lucky for me even though I still feel gross and have tape on my face, I’m feeling more like myself again and had the energy to write all day.
  • I took Tylenol in the morning but then never had to take it again. But at 3:30 pm, Matt made me laugh hard three separate times (which he knows he shouldn’t be  doing). Whenever I smile or laugh I have to sort of hold my nostrils closer together to limit stretching of the stitches and it hurts pretty bad.
  • I finally called Dr. Davis to ask about facial expressions. I’m a HUGE worrier and was afraid that having laughed and smiled I would somehow offset my nose and screw up my recovery. He assured me that I wouldn’t. Dr. Davis also told me that the tip of the nose where the stitches are will be sensitive for a while so it’s normal for it to be painful right now. He also told me that the tip of the nose will be harder for 3-4 months after the surgery while it’s still healing. Because of this, many patients say that smiling feels weird to them even months afterwards, and say that it feels like there’s something different going on with their upper lip.
  • As far as my nose being crazy stuffy and runny, Dr. Davis told me that in surgery he makes it so that everything comes OUT of your nose as opposed to going down your throat. Unfortunately, it feels like I’m drowning in snot. I’ve been using Q-tips to wipe away whatever is coming out of my nostrils and clean inside a little bit (which I’m not actually supposed to do). I shouldn’t be putting anything up my nose, but I’m being careful to be super gentle. It’s the only thing I can do to make it feel somewhat clean and less gross.

Day 7 Notes:

  • Last night, I woke up at least 6 times with an extremely dry throat from breathing through my mouth. In the morning, I accidentally woke up on my right side even though I was still elevated. I should be laying completely flat on my back so that one side doesn’t swell up more than the other and offset the cartilage and cause me to have a crooked nose. It’s extremely hard to do when I only sleep on my side or on my stomach. 
  • The stitches are hurting.
  • I tried to clean the snot out of my nose which only made my nose hurt even worse, so I’m taking Tylenol today.
  • The bruising around eyes is getting better, especially the parts that were super red.
  • I can’t get any air through my right nostril which is causing me to have constant  unrealistic fears I won’t ever be able to breathe through it.
  • I’m also having fears my nose is still big, which Dr. Davis warned me I would worry about because the swelling makes the nose look so much bigger. Right now, I’m mostly concerned about profile, and whether that’s still too big. I constantly find myself going to the bathroom to examine my nose and try to make out the size under the tape.
  • I much prefer the day right after the surgery when I was just drugged up and sleeping to this stage of the recovery when I’m up and about, feeling gross all day, and panicking about the outcome.
  • There’s been less dripping and grossness compared to yesterday and the stitches don’t hurt AS bad.
  • The biggest problem right now to me is how much I just want to move my freaking body. I’ve been on bed rest all week and it’s getting SO old. There’s really nothing I can do but stay home and rest. I wish so badly to just stretch or go for a walk. But stretching would cause blood to rush to my face (which could ruin my results) and walking would raise my heart rate (which could also ruin the results).
  • I also can’t breathe through my nose when I’m eating so I always have to catch my breath after swallowing something. Whenever I eat I feel like Mac on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” when he’s wheezing and eating at the same time.
  • The dissolvable stitches on the tip of my nose seem to be sticking out more. 

I also wanted to share that this week I’ve been having lots of feelings of being so ugly and so hideous from recovery that I spent all week thinking of every possible way I could make myself feel pretty after surgery. Looking like a zombie has me thinking that I need to shop for clothes, get botox injections, get a personal trainer, get fillers, do a boudoir shoot, etc.. This recovery has escalated all of my insecurities this week and made them so much worse. I’m finding that I’m more critical of my body than I ever have been and hyper focused on how to look better.

This is something that my friend who had a rhinoplasty also warned me about. Unfortunately, at the time of the recovery, I completely forgot about what she told me. But I think this is something that’s so important to share, because if you’re thinking about getting plastic surgery, then you’re probably more critical of your body too and have insecurities that you’re struggling with. Please know that right after surgery, it’s going to feel worse than before. You won’t feel like yourself and you’ll look like a zombie on “The Walking Dead.” It’s just part of the recovery and it’s not permanent!

Day 8 Notes:

  • Today I woke up super uncomfortable and my nose was hurting, but once I took Tylenol it was fine. The left side still felt sore and achy though even after I took Tylenol. Once it wears off, the left side of nose hurts much more and I’ll occasionally feel pain in one specific spot.
  • The tape on my face is getting grosser each day. It’s getting sticky and is disintegrating from the oil on my face.
  • The bruising is still yellow and I still have some red spots around eyes. The stitches on the tip of my nose also seem to be sticking out more now that the little wound is healing.
  • Something interesting that happened was that today is the first time since post-op that the Face ID on my phone worked.
  • My nose isn’t as stuffy anymore today and I don’t need to constantly keep tissue or Q-tips right next to me like I was before.
  • I’m feeling better too. This is actually the first day that I felt well enough to sit at the kitchen counter and write all day and not have to lay in bed or on the couch! I can also laugh a little bit more without being in pain.
  • I generally feel better, but I still look gross and I can’t help but be bothered that the tape is peeling and getting much worse all day long. It doesn’t help that it’s so itchy underneath the tape too. I actually have to use a bobby pin to itch under the tape at the spot where it’s bothering me and have had to keep it next to me all day so I can keep scratching that’s driving me crazy.
  • At the end of the day, Matt helped with washing my hair in the shower this time instead of the sink, works out MUCH BETTER. My face and tape might be gross, but thank goodness for the clean hair.
  • I’ve experienced horrible heartburn every night for the last 3 nights probably because of all the pills and the limited, salty diet. It’s keeping me up and making me even more restless. It ended up keeping me up again tonight too.

Day 9 Notes:

  • Today I had to put extra tape over the tape that Dr. Davis put on at the post-op appointment. It was sort of disintegrating and getting really sticky from the oil on my face because I can’t wash it, which caused it to peel significantly around my cheeks closer to my mouth whenever I smiled.
  • It’s still itching under the tape on the right side of my face a lot, so that bobby pin stays by my side all day long. The itching has actually gotten worse since yesterday.
  • Some of the stitches look like they’re sticking out a little bit more than yesterday. I don’t know if they’re coming apart or starting to deteriorate or something as I’m healing more. Maybe my body and skin are pushing them out as I’m healing? I don’t know, is that a thing?
  • I can tell that the swelling has gone down significantly since the previous week. My nose looks smaller than it did yesterday and it’s starting to look cuter.
  • The bruises (especially the yellow ones) are still there but they’re getting closer to fading away. There’s no signs of any black or blue bruising left, just a few red spots around my eyes. My pores are starting to get clogged and lots of blackheads are popping up.
  • The tip of my nose feels almost entirely numb. I haven’t really touched the tip of my nose and really felt it until today and I was surprised by what little feeling I have in that spot. I can hardly feel any sensations there at all.
  • The left side still hurts a bit more, but only if I tap on it or touch it (even lightly) but it’s getting better. You might be thinking, “Why the fuck are you touching your nose when you’re still healing, Heather?” I can’t help it! I’m just so curious! 

Today is the first day where I actually can say I feel good and feel normal, which means that this is the part that my doctor and nurses kept warning me about. I feel pretty normal now, BUT that doesn’t mean I’m ok do things as normal. I’m still technically on Dr. Davis’s “Princess Time,” where I’m not supposed to be doing ANYTHING for two weeks. It’s just difficult to remember things like don’t bend down or don’t lean forward. But, I’m not really in pain or anything, so that’s what’s important. At this point, the recovery feels more inconvenient and annoying, so I would say to anyone wanting a rhinoplasty you can handle it.

I am still of course staying home and mostly sitting down and resting, but I do get things for myself now without struggling. I’m still just taking it as easy as possible by not cleaning the apartment, for example. But I am sitting up and working on my laptop during the day. I’m feeling well enough to where Matt and I were able to invite one of our best friends over tonight to hang out. Even though I still have tape on my nose, we knew he didn’t care and wouldn’t judge me. I didn’t care either, it felt so nice to talk and have human interaction again!! I’ve been trapped inside all alone for days now!

So far, only a handful of people have seen me (Matt, Pat, Ray, Dr. Davis, and the nurses) they all have said how blown away they are by how normal I look and that I look “great.” I personally think great is a strong word, BUT I see their point. They all said that they were expecting me to look more bruised and bandaged and basically like a zombie for weeks so it’s impressive how quickly I’m recovering. 

In other good news, I was able to give Matt a kiss for the first time in nine days! AND, I’m now able to laugh, smile, and yawn without the stitches hurting and needing to take Tylenol.

Day 10 Notes:

  • The yellow bruises faded significantly and I only have two very small red spots still on my face from bruising.
  • My nose is much more cleared up, although I still am breathing through my mouth. I haven’t had to keep Q-tips by me at all, just one tissue that I use occasionally.
  • A few spots are still a bit tender, but so much better than before. Now if I feel uncomfortable at all, I only have to take one Tylenol.
  • The tape is now super gross and I can’t freaking wait to get it off tomorrow. The oil on my face is causing the top of the tape to disintegrate leaving only the underneath, sticky part of it. I tried to put more tape over it several times so it would look less gross and be less sticky, but it’s not working. I seriously cannot wait to get this tape of and to wash my face!!!!
  • I’m pretty much feeling normal today and was able to do work at the kitchen counter all day. If it weren’t for having to breathe through my mouth and the numbness at the tip of my nose, I probably would feel the same as I always do.
  • I did forget to mention that whenever I lean forward or start to bend over even a little bit, there’s a very odd sensation in the tip of my nose. It’s similar to like a pounding feeling where I can feel my heartbeat, but also like I can feel the blood rush to the area. Even just a slight leaning forward makes it happen. But I think it’s a good thing because it reminds me to be careful and not bend over.
  • By the end of the day my nose is feeling incredibly weird. As if there’s this pressure. It’s like a combination of tingling, numbness, and pressure. I have no idea how to describe it other than that. It doesn’t hurt, but I’m very aware of my nose and feel it constantly. I also accidentally bumped my nose at night, which didn’t feel great or help at all! 
  • Little milestone of the day: I’m now finally able to drink things without using a straw!

Day 11 Notes:

I had crippling anxiety since last night at 7:30 and laid awake in a horrible state of panic until 7:30 a.m.! I was literally wide awake all night. Finally I fell sleep at 7:30 a.m., but then woke up at noon with the same anxiety! That has never happened to me in my life. I think it’s from not being able to do things, being stuck inside, and major life changes that are causing anxiety. Plus I’m trying to land an opportunity which is causing me additional stress. Normally when I feel like this though I run, but I can’t exercise for 6 weeks after surgery!

  • Because I have to breathe through my mouth even while I’m eating, I’ve been constantly burping from air in my stomach. As of today, I’m officially sick of it.

Post- Op Appointment Notes:

At the beginning of my appointment, I opened up to them about the anxiety which they said is incredibly normal and is experienced by most cosmetic surgery patients, ESPECIALLY those who get a nose job. Apparently, it’s from the steroids.

What happens is the steroids have you feeling really good at first when you just got the surgery done so you’re excited about this change. You get to take care of the nose and have a little routine. All of this means that you feel normal and pretty good. Then around day 11 or 12, you come down from the steroids and have a crash which causes a major mood change. On top of that you’re stuck inside and unable to do anything or move AND unable to see the final result so it’s a lot to go through. All of those factors cause you to have a very high highs and then a very strong crash and mood swings.

My nurse tells me that they hear this same complaint from everyone. She also shares with me that they had my “nose brother” in that day (which is what they call the people who get the same surgery as you on the same day as you) and he was going through ALL of the same things I was.

  • Today is my next appointment where I get the tape off – thank goodness. It’s all I can think about. Once the tape came off, Dr. Davis said that everything was absolutely 100% perfect.
  • This means that I’m officially seeing my new nose for the first time! It looks SO good and for the first time I can see that all of the flaws that I talked about in my first rhinoplasty blog are all corrected (including the cartilage that used to stick out when I smiled) bumps, and the width. The only problem is that the tip is very round at the moment. It’s such a relief to finally see it and know that all of those worries I had about getting botched or it turned out bad are gone for good!
  • I was also told that I can finally wash my face and hair again normally and most importantly, get out of the house!
  • I also admitted that I had woken up on my side, used Q-tips when I was told to not attempt to clean the inside of my own nose, and accidentally bumped it. I thought Dr. Davis would be shocked or upset with me but he was not surprised by this at all. Apparently I’m not the first patient he’s had who wasn’t PERFECT. Who knew? And here I was beating myself up about it.

Dr. Davis once again explained why I should absolutely NOT exercise or elevate my heart rate at all. Apparently it could completely damage the results by off-setting the nose, causing swelling that would screw up results, and even deviate the septum again. I keep saying that I completely understand that I can’t work out, but it seems he and the nurse are the most worried about patients exercising during recovery. Even if I just go for a walk it could entirely screw up the work they did. However, after 6 weeks, everything is settled so even if it swells from exercise, it will go back to normal and not cause any long term damage. Swelling and bloating in my face and nose will still happen when I exercise after the 6 week mark, but it will go away rather quickly and not cause any long term damage because the nose is already set then.

  • Dr. Davis also talked to me about how it’s important that I avoid sun and absolutely stay elevated while sleeping.
  • He shared that my nose will continue to get smaller in the next 3 months and after that it will “refine” for up to a year.
  • Lastly, Dr. Davis said to come back for another appointment in 10-12 days. 

Day 11 Notes Continued: 

  • It’s cool because Matt’s work is directly across from Davis Facial Plastic Surgery so as I’m writing notes from today I’m waiting for him to come out and check out the nose for the first time! Update: He likes it!
  • Surprisingly, I have no acne even though I just had my face covered for over 10 days. I also only have two small blue bruises on the tops of cheeks when the tape came off which I was able to cover up with 2 dots of concealer. So lucky for me, I’m finally able to get out of the house and run an errand today!
  • My nose still has that odd tingling and numbing sensation all the time that makes it feel like I have a Frankenstein nose. It doesn’t hurt, but it just feels bizarre. 
  • I’m finally getting close to the end of taking the countless pills I have to take everyday. It’s crazy having to take a handful of pills every 6 hours for 11 days. I’m looking forward to not having to remember it and seeing that I’m getting closer to the end of the bottles. 
  • In the evening I feel similar to when I have a cold – like I’m stuffy, low on energy, and like my nose is swollen and big as if I’ve been blowing my nose all day.
  • One thing I’m really happy about is that I was able to wash my face and my nose for the first time! It feels so good to have a clean nose again! I did have to be super gentle around my nose though and barely touch my skin. When I did, the skin on nose felt super rough. 
  • Physically, my entire body is not feeling good. I even have this horrible knot that’s been growing in my calf from laying down and not doing anything for the last 11 days. I had to spend the rest of the night using a hot compress on my calves to try to loosen it up. 

Day 12 Notes:

  • I took Z-quil last night and was able to actually go to sleep AND wake up at 8 a.m., so I finally am feeling like I’m more normal and on schedule again. 
  • Brusises are still lingering, but definitely fading.
  • Nose still very much swollen and probably will be for many weeks/months.
  • Experiencing hot flashes throughout the day.
  • I’m a little congested but I was finally about to move the tissue boxes to their normal places in the apartment and not need them by me at all times. I was able to move our bathroom trashcan back into the bathroom and not have it next to the bed. Until now I constantly had a tissue box and a trash can with me at all times because my nose was constantly dripping. I’m finally at the point where my day isn’t consumed with caring for my nose. I was even able to clean up the apartment and go about my day the way I normally would.

This morning I woke up with anxiety, just as I did yesterday, but it was much more subtle. It wasn’t as crippling and I could push through and go about my day. But then I noticed something odd happening – the anxiety slowly built up until it eventually turned into an anxiety attack that literally made me feel like I was dying. The only way I could break the anxiety attack was by taking the medication that was prescribed to me. Even that only helped a little bit. I can only hope that this anxiety will pass in the next few days. 

I do want to mention that having anxiety to this extent makes you feel for people with anxiety disorders. Because this anxiety is a side effect of taking steroids, it’s something internal that I can’t control. No amount of deep breathing or meditation can overcome the anxiety throughout my body. I can imagine this is exactly how people with anxiety disorders feel and I’m sure it’s incredibly frustrating when people would say things like, “Oh, you should just meditate!” There’s no way that something like that could make this consuming anxiety in every cell of my body go away. This anxiety isn’t fed by my thoughts or fears, it’s just there. It just comes out of nowhere and fills my entire body with a feeling so terrible that I can’t even put it into words. There’s nothing I can do to stop it from coming or getting worse. I just have to let it run its course.

  • Toward the end of the day Matt and I decided to start cleaning out our closest which is overflowing with things we never wear. I put everything on the bed Marie Kondo style and started purging, putting on clothes to see if they even fit, and organizing them into sell/donate/keep. Eventually I realized that I was moving a lot and my heart rate was up and I was getting warm. I could tell I was doing too much and over extending myself. If Dr. Davis saw me he would be telling me to sit the f*ck down because I’m still on “princess time.” I had Matt move the rest of my massive pile into the living room to work on tomorrow. I was so happy that we did that though, it felt good to clean and organize because decluttering is something I love to do whenever I’m having a bunch of anxiety (also because I watched all of “Tiny House Nation,” “How to Live Mortgage Free,” and the “Minimalism” documentary during my recovery time).
  • Thank goodness for Z-quil, because without it I would have been up all night again.

Day 13 Notes:

  • It’s my last day of antibiotics!
  • I feel basically back to normal, so I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not normal yet.
  • Mother Nature decided to give me a little surprise this morning on top of everything else, which I’m not happy about.
  • I also was able to put a full face of make-up on! So I look much better, however it’s odd because putting my makeup on actually accented my nose and made me notice how much bigger it looks. I think it was because I thought putting my make-up on had me expecting that I look “normal” and like myself again, but when your nose is swollen and big, it doesn’t quite work. 
  • What is left of the bruises on my face are very, very, very stubborn. I keep going to sleep thinking, “Ok, tomorrow they’ll be gone.” And then they aren’t! Today, I noticed that they’re turning darker and more blue and are showing through my makeup. It probably doesn’t help that I have super light skin.
  • I spent the whole morning out and about doing things like light walking or standing around, but I was still worried that I shouldn’t be doing “anything at all.” Even if I walk a little bit, I get paranoid that I’m going to screw up my nose and cause damage that could only be fixed by MORE surgery. It’s so stressful.

Luckily for me, the anxiety hasn’t hit me today. It probably helps because Matt’s home today and we’re staying busy by doing things we’ve been meaning to do like cleaning and errands. We ended up being busy from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m.

As I’m writing these notes, we have A LOT going on in our lives right now. I can finally mention it now that my announcement was posted, but we closed on our first house, three days after my surgery! So we ended up spending the entire day running errands, cleaning up, and doing little odd projects because immediately when my 6 week recovery is finished, our lease ends on our apartment and we have to be moved into our home. In the meantime we need TONS of things for the house AND we’re in the process of getting the bathroom remodeled. So we’re constantly making trips to home improvement stores and picking out every little detail we want in our bathroom. If it’s not done by the day we move in, I don’t know what we’ll do!

Anyways, I noticed that this morning when we were doings things like getting breakfast and doing some errands, I felt very normal. But slowly, by the time evening came around I was beginning to feel crappy. My entire body started to ache more and more and I was becoming more exhausted by the hour.

What I’m experiencing now with my recovery is basically the same feeling you would experience when you’re catching a cold. Plus, I’m still congested and my nose feels big and swollen. I don’t believe I’m coming down with anything, because if I was I would have tons of sinus issues and a cough already. I bet I was just not a recovered as I felt today when I woke up and started over extending myself. Even though I didn’t do tons of physical activity, I was still up and about, going from store to store, and getting a bunch of things done at home, without getting to rest at all. Even if I’m not doing a lot of physical activity, spending all day on my feet is a bad idea. It just goes to show that surgery is a big deal and takes a toll on your body, even if it’s a quick, easy, and low risk surgery. I probably shouldn’t have kept as busy as I did all day. But, it’s hard to not do anything when you’re in the process of moving!

  • Today I found myself constantly bending over to grab something or doing something I probably shouldn’t have, thinking to myself, “Oh, it’ll be fine.” Which in reality I know is 100% not fine.
  • Another thing that I have to remind myself is to not touch my face or nose. Whenever I feel really crappy, my body naturally wants to massage the top of my nose between my eyes with my finger tips, or put my head into my hands, or press on my sinuses if I feel sick or exhausted, but I can’t do any of those things. The things that I normally do to comfort myself only makes me feel worse right now.
  • I still have to just barely touch my nose with my fingertips when I wash my face. So much that it just feels like I’m just tickling my skin. Any pressure on my nose AT ALL would feel terrible.
  • By the end of today at 9 p.m. I ended up taking one of my extra strength Tylenol again because my nose was a bit uncomfortable, especially if I yawned.
  • The main takeaway from today is that I’m at the point where I’m very much on the verge of being normal and I’m getting annoyed with having to baby myself. Knowing that I’m not physically able to go for a long walk, or clean up, or lift things is hard to wrap my head around. The good news is that tomorrow I’ll have finally reached the first two weeks and will start feeling better and better. 

Day 14 Notes:

  • Woke up feeling very good and normal.
  • I ended up spending the whole day out with Matt again. As the day went on I kept feeling worse and worse, just like yesterday. My nose kept feeling more stuffy, my nose was running constantly, I kept sniffing, and I felt dripping in the back of my throat. Finally we realized that Matt and I might actually be coming down with a cold!! It’s the absolute WORST time to get sick, since I can’t blow my nose another one or TWO weeks! I’m so bummed out that I’m starting to get sick right as I was getting better from the surgery. Also because I get chronic sinus infections, which sometimes end up lasting up to 2 or 3 months at a time (not kidding).
  • Still experiencing anxiety. I’ll occasionally end up on the verge of an anxiety attack that happens without any warning or trigger. Although the anxiety is slowly getting better, it still happens. The anxiety is so strong and overwhelming that I started carrying Alazropam in case it happens while I’m in public or gets so bad that I can’t get control of it. 
  • Physically my nose hasn’t hurt or bothered me once today.
  • Tip of nose appears to be less swollen today.
  • Bruising is still hanging on for dear life.

Day 15 Notes:

I was only planning on doing daily notes until the two week mark, but since I had to call the office today and talk to the nurse, I thought I should pass on information that they shared…

  • I explained to the nurse that I caught a cold, and since I was a child my colds turn into chronic sinus infections that can last up to two or three months at a time. I was worried about what to do if I had to blow my nose and I was afraid that this would impact my results if I ended up sneezing or needing to blow my nose. She said that I should try to hold out as long as possible because Dr. Davis gives people the go ahead to blow their nose around 3.5 weeks. BUT if I absolutely need too, I should only blow my nose in the shower and without manipulating the outside of my nose. I have to let the stream loosen up the mucus naturally and make the inside of my nose moist so I won’t need to use a lot of pressure to blow my nose. She said I also should make sure that I’m using my saline 24/7 to keep the inside of my nose from drying out and to help the mucus come out .
  • Another thing that she also warned me about is that in the next week I might have scabbing on the inside of my nose start to come out. It could either fall out of the front of my nose along with the ends of the stitches or down the back of my throat along with mucus. She warned me that it’s absolutely disgusting, but she didn’t want me to be surprised when it happened. 
  • Other than that I still have bruises.
  • Now that it’s no longer the weekend I don’t have to be out running errands with Matt today, I plan on spending the day in bed working on the blog and getting some rest.

Week 3 Notes:

  • Some yellow bruises STILL hanging around.
  • I’m getting really, really tired of sleeping elevated and find myself cheating a bit by slightly turning over on my side to get comfortable.

Post- Op Appointment Notes: The nurse and Dr. Davis both said everything looked like it was healing perfectly, which is wonderful news! Dr. Davis describes a rhinoplasty as a moving target. You have to constantly check in on it to make sure that the recovery is moving in the right direction. 

My nose is leaning left today though. This could happen because the nose could heal slightly differently on each side or because a certain side could be more swollen for various reasons like if I slept on one side more. That’s why some days my nose looks perfectly straight, some days it leans to the left, and some days it leans to the right. Dr. Davis also told me that in the future (around week 4 or 5)  I might have to do nose “exercises” which he calls them. This is just when I gently hold the tip of my nose over to the opposite side it’s leaning and hold it there (with no pressure) for 30 seconds to one minute. This helps train the nose so that it heals perfectly straight.

Dr. Davis also said that he could tell I was being good by not exercising or elevating my heart rate. If I had, my nose would have been much more swollen today. But my swelling has gone down a good amount since my surgery. The other good news that I got is that I can FINALLY blow my nose (in the shower) as long as I don’t move or manipulate the outside of my nose. There’s not as much of a risk now of me displacing the cartilage as long as I’m super gentle about it and do it the way the nurse described. He also reminded me that although the tip of my nose is very hard and stiff, it will shrink and relax over time.

Then at the end of my appointment, Dr. Davis did something crazy where he put on glasses with a flashlight on them, got out some medical tools, and went up into my nose to remove the boogers. I can’t even tell you how horrifying and bizarre that was to see what’s really hiding up inside your nose! But he had to do that because your nose gets so congested from a rhinoplasty, and otherwise, what’s stuck up there wouldn’t come out for weeks!

Week 4 Notes: 

  • My bruises are gone !!!!!! FINALLY!
  • I’m still super congested.
  • I’m now beyond annoyed with having to sleep at a 45 degree angle still. I haven’t slept normally and comfortably in so long.
  • It’s still very difficult to remind myself that I’m not healed and still in recovery. Things that I could normally do without a problem I have to be very cautious to not go overboard. 
  • I’m having tons of sneezing and allergies! And this fun thing keeps happening all day, where whenever I sneeze (even though it’s through my mouth) it loosens everything up and there goes the next 10 minutes that I have to spend blowing my nose and attempting to clean it out. 
  • My stitches are still hanging around on the inside of the nose.
  • I feel basically normal again, so much that this week I got to go to Cincinnati for a long weekend and be a tourist! That problem is no longer happening where I slowly feel worse throughout the day. I was able to walk around a bit, see different stores and museums, and go to the Blink Festival without feeling bad at the end of the day. 

Week 5 Notes:

  • It’s the end of week 5 and I’m an OVER sleeping elevated. At this point I cheat constantly. For as long as I can remember, I have only ever been able to sleep on my sides or on my stomach, so 5+ weeks of not sleeping well has really caught up to me and affected my mood.
  • Another development in the recovery is that the inside of my nose is extremely itchy all the time.

Post-Op Appointment Notes: I’m not exactly at week 6 right now, because I’m at the end of week five, but today is my 6-week post op appointment to check in with my recovery again. 

Dr. Davis was mostly checking to see how the bones feel and how the light trail looked on my nose. He said everything is perfect. I’m especially excited about noticing my “light trail” on my nose today since I can see that it’s perfectly straight! Because I used to model so much, I was familiar with how my light trail was screwed up before. It would always look crooked and there were bumps and imperfections in my bones and cartilage that would cause the light trail to be choppy and have a bunch of shadows. It’s the little things like that which make a huge difference in people’s appearance. Also because my nose is so straight today, he told me that I didn’t have to do the exercises that we talked about during our last appointment.

Dr. Davis also informed me that I can now go back to being normal again and working out again. He just wanted me to understand that it is still not entirely healed. According to him, my nose is 80% healed so if he punched me and broke my nose it would require 20% less pressure. 

He also shared that it’s normal for my nose to feel very itchy and have symptoms like allergies. My nose will still be extremely stiff for up to 6 months and maybe even a year or a year and a half. Dr. Davis says that the length of recovery is the worst part of a rhinoplasty because the healing process is so dragged out. It takes a VERY long time for the tip of the nose to relax.

The one thing that is a bit concerning about my healing is that my nose is much more shallow in the center while the top of my nose closer to my brows is wider. It’s more shallow than normal so Dr. Davis said he’s going to keep an eye on that. He shared with me that during the surgery he did cartilage grafting on that part of my nose. To do this, he basically took little broken pieces of cartilage and placed them along that part of my nose so it would blend together. However this shouldn’t be a problem with the healing and can actually be a good thing.

Dr. Davis informed me that when the tip of the nose starts to relax, some of the volume is pushed back up the nose along the cartilage and creates a more even look. (This always happens, it’s just the way it heals). For that reason, if my cartilage was thicker in the center of my nose and matched the bridge of my nose now, it could actually become a problem later because that will only get bigger when the tip of the nose relaxes.

Moving forward, he informed me that there’s tons of “tricks” they can do to correct any issues in healing like mine to ensure the nose recovers with the look we’re going for. For example, he could do a steroid injection on the tip of my nose at 6 months if it’s super tight and still not relaxing or shrinking. This will speed that process up. Then if the center is still shallow, he can do an injection that he described to me as a “bone paste.” It’s essentially a permanent filler that will harden along the cartilage to even it out so it’s perfectly smooth. 

When I asked him about why I still had stitches inside of my nose that weren’t disintegrating, he said that he uses 2 types of stitches – one of them dissolves like what he used on my septum and those are gone. The other kind he uses are semi-permanent and will stay in my nose for close to a year to keep it in place so it heels properly. However, many other surgeons use permanent stitches inside the nose that never come out. For that reason, when he does revision rhinoplastys he tends to come across small pieces of blue and purple stitches. 

Two rules that he gave me were to avoid the sun and NOT wear glasses unless they are completely pushed up to the top of my nose and not sliding down. If I wore glasses any lower if could mess up the cartilage or create indents in my skin because my face and nose still are slightly swollen.

Dr. Davis also said I could work out again now because I work out “like a normal person.” The only problems he has with people working out past the 6-week mark is when it comes to athletes. It’s ok to go back to the gym at 6 weeks, however an athlete’s idea of “going back to the gym” is problematic and can still ruin the results. The key is exercise in MODERATION. Training for triathlons, running marathons or half marathons, double or triple exercises a day, or doing obstacle courses is not considered to be a moderate exercise. The average workout with some weights, jogging, and conditioning is ok. 

When it comes to working out, he also warned me that it may make my nose appear swollen and bigger again. Even more interesting than that, so could my diet and lifestyle! He said that if I went out one night ate a bunch of greasy and salty fast food and drank more, then I would see swelling too. I thought that was odd, but I guess it makes sense. 

During this appointment, I asked him LOTS of questions repeatedly like, “Is it ok if I work out?” It was like I was afraid the answer would change and I had to be absolutely sure. Over and over he told me I was completely able to go back to my normal life after week six. But I’m not the only patient that gets paranoid like this during their post-op appointments. Dr. Davis told me, “the problem is that I create sort of emotionally handicapped people when it comes to their nose.” He wants people to take recovery seriously so he overwhelms them with guidelines and rules of what to do and what not to do because he knows that people will be relaxed, and cheat, and get sloppy or slack off here and there. He has to create a bit of a panic so people are careful and he can protect his work. Unfortunately, by the end of the six weeks people are so scared about ruining their results that it takes them a few weeks to calm down and relax again.

Week 6 Notes:

  • I finally made it through week 6 and thank goodness! It couldn’t have come at a more perfect time either because we’re moving and the next 48 hours is going to be chaotic.
  • The itching went away for the most part.
  • I finally feel like I’m more normal now.
  • The only time my nose hurts is if I touch the tip of it, it’s tender and I can feel the stitches a bit. The tip of the nose is still very hard, but the swelling has gone down a ton.
  • I’m now sleeping on my side again which feels so amazing, I can’t even tell you. I still avoid sleeping on my stomach though, because it would hurt anyways and I really don’t want to push it. 
  • I’m so happy to get back to normal life, my blog has lost a lot of steam during my recovery and I haven’t been in the mindset to create during the last 6 weeks. I felt terrible, I wasn’t sleeping well, and I had tons of bruises that make me not want to leave the house. It feels so good to be out and just be a normal human being again, not a patient.

3 Months Post Surgery Notes:

  • The tip of my nose is still very hard but it has shrunk.
  • My nose doesn’t hurt at all anymore, but the inside of my nostrils is still incredibly itchy.
  • The semi-permanent stitches are still in and are just as thick and pointing as they were 3 months ago and I’m worried that they will never go away.
  • I’m still avoiding wearing regular glasses or sunglasses so there aren’t indents on my nose but I don’t care all that much because it feels uncomfortable and hurts when I wear glasses anyways.

3 Month Post-Op Appointment Notes: My nose is healing just fine, but today it is turning left a little bit. Dr. Davis wants me to be hyper aware of my nose and whether it’s straight or leaning each day. If it is leaning, I should do the exercise he taught me to help stretch out the side that’s shortened. He also told me that at the 6 month appointment, he may do a few things to it like injections if he finds that my nose needs it. For now we just have to let the tip loosen up and wait for some of the volume to disperse around my cartilage.

4 Months Post Surgery Notes:

  • The tip of my nose feels much more normal again. It seemed to happen all at once. One day I just touched my nose and it didn’t feel hard and stiff anymore. I’m also able to move my nose back and forth if I have tickle or anything like that.
  • My stitches inside my nose have been disintegrating more and more in the last month which makes me really happy to see. As these little things correct themselves, it’s nice to have my nose slowly take up less energy and space in my mind. For years (and especially during the recovery) my nose and how I felt about it was always at the front of my mind.
  • My nose is still slightly swollen and round at the tip which you mostly see from the profile now, but not straight on. 
  • I am now finally exercising regularly now that I’m not scared of ruining my nose and now that life has finally calmed now. It feels SO good!
  • The one thing that still irritates me is how itchy the inside of my nostrils are. That part still never went away!

Takeaways From My Rhinoplasty Recovery

There you have it. That was my full recovery experience. And trust me, I know that was a lot. But I wrote this post specifically for the women that I’ve talked to who also want to get a rhinoplasty done. It’s written so you can understand exactly how my day to day went, how I felt mentally and physically throughout the entire experience, and what I learned along the way. The whole point was to create this post to help people understand what they can expect from this procedure ahead of time. That way, if you’re about to go under the knife, it would be less scary because you’ll be mentally prepared for the next 6 weeks.

That being said, I know that was a lot of information, so I want to leave you with a few takeaways that I feel are the most important lessons from my recovery. 

Takeaway 1: The physical part of recovery is easy. 

It may surprise you when I say this, but recovery went much better than I thought it would in many ways, BUT it also was much worse than I thought it would be at the same time. When I went into this I was expecting so much physical pain and thought that I would even experience regret for putting myself through this. But it turns out that the recovery was MUCH harder mentally and emotionally than it was physically.

For 6 weeks, I felt like a zombie and wasn’t myself. I felt extremeley emotional and depressed during recovery and started to get upset with myself because I wasn’t getting a lot done professionally. I was cooped up and not doing much of anything because I couldn’t risk ruining my results. During that time I took notes on mainly physical things because that’s what I set out to capture, but I was shocked that the hardest part of this all was my mentality. Going through 6 weeks of recovery, seeing yourself bruised and swollen, not being able to go outside, not being able to move or behave normally, or even sleep normally made those 6 weeks feel like 12. To anyone interested in getting a rhinoplasty, be very aware that this process is challenging mentally and emotionally too. Make sure that you have TONS of support and are in a good headspace going into this procedure. 

Takeaway 2: You’ll need someone’s help! 

I can honestly say that I would have never ever ever been able to do this surgery alone. Matt took care of me every moment of every day for virtually 2 weeks straight. He washed my hair, he gave me my pills, he fed me, he helped me get comfortable, he cleaned my stitches, and he ran errands for me. If it wasn’t for Matt, I would have been screwed. I wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself if I had lived alone.

I know that many women are very adamant that they don’t need help after cosmetic surgery and even make the decision to be alone all week after a rhinoplasty. I have no idea how they would do that, and I don’t recommend that to anyone. But I will say that one of the best things that came out of this experience is that it brought Matt and I even closer together. We both felt that it helped us grow as a couple since one of us had to take care of the other. I remember that Matt seemed oddly happy at random times when he would be cleaning my stitches or helping me get comfortable and would express to me that he liked how intimate the experience was. It reminded me of what it was like moving in together for the first time and us being brought even closer together and knowing each other on a deeper level. 

Takeaway 3: The hardest part is not doing anything

The next takeaway that I want to stress is when recovering from this type of surgery, you have to be very committed to your healing by being super low-key. Which means you can’t do anything that could risk causing damage like putting a tight shirt over your head, going for a walk, leaning down to pick something out – but the biggest one… you can’t work out!

NEVER has my body ever felt more stiff and terrible in my life. I had knots so big that my calves would sometimes have a spasm. It was amazing just how quickly your body can go downhill in a few weeks of being bedridden. So to any ATHLETES out there wanting to get a nose job, listen up! There will be no CrossFit, no marathons, no races, no triathlons, no obstacle course, no bike rides, no hiking, not even walking. And even then, once you get through the initial 6 weeks, you still have to take it easy and not work out the way that you’re used to. I’ll admit, I’m a pretty lazy person and a natural home body, and I struggled with this the most. This part of the recovery is not something that you can slack on unless you want to have to get a revision rhinoplasty. 

Takeaway 4: Don’t close on a house 3 days after your surgery

In fact, don’t make any other big life changes that could distract you from your healing. Moving and getting surgery are stressful enough on their own, but to do them at the same time is a whole other beast. I wasn’t able to help out in lifting, moving, house projects, etc. Yet, all of that still had to get done, which meant that the things I could do I had to do very slowly and very carefully. The rest of it Matt had to take care of with the help of his dad and his best friend.

We also had an instance where someone (who shall remain nameless) took photos of him closing on the house without me being in them. I had so much anger and rage inside of me that I can’t even describe it to you. There also was the matter of dealing with a bathroom renovation and having to go pick out every detail in the store while still healing. That’s why I had so many days with Matt where I came home feeling sick and exhausted. I still had to be out on my feet all day making difficult decisions and going from store to store so that out bathroom could be completed on the weekend my recovery was coming to an end and we were moving into our new home.

I personally think that any additional stress you put on yourself at this time makes the recovery so much more difficult. So if you’re also getting a rhinoplasty, don’t schedule it before a big trip, before a big move or any other deadline. Avoid anything that will make you feel tense and anxious, including certain people or activities. Give yourself the freedom to heal in peace. You will be so happy that you did.

Thank you for coming to Lost Online!

I hope you enjoyed this blog post and took something away from it that will either help you going into surgery or help you understand what people go through when recovering from a cosmetic procedure like this one. I want to talk about this experience as openly and honestly as possible so that cosmetic procedures don’t have to feel so taboo or secretive any more.

Make sure to keep an eye out for the next blogs in this series including my RESULTS and a Q&A from all of my readers, followers, and friends. If you have any questions yourself please reach out to me over email or Instagram @heather.ione and I will respond to you as fast as I can!

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that “+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photos by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.

ANNOUNCEMENT: We got a dog!

Announcements

*Currently writing this blog post with one hand because a puppy is nibbling on the other!*

Yes, it finally happened! Matt and I are officially dog parents and I’m so happy to introduce our furbaby, Nova, to you!

It’s so crazy being here now. Back when Matt and I were dating in college, we used to always dream about our future together. We’d talk about how amazing it would be to have our own home, how we would decorate, how we would spend our weekends, and the trips we would take. But above all, we talked about how much we wanted a dog.

There was nothing in the world we wanted more than a four-legged fur baby that we could snuggle up with together. For as long as we’ve known each other we’ve been saving photos of different dog breeds and brainstorming names. Were we a bit obsessed? Maybe. But who cares. We’re DOG PEOPLE.

Anyways, we talked about this FOREVER and tried our best to ignore all the haters who tried to ruin our dream by sharing all of the reasons why we “shouldn’t get a dog.” (Side note: no one ever tells you that you shouldn’t have a baby. Why do we do this to each other when someone says they want a puppy?)

BUT, we knew that whenever the day came when we had our own yard, a puppy would be in our very near future. And here she is, our ferocious little puppy, Nova Rutski who is currently having what I call “the zoomies” and running back and forth across the living room as fast as she possibly can. Welcome to the family, Nova.

Puppy Motherhood

We got Nova when she was just 6 weeks old and weighed just 4.9 pounds! Annnddd, now I have to go pull her away from the molding she’s chewing on. 

Today, Nova is 12 weeks old and having her for just 6 weeks has already been such an experience. The first 2 weeks were the toughest. Matt and I were both pretty nervous. For the first time in our lives, we had another life to be responsible for! I mean I used to be a pet sitter and a nanny for a few years, but I would say goodbye at the end of the night or the end of the week when the parents and owners would come home. Instead, we are now responsible for another life for over a decade! And now I have to take Nova outside because I can tell she’s about to have an accident, brb.

So to be honest, as excited as we were, we were also very on edge. On top of that, Matt had to leave on a week-long work trip the day after we got her! Let me tell you, I got zero sleep that week.

But I didn’t care. Instantly, I loved her so much. I loved her puppy breath, her spots, how her eyes are different from each other. And most of all, I loved the… and I left her alone for one minute and she destroyed the zipper on her crate.

Whelp, I was going in a certain direction with this blog post today, but I guess it’s time to scratch that. I am writing this blog post in real-time while Nova is bouncing back and forth between being the sweetest and most cuddly puppy in the world, to being a literal monster. Nova is what Matt described as a real-life Sour Patch Kid – first she’s sour and then she’s sweet.

So I guess that’s the point that I’m trying to make with this blog post today. I love this little puppy more than anything, but she drives me insane. She makes me feel so loved and yet sometimes I think she’s intentionally destroying the things that I care about on purpose. I just want to sleep in, yet I’m thankful for getting to wake up early and take care of her.

Thank goodness, now she’s napping. 

There are holes from her teeth in my favorite $110 Lululemon yoga pants, but so much love in my heart. My favorite rugs are chewed up in the corners and we have to move them into the garage, but I have a smile on my face whenever I look at her. I can’t leave the house and go anywhere, yet I also don’t want to. 

THIS is puppy motherhood.

Despite the constant biting, and gnawing, and chewing, and holes in every piece of clothing or sock she can find, I’ve never been so relaxed, happy, and anxiety-free. Matt and I noticed that after just 3 weeks of having her, our stress and anxiety level dropped so much. We weren’t constantly in our own heads and worrying about something. It was like having this new little life to take care of brought us more clarity, focus, and peace of mind. The routine and responsibility that comes with taking care of someone else along with that feeling of unconditional love when your puppy is so excited that you just came home are amazing.

Oh crap, she wasn’t actually sleeping. Oh well, it’s her lunchtime anyways.

Back to writing… nope, I have to take her out again.

Ok, now back to writing. Awwww, she’s being so cute playing with her ball right now. The ball just went under the couch and she went after it. All you can see are her little paws sticking out. It kind of looks like when the witch from the Wizard of Oz got a house dropped on her.

Now she’s out from under the couch and chewing on the Christmas tree. I give up. Welcome to the family Nova, I love you. 

Thanks for coming to Lost Online

I hope you enjoyed this chaotic blog post about the newest member of our little family! You’ll be seeing SO much more of our little sour patch puppy in the future. Please send us a prayer that we survive Nova’s puppyhood and leave some of your puppy training knowledge in the comments below! We could use it!

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that “+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photos by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.

Announcement: We’re Homeowners!

Announcements, Lifestyle

I’ll Drink to That

Pop the freaking champagne because after 9 months of house hunting, it finally freaking happened!

On September 12, 2019 Matt and I officially closed on the most perfect house that we could have asked for. With this new change, a heavy weight has finally been lifted off our shoulders, because it’s been a LONG time getting to this point. 

Matt was adamant about us becoming homeowners since the moment we moved to St. Petersburg, Fla., and since then it’s been a huge area of stress that I was not anticipating immediately following graduation, leaving my parents house, looking for a job, and moving in with a significant other for the first time. Because of that, the whole house hunting endeavor was a constant hot button issue.

Now we’re finally settled into our new home and best of all, we can finally breathe. No more house hunting, no more discussions about it, no more stress in our home environment! I’m sure you know what I mean! If you’ve ever gone house hunting before it can feel like the ground is shaking underneath you. You don’t feel stable and at peace in your current home and you’re always going through this exhausting inner battle about whether you should or shouldn’t put an offer in, whether you should even buy a house, how much money you want to spend, and how much work you want to put in. It starts to consume you!

Sitting here now, in our home, I can finally celebrate the fact that we now have our FIRST HOME. (Which I guess makes us grown-ups or something??) On top of that, I can look back at the entire house buying experience and appreciate that it got us to where we are today: in our perfect little home, that checked every box on our list and more. 

From Headaches to Happiness

Now I hate to say this because I feel like I should have known this, but looking at houses and putting offers in is far more stressful than I would have expected! If you’re not familiar with St. Pete, all of the houses here were built between 1900 and 1950 which means “historic charm” surrounds us everywhere we look. BUT that historic charm comes with a huge price: termites, asbestos, odd floor plans, and costly renovations.

On top of that, St. Pete is a city that has completely turned around in the last 10-15 years. The line that I’ve heard more than anything else since moving here is: “Ten years ago, you wouldn’t ever stop in St. Pete.” What went from a city that was run down and plagued with crime has turned into one of the most popular and expensive areas to live around the greater Tampa Bay area. Today it’s filled with street art, kava bars, crystal shops, breweries, restaurants, bars, boutiques, cafes, and boho plant shops.

As you can imagine, it’s wonderful. BUT to be close to an area this popular, a two-bedroom/one-bath in DIRE need of renovations with ZERO closet or storage space, a dated floor plan, termites, and asbestos goes for around $300,000! Even then, most of the homes here go for ABOVE asking price!

On this rather unpleasant journey, Matt and I fell in love with “the one” FOUR SEPARATE TIMES! Four times we found the perfect, charming house that had everything we wanted only to discover heartbreaking news in the inspection. OR, we would end up having our offer (that MATCHED the asking price) denied! This area is so popular, that even with all of those problems in a house, sellers know they will be able to get above asking.

I’m not kidding when I say that I had completely given up hope of finding a home. But just like what always happens whenever you relax, let go of expectations and trust in the universe – it magically worked out.

After 9 months, 4 offers, and about 100 arguments, IT HAPPENED. We’re now the very happy homeowners of a gorgeous home in the city that we love so much. And the best part is, it’s termite- and asbestos-free!

Honey, We’re Home

Now all of the stress and all of the headaches have finally been replaced with excitement! Excitement over renovations, painting, decorating, landscaping, and best of all: getting a pup.

We can finally appreciate the fact that we have our first home and that all of the home rejection was really just REDIRECTION to bring us here.

To bring us the perfect starter house that meets all of our needs and fills us up. A home where I can write this post to you right now and concentrate because I don’t have to hear “Seinfield” playing in the background! A home where we can step outside, be in the sun, and hear the birds throughout the day. A home that’s surrounded by other young couples walking their dogs in the evening. A home that has a huge walk-in closet so Matt no longer has to fight for space. And a home we feel happy in.

Our Must-Haves

You know what’s interesting about house hunting? It’s so difficult and it takes so much time that you actually start to believe that your ideal home doesn’t even exist. That you will NEVER find what you’re looking for and that it’s impossible for you to find a home that’s perfect for you. Even though you’re surrounded by thousands and thousands of homes in your area, the entire house hunting process is enough to make even the most faithful and positive people become closed-minded. That’s exactly what happened to me.

Here were my absolutely must-haves for a home that I convinced myself was impossible to find…

  • A fenced-in yard for our future pup
  • A floor plan that makes sense and doesn’t have long, rectangular rooms
  • A completely renovated kitchen (I was so NOT about to do that myself)
  • A home office for me so that my kitchen counter doesn’t have to be my desk anymore
  • A front porch
  • A block house so we don’t have to worry about asbestos siding or termites
  • Laundry space (some houses we saw did not have a washer and dryer or any room to put them in)
  • Storage space (since most of the houses here were built in the 1910s, most of them don’t have the room and storage space for our lifestyle now)
  • A big enough closet for the both of us
  • And a safe neighborhood – I didn’t care to live in a neighborhood that is referred to as “up-and-coming.” I wanted to be in a neighborhood that I felt very safe comfortable in while walking a dog around by myself. Since many of the areas in St. Pete are still turning around, you’ll find beautiful, safe, charming streets, followed by a specific street that you have to be conscious to avoid.

You’ll notice that my list of “must-haves” was very reasonable. Sure there were still things that I wanted to have, but these were my absolutes and I wasn’t asking for a lot. I think most people would say they want to be in a safe neighborhood and have a floor plan that makes sense, but I was honestly starting to believe that it was impossible to find. That all those houses were snatched up leaving us with only one option: buy a run-down house and remodel the entire thing ourselves.

Added Bonuses:

Of course, the home DID exist and I’m writing to you from inside it right now. I realize how crazy it was thinking that there’s no way a home like this could be possible for us to find in St. Pete. Not only did we get every one of our must-haves, but we also got so much more!

  • A large walk-in closet with plenty of room for both of us. No more fighting over space!
  • A garage where we can store holiday decorations, our suitcases, and tools so that they’re not eating up our living space and indoor storage.
  • A wine fridge, which will be FULLY stocked with J. Lohr Chardonnay for whenever my mom comes to visit.
  • Lots of natural light that floods into the house in the morning.
  • A bar cart that the previous owner let us have which is now stocked and makes us feel super fancy. AND a narrow table in the kitchen she also gave to us that we use a coffee bar! Which means we have a designated space for coffee and drinks! Could there be anything more perfect than that?
  • A sliding barn door on the closet which looks super cool and sounds like a dungeon door every time we close and open it.
  • Dozens of blue jays that fly around our house and make me smile every time I look out the window. 
  • And a corner lot with lots of yard space!

What’s to Come?!

So, what’s to come now that we’re finally in our first home? Well, for starters, several house projects which we’re really looking forward to working on AND a lot of decorating! Since this is my first home, I’m so excited to make it my own and create space that makes me feel energized and happy. Here’s what’s to come!

  • A yard filled to capacity with greenery, wildflowers, and star jasmine
  • Full-on bohemian decorations and plants! I’ve been waiting for this day my whole life to turn a home into my own little boho paradise – carefully re-modeled after my Pinterest Boards.
  • A back patio with strobe lights hanging above the seating area and a fire pit to roast marshmallows.
  • Outdoor games since Matt and his best friend Pat have been very vocal that they need to be able to play backyard games.
  • An updated, completely remodeled bathroom that lucky for us, was miraculously completed by our contractor the day before we moved in! 
  • A dressing room style master closet with a large shoe rack, full-length mirror, and bench to sit down on.
  • A beautiful home office where I can have a designated spot to work on my blog and YouTube and have my future health coaching clients over!! I’m also planning on creating a small altar and meditation space so that I can have a spiritual practice without hearing “Seinfeld” or “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” playing in the background. (Sorry Matt, I love you.)
  • A custom garage door and new driveway (because for some reason one of the previous owners had sealed the garage door shut so you can’t get it open and an oak tree at the front of the property has done a tremendous job ripping up half the driveway!)
  • French doors that open out onto the patio so you don’t have to walk through the garage.

But of course, there’s so much more to come, now that we finally have a home and more than 600 square feet of space. The number one thing that we’re looking forward to is a puppy! I’m hoping that our puppy is just around the corner because I’m so beyond excited to be a dog mom. I’ve been waiting to be a dog mom my entire life! The breeds I’m the most in love with are Keeshonds, Pomskys, and Samoyeds. I’m obsessed with the fluff (:

And BEES! For those of you who don’t know, Matt has been wanting to become a beekeeper for years! I’m sure you can fully expect to hear more about our process of buying bees and learning how to make honey in the next year. I have a feeling it’s going to be a struggle but will be EXTREMELY entertaining. I’m picturing us walking around with smoke in our beekeeper outfits right now. Matt and I have even thought up the name for our future honey business that Matt blurted out to our friend Ray as a joke once, but we LOVE it. I’m not telling you what it is just yet!

Last but not least, getting married (: To all of our friends and family, I just want to say that YES we will get married someday and we will do that when we are ready! We’re already picking up on the not-so-subtle hints that people think we should get married since we have a house now. When we are ready to take that next step, it will happen!

I remember six months into dating Matt, I looked at him as we were leaving a Christmas concert one night and said, “I’m going to marry the sh*t out of you someday.” That has become one of the most memorable quotes and milestones in our relationship. We pretty much knew when we started dating that we were very committed to each other. 

For now, we would just really love to enjoy THIS milestone before jumping to the next one simply because people think that’s what we’re “supposed” to do. Moving and buying a house is already a big project and undertaking, you can bet that I’m not going to throw wedding planning into the mix just yet!

I’m Incredibly Grateful

I’m so incredibly grateful that we’re in this home right now. This is just another example of the Law of Attraction in my life. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent dreaming and doing visitation mediations years ago about having a home in Florida. I can’t tell you how many times I scanned Pinterest staring at houses and decorations. And I can’t tell you how much time I spent thinking about the freedom and happiness it would bring me to have a HOME that I could share with someone. This is just another example of how powerful and real manifestation is.

It also goes to show that when you stop forcing something to happen that you want and finally RELAX and trust in the universe, it will happen! The only thing that you have to do is focus on what you want and it will come to you. But the HOW is the domain of the universe. Trying to force something is not going to work.

The second reason why I feel grateful is that we don’t have to pour ungodly amounts of money into renting anymore. Now we have a home that we can invest in instead of throwing money away. That only is worth celebrating!

Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

As always thank you for coming to Lost Online! I hope you enjoyed this peak into our first home! Once our home has come together a bit more, I’ll be sharing how we’re decorating our beautiful bohemian home, where the ideas came from, and where we found our favorite pieces! For now, we’ll be busy getting it all together!

A special shout out to that adorable fur baby, Luka June for deciding she wanted in on our celebration and photoshoot too! Luka is Ray’s dog and another member of a little “Beer Brigade,” as we call it. Ray, Matt, Luka and I spend weekends shooting for the blog, coming up with photo concepts and drinking craft beer! (Well, Luka doesn’t drink the beer). Together, the four of us make up the Beer Brigade!

Lastly, I just want to share that if you’re a Lost Online reader than you’re aware that I often make announcements on the blog like, “The Start of a New Chapter: Why I’m Studying to Become a Certified Health Coach” or “I’m Seeing a Therapist + How I Discovered I Had Depression & Why I’m Thankful For It.” I created this blog post because making announcements is something that I do regularly and because this is a HUGE milestone in my life. I want to enjoy this, I want to share it with my tribe, and I want to sit here and reflect on this milestone in my favorite way – through writing. 

It would make me so sad if there was someone reading who took this post thinking that I created it with the intention of bragging. I’m just over here doing what us bloggers do – writing about our experiences. I’m also sharing this with you because part of my purpose with my blog and coaching practice is to show people that the Law of Attraction is real and to inspire them to incorporate it into their own lives! It’s mind-blowing what manifestation can bring to you. I would LOVE it if my story could inspire you and help you transform your own life.

Before you head out, let me know what you think in the comments! Can you relate to my experience with house hunting? Did this blog post leave you with any thoughts or takeaways? Do you already have a house or are you still daydreaming about your future home someday? What do you want in your future home? Can you think of your own advice for first time home buyers? OR do you have a similar manifestation experience you’d like to share!

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that “+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photos by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.

Why I Quit my Full-Time Job to Eat, Sleep, Blog, Repeat

Lifestyle

Yep, that’s right. I quit my stable, full-time, job to become a blogger! You must think I’m batsh*t crazy. Maybe I am. Like I’ve said on my Home Page, I’m one of those crazy nut-jobs who believes you should do what makes you happy over what makes you fit in because our time on earth should be spent doing the things that fill us up and make our souls shine. It should be spent fulfilling our life’s purpose.

Too often people live their lives for a paycheck. They’re so scared to not have stability, or a 401k, or a healthy retirement fund. And I get all of that! Trust me, I panic about all of those things at least once a day. Because the thought of not having control and that fear-based mindset we have about old age, finances, and retirement, is scary.

And you know what’s even scarier than that? The thought of disappointing other people. That’s truly what holds people back the most in life. Because even if YOU know that you would happy quitting your corporate job to move out west, live in a tiny house, and raise some chickens (that was literally the first random example that popped into my head), you know that it would bother your family or friends. You know there would be people who question you and argue your decision even if it has absolutely nothing to do with them.

There’s all of this external pressure to be a certain way from the people in our lives and society at large. The thought of giving up the lifestyle that you’ve had your entire life could be paralyzing. But that fear-based mentality is what traps people in a lifestyle they’re actually miserable in for most of their lives. It may give them a cozy retirement, a Mercedes Benz, designer bags, and fewer rude comments from family, but in the end, it costs them their happiness.

That was the main reason for leaving my full-time job behind. I never wanted that to happen to me. But even still, I know that there are people who question this decision. And I also know that there are other people out there who need some inspiration and motivation. People who aren’t fulfilled with the life they’re leading and need to know that there’s someone else out there who knows how they feel. This is why I left my job to become a blogger…

1. You only get one life

The thing that terrifies me a million times more than finances or disappointing people is realizing at the end of my life that I wasted it. That I spent my life consumed with being the person that I thought I should be rather than being the person I’ve been dreaming of becoming since I was a little kid. There would be nothing in the world that could fill me with as much regret than choosing to NOT live my life on my terms. For that reason, even if I completely fail as a blogger and don’t amount to anything, I’ll still be happy that I did it. I will never regret this decision because I know that I had to at least TRY to give myself peace of mind. Not trying would be a decision that would haunt me, and it would always leave me wondering, “Why didn’t I at least go for it? Why did I hold myself back?”

2. This has always been my dream

Ever since I was a teenager I wanted to create content for a living. I dreamed of creating blog posts and YouTube videos so much that I didn’t even see myself doing anything else. Even though I would tell people my “plan” after college, I never truly believed what I was telling them. While I might have always shared that I was going into public relations, I honestly didn’t see myself living that life and going through with it. But I always saw myself doing this.

Call me crazy, but I believe that there’s a deeper, spiritual reason for this. I believe that if you have these life-long aspirations, they’re not meaningless. I think that we have these dreams ingrained in us because it’s what we are meant to do in this lifetime. If you spend your time fantasizing about a certain life or accomplishment for years and years, it’s your soul’s purpose to do that. These things aren’t random.

The day that I first heard someone explain this is the day that I realized it didn’t make sense for me to do ANYTHING else. It seemed absurd to continue living my life doing any other work but this. To work 40 hours a week doing something that made me unhappy while ignoring that internal voice that told me every day, “This isn’t what you want to do, Heather!” I bet you have your own dream like this. Maybe it has to do with your career, or maybe it’s something else like booking a trip. But whatever that nagging dream is for you that bugs you in the same way as those little devil and angel characters that appear on people’s shoulders in movies, you are meant to do it! Why else would you spend 1 or 2 or 5 or 10 years dreaming about that thing? It’s not random, it’s your soul’s mission.

3. To build a foundation for myself

I know some people probably think I’m insane for leaving a job to start a blog and become a health coach. I continually heard the suggestion that I should wait a year, or a least a couple of years before leaving my job to pursue my dream, that way I would save some money, get a raise, and earn a promotion. That is the option that makes the most sense financially and the option that our society considers to be smart and appropriate. But I left when I did because I knew the importance of starting early.

It makes much more sense to start working on your life-long goal SOONER rather than later. Why? Because overnight success takes TEN YEARS. Overnight success happens by working at something little by little every day, week, month, and year. These things take time. A lot of time, I should add. 

So I knew that if my end goal was to be a writer, blogger, speaker, and YouTuber within the self-help and wellness industry, it’s going to be a LONG time before I get there. It’s going to take building a solid foundation for myself first. The very early stages of following your dream are the most important and they set the stage for everything that’s to come by preparing you and teaching you vital lessons along the way. For that reason, I knew that for me it just made more sense to start while I was younger.

I also had to consider that my dream was much different than most people. My life-long dream requires years of building a personal brand, attracting a following, and developing my core message. It involved me getting sponsors, networking with other health and wellness professions that could help me in the future, and developing multiple streams of income. When your goal is to become a successful author and blogger, the path to success is not as cut and dry as “get a 40 hour a week job, stay for 10 years and then start your business.” If I was to become a successful author, I’m going to have to most likely endure years of showing up weekly and putting in the work before anything big happens. For that reason, I knew that I couldn’t put off until tomorrow what I can work on today. 

4. I’m not corporate

Another reason why I quit my job to pursue my dream is that I knew ever since I was very young that if I had a traditional, corporate job I would be miserable. It simply wasn’t me. Being in a corporate setting doesn’t seem to mesh with my personality.

For example, I’m someone who likes to have tattoos, and wears flowy bohemian pants, and wears lots of rings. Whenever I’m in my professional attire and show up to work I feel like I’m being fake. Or like I’m wearing a costume all day. I feel like a 4-year-old girl who put on her mother’s heels and is playing grown-up. I don’t think I could spend the rest of my life working a corporate job mainly because I don’t think I’d be able to handle feeling fake and not being myself for 40 hours a week. I don’t want to wait until 6 p.m. to kick off my black, work-appropriate, closed-toe shoes to finally be myself. I couldn’t stand feeling restricted and uncomfortable for that much time every day.

On top of that, I also don’t like to talk about the same things that my older co-workers always wanted to discuss at any job I’ve had. The conversation always seemed too boring and cookie-cutter for me. I’m someone that likes to talk about health and wellness, going fragrance-free, traveling the world, seeing therapists, journaling, and pursuing your dreams. I don’t want to hear about what you ate for dinner with your kids last night and what car your wife drives! I want to hear about what books you read! I want to hear about your life-long dreams and your side hustle! I want to hear about what bodyworkers you see or what trip you plan on taking next.

I always knew that I just didn’t fit in with the 9-5 life or co-workers. I was the girl who wore a giant tigers eye necklace to work, who used essential oils at her desk, who did acro-yoga on the weekends, and who blogged about self-help. I’m the odd one in the office. 

5. To feel like I make a difference 

It’s very difficult for me to work at something when I don’t feel like it matters. For example, if I had to work a 12-hour shift at Subway making sandwiches, I would probably scream. All I would be able to think about is how it doesn’t matter whether I’m there or not. I need to feel as if what I’m doing makes a difference in the world.

In school, it was easy to do things that I didn’t believe mattered because school was school, and I absolutely had to be there. I knew I had to show up and pay attention in class and I knew that I had to get random part-time jobs along the way. But when it comes to working after graduation, I feel myself spending an entire day at a traditional job thinking to myself, “Why am I doing this? How is this job even making a difference in the world? Is this really what I spent two decades of my life preparing for?”

However when I worked on campaigns that had messages I believed in, and when I worked at coffee shops and had meaningful conversations, or when I got to spend the day writing – I felt content. I felt like I had a good day because I enjoyed myself and did what I felt made an impact on the world, no matter how small or large. I was happy with how I spent my day because to me it felt productive and mattered. But working a job where customers are nasty to me or all I do is make more money for someone else, I can’t do that. I need to feel as if I’m adding value to the world and spreading messages that help people live happy, healthy, and meaningful lives. Otherwise, what’s the point?

6. To say goodbye to Groundhog Day

You know that Bill Murray movie “Groundhog Day” where his character is caught in a time loop and he’s repeatedly living the same day over and over? To me, that’s what the 40-hour corporate work week feels like. Even though my calendar says it’s a different day of the week. It all feels the same. And it’s excruciating.

I know I can’t be the only one who hates groundhog day! If there’s not variety and spontaneity in my life, I’m deeply unhappy. Because of that, my work performance suffers. It’s always happened to me for as long as I could remember. If there’s not variety, change, or progress, I feel miserable. For some reason, I get it in my head that life is only ever going to be like that. I feel as if every day will be the same for the rest of my life.

I know it’s crazy but I have an especially difficult time with it than most people and I find myself fantasizing about doing something drastic like joining the Peace Corps or moving abroad to learn Spanish. When I was working full-time I spent half my days seriously contemplating moving to Malaga, Spain for 9 months. I was about to drop everything, move to Spain, learn Spanish, and stay with a family the entire time. Before that, my previous groundhog day panic almost caused me to move to Hawaii and build a tiny house. I have a ROUGH time being tied down to a schedule. I wanted to work for myself because that way I could live life on my own terms and chose to do whatever I wanted that day and make spontaneous decisions. I could take a trip without asking for permission. I could get Christmas Eve off without a boss treating me like they’re doing me a HUUUGE favor. I could say goodbye to Groundhog Day and spend my existence however I wanted.

7. I loathe fear tactics 

I will be honest, I’ve had very bad luck in the past with previous supervisors or managers and for that reason, I’ve been told that my experience is out of the ordinary. So maybe you won’t be able to relate to this one. The majority of people that I’ve worked for (not all of them) used fear tactics as a way to motivate people. I was once told after working a job for 2 months, “I need you to prove your worth to me or else…” They were trailing off to imply that I may be fired if I couldn’t prove that my position mattered and made an impact on the company. I also have heard bosses proclaim to an entire room of employees how unhappy they were with performance and how “things are going to change around here.” Leaving everyone standing in a circle with a scared look in their eyes wondering if they’re going to be the one who gets fired. 

I don’t know about you but I’m DEEPLY against motivating people through fear and think that this part of our work culture needs to stop. We all know that people are far more motivated and productive when they are HAPPY with where they work and when they feel as if their management cares about them and respects them. People work better through being incentivized and motivated positively. Not to mention they are more loyal employees who will stay at the company longer.

However, the main reason why I loathe fear tactics is that I’ve noticed throughout every job that if a manager is using fear tactics I get so nervous and focused on what they think of me that I end up performing worse. I make errors, I mess up, I miss things that they told me to do, and I don’t meet their expectations. I get so scared that I turn into an idiot. My mental energy becomes so focused on what they think of me that I’m unable to do my job which only makes them more unhappy and makes me even more nervous. I hate working for anyone who makes me feel that way. Who fills me up with dread to the point where I’m unable to even do a good job in the first place. Whether I do become successful at this or end up getting another job in the future, I will NEVER be able to be at a company that makes it a point to scare the sh*t out of their employees every Monday morning meeting.

8. I crave freedom

If you read my previous blog post, “15 Reason to Travel While You’re Young,” then you know about how I have a serious travel bug that was passed on to me from my grandmother. I dream of traveling to as many countries and cities as I can. I want to see all of the major sites, I want to travel around our entire country someday, I want to breathe in the fresh air at all of the natural parks, and I want to swim underneath as many waterfalls as I can. That’s my dream. I crave freedom and travel and booking that next adventure. For that reason, I want to build a career for myself that allows me that freedom. One where I don’t have to stress out about asking my boss for permission to take my vacation days.

I want a career that allows me that extra time to cross things off my bucket list. Because that’s what I care about more than anything else. Living a life that is exciting, adventurous, and fulfilling. For me that means the freedom to travel, or as my grandma’s handwriting tattooed on my side reads, “A life full of travel and wonders of our planet.”

9. I don’t want to spend my life making other people rich

There’s a famous quote from Tony Gaskins Jr. that I always think of whenever I have fears about pursuing my dream and wonder if I should have just kept a traditional job instead. The quote is, “If you don’t build your own dream someone else will hire you to help build theirs.” How true is that? If I don’t have the courage and faith in myself to create a business doing what I love, someone will hire me for a measly salary to build their vision. And who says that their dream is more important than mine? And why should I have so much more faith in someone else’s dream than my own?

From where I stand, there’s pretty much those two paths in life: either you follow that epic dream you have for yourself and build your own career, or you work for someone else and make all of their life goals and aspirations happen. And there’s so much greed that no matter how much work you put in, the management, the CEO, the board of the company will always want MORE, MORE, MORE. That’s corporate America for you. To me, starting to build my brand was a way to add some real value to the world, accomplish my soul’s mission, and escape the toxic environment of corporate America (where people are treated like robots meant to make money for the 1%, not like human beings).

10. My introverted personality

This point may seem like the most insignificant and random point on my list of reasons why I left my full-time job, but in reality, I think it was the number one reason. It may not seem like it with how much I share about myself on my blog and YouTube Channel or social media, but I’m actually very introverted. And if you know me personally then I’m sure you’re very familiar with how much of an introvert I am.

As much as I love traveling the world, meeting new people, and being spontaneous, I’m also a homebody. Part of the reason is that I’m an old soul, as I talked about in my recent blog post “An Old Soul Trapped in a Young Body.” But mostly, I’m just a very introverted person. I feel better when I spend most of my time alone. I feel exhausted, drained, uncomfortable, and stressed out when I’m surrounded by groups of people for extended periods of time. I can only take it for so long.

When I was working a full-time job I was extremely overwhelmed being around people 40 hours a week, and then coming home and spending every other waking hour with my boyfriend. The only time I had alone was when I was showering! (I nearly ripped Matt’s head off one day when he flirtatiously suggested we shower together. How dare you try to take my ten minutes a day to myself!) I felt like I was never able to relax and recharge. 

That’s why I knew I had to build a career for myself where I was able to spend most of my time as an introvert. I could still meet up with other creatives, network with other wellness warriors, go to conferences and meet clients, but I wouldn’t be with people 100% of the time. Because as an introvert, I need that space to myself. Sadly, most of the corporate jobs don’t allow people to be introverted. There’s a really interesting Ted Talk by Susan Cain called “The Power of Introverts” about how our world is set up for extroverts and about how introverts offer skills and talents that could add so much value to the world if only we allowed our introverts to be themselves. I highly suggest listening to it, whether or not you’re an introvert OR an extrovert.

11. But above all, to create a life doing what I LOVE

My final point, “to create a life doing what I love.” Oh, you must think I’m so cliche and ridiculous, but hear me out. For the longest time, the American Dream was about equality of opportunity. It was the idea that any goals or aspirations could be achieved by any American regardless of gender, age, or color. We did this through the 40-hour workweek. Americans showed up and worked harder and harder knowing that with hard work and motivation they could create a comfortable, happy, and healthy life for their family and future generations. But then, something interesting happened. The American Dream changed.

It became one that was focused on material goods and keeping up with the Joneses. It happened for a variety of reasons, but that’s far from the point. As our culture changed, so did the American Dream. It became far more focused on appearances, material goods, and social status. It became less about working hard for the dream that our family could have opportunity, education, and stability and more about what car is parked in the driveway. And with this shift in ideology, any concept of creating a life doing what you loved vanished.

We became obsessed with working so that we could earn more, spend more, and keep up with appearances. Consequently, we all filled ourselves with stress and anxiety, spent the day at jobs we hated and blew our money on consumer products. Now we have millions of people across the country wondering: “What’s wrong with me? I got a high paying job, I’m earning six figures, I bought my dream car, I have a big house. Why am I unhappy?”

Hmmm… maybe it’s because we’ve built our entire lives around things that are outside of ourselves. The idea of looking inward and creating a life based on what we want and what would make us happy seems so far fetched, foreign, and unrealistic. The people who claim do it are viewed as unicorns and are thought to have gotten lucky.

But now, people all across the world are starting to wake up. To realize that this idea that was hammered into our heads is just ONE template on how to live. Just because the generations before us found financial success through a traditional 40 hour work week and a boss that they couldn’t stand, doesn’t mean that that’s the ONLY way to live. It’s just ONE way to live. It doesn’t mean that creating a life doing what you like is impossible. And the people who are viewed as unicorns are the few who woke up decades ago and decided to do what they wanted regardless of what other people thought.

I’m one of those people that the majority of society still deems as unrealistic and crazy. I know that with hard work and motivation I could find success not just in a 40-hour workweek at a corporate job, but even by creating a life doing what I love. And I would much rather work hard at creating a life that I love. One that fills me up and makes me happy with the work that I do. Not one that just pays the bills and buys me a fancy car at the sacrifice of my own dreams.

Thank you for coming to Lost Online!

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this week’s blog post about why I left my full-time job to pursue blogging and NOW health coaching! I decided to share my reasons for leaving my traditional job behind because I know the battle that goes on in your head when trying to decide whether or not to take the leap into the great unknown and pursue your life-long dreams. And I know that there are many other people out there who are currently dealing with this mental battle and weighing the pros and cons every day in their heads on the way to work. I want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not insane for wanting to break free of what you’ve been told you SHOULD do throughout your life. Only YOU know what’s best for you.

I also want to acknowledge that I know not everyone can up and leave their job behind to pursue their interests. I know that many people have mouths to feed, high mortgage payments, high medical bills, and student loans that make it impossible to leave their job. To those people, I want to say that I understand that it’s not as simple as this blog post may make it seem. What I will suggest for you is to figure out a way to incorporate your side hustle into the schedule EVERY DAY. No matter who you are, you do have time somewhere in your schedule. The important thing is to at least take action and move the needle forward each and every week so that you are always getting one step closer to making your side hustle your full-time career. Figure out ONE thing that you can do each day to help you move forward and make progress, and if you’re having a hard time, hire a business coach! It’s ok to ask for help.

Before you head out, let me know what you think in the comments! Did you ever leave your full-time job behind to pursue your dream? Are you thinking about doing it yourself? What are some of your reasons for focusing all of your energy on your own goals? What’s your biggest, craziest, wildest dream? Is there a way you can bring it into fruition while keeping your 9-5?

If you like what you read here, remember to go down to the bottom of the page, click that”+” symbol, and type in your email where it says “follow blog via email.” You’ll have all future blog posts sent right to you! Thanks for coming to Lost Online!

Photos by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.

How I Transformed My Life with the Law of Attraction: My 8 Powerful Manifestation Techniques & What I’ve Learned From It

manifestation, Self-Help, Spirituality

But First… A Message to the Skeptics

I am a huge believer in the Law of Attraction, and I’ve seen it completely transform my life over the course of the last four years. And what I’ve learned from talking to others about my experience is that people fall into one of two viewpoints when it comes to this topic… Either they are a believer just like me who have witnessed the magic of manifestation in their own lives OR they’re skeptics – They don’t believe it, they think it’s a load of crap, and they think that the people who preach about it just “got lucky.”

So what do I know about the Law of Attraction?

Four years ago I was the most unhappy I’ve ever been. I was in a town that I hated living in, I was in a toxic and co-dependent relationship, I was losing my hair from birth control, I was depressed, I was broke, I had been betrayed by several of my closest friends, and my job was terrible in every way. That rock bottom time in my life when I felt that I had nothing else to lose, that’s when I committed to using the Law of Attraction.

If you’re just hearing about The Law of Attraction for the first time, it’s among the most popular of Universal Laws, made popular by the documentary The Secret which came out in 2006. Simply put, it’s the idea that like attracts like. It’s the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring about positive or negative experiences into our lives. The Law of Attraction is based on the idea that people and their thoughts are made up of energy and because like energy attracts like energy, a person can improve their health, happiness, wealth, career, relationships and more. It uses cognitive reframing techniques and visualization to replace negative thought patterns and bring about positive improvements, material possessions, opportunities etc. into a person’s existence.

I had been familiar with the movie “The Secret” and had started to finally use the Law of Attraction out of comfort. I had NOTHING that was bringing me joy and happiness in my life, and spending my time visualizing what I wanted and convincing myself that everything that I wanted was being drawn to me like a magnet, was something that I did because it made me feel better. It took the pain away, it made me smile, and it gave me something else to think about instead of just how miserable I was.

What I actually wanted more than anything was to live in Florida. I was sick of the seasonal depression, the snow, and the bitter negative 55-degree weather. I didn’t want to be in the middle of Nowhere, Wisconsin for the rest of my life finishing college and getting a corporate job where I had to wake up at 6 a.m. and sit in front of my special lamp that gave me vitamin D in the winter. No. My dream was to live in Florida. To model. To be a blogger. To visit Costa Rica. To swim under the La Fortuna waterfall. To tour Europe. To drive my dream car – a hard top Jeep Wrangler through palm trees. To be in a loving, happy and supportive relationship with someone who actually had things in common with me. To start a YouTube Channel. To receive an unexpected and large sum of money. To spend my days doing what I loved. To have a little bohemian bungalow to come home to. To have a puppy. As well as several smaller, material possessions.

I had a very, very specific dream back then of what I wanted my life to look like. Today, four years later, this is my life:

This is not bullsh*t. This is not me getting “lucky.” I manifested my dream. My home, my partner, my travels, my large and unexpected sum of money. I manifested my dream life. The life that I prayed for and visualized a hundred times over and over again during that most difficult time in my life. I’ve received 99% of the things that I wanted back then, and the things that I haven’t received are literally just around the corner. Matt and I are hunting for our perfect home right now and we plan on bringing a little fur baby into our lives as soon as we move in. This sh*t is real.

If you still don’t believe me, that’s totally fine, but the Law of Attraction is operational whether you’re a believer or a skeptic. Our thoughts shape our reality. So today, I wanted to share with you my eight powerful manifestation techniques that I’ve used to bring about the life that I have now in hopes that it will help YOU. In hopes that it will help you manifest your dream and live each and every day in a state of happiness, abundance, and gratitude. So without further ado, these are the 8 manifestation techniques that helped me create the life that I had now:

1. Heightened Visualization

Hear me out. I know that you were expecting to see this on the list and it may not be anything new, but I want to tell you HOW I practiced this every day and how I made the most of my visualization practice. The #1 way that I manifested my life is through what I can only describe as intense or heightened visualization. (Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous).

Each and every night for at least an hour a night I would practice visualization. And I wouldn’t just practice it the way you would think – I wouldn’t just imagine something. I would close my eyes and make myself feel as if what I wanted was actually happening. I would feel each and every detail of that moment. For example, with the car that I wanted, I would visualize driving down a street that was lined with palm trees. I would visualize a ring on my hand; how beautiful the palm trees looked against the sky; how the steering wheel felt against my hand; how excited and grateful that I was to be driving it. I would visualize each and every detail as best I could. I made myself feel so happy in the moment that I didn’t even really need the car because I felt like it was already happening. I did this with everything. I visualized swimming under La Fortuna and seeing it for the first time. I visualized being in love with the most perfect person for me. Each and every detail I visualized so strongly and with such happiness that I felt as if I already had it.

2. Overwhelming Gratitude

At the very end of each visualization practice, I would have myself feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I would thank the universe – because that’s what I call the higher power. You can call the universe God, or Source, or Source Energy, or Creation, or Love – whatever word resonates with you. But I would thank the universe and feel an overwhelming rush of gratitude that was so strong that I couldn’t help but cry. I would also say “thank you,” “thank you,” “thank you,” over and over again. It wasn’t just a subtle feeling of gratitude, it was so strong and I felt in my heart and in every cell of my body. I felt gratitude like I’ve never experienced before. And I would do this after each and every visualization practice.

3. A Daily Gratitude Practice

The third thing that I started to do was introducing a daily gratitude practice. If you’ve read my post, “Stream of Consciousness Journaling: The Benefits & How to Practice It,” or “My Daily Gratitude Practice,” then you’ve already heard me talk about my gratitude practice a bit. But I can’t talk about this enough because it’s been the one part of my daily routine that has added so much happiness and peace to my life that no amount of meditation or no self-help book has been able to bring me. For that reason, I swear by it.

Each and every night before I go to bed I practice gratitude by opening up a document on my computer and writing IN DETAIL about ONE THING that I’m grateful for. I want to highlight “in detail” and “one thing” the most because SO many gratitude practices stress a specific number of things you should feel grateful for which makes it feel like a chore and makes it more about hitting a number than about the feeling of gratitude. I also say in detail because people say that a gratitude practice should just be one word like “health” or maybe a quick sentence each day like, “today I feel grateful for my health.” However, I believe that those simple and quick practices don’t raise your vibration enough and radiate enough gratitude into the universe to truly transform your life.

For that reason, I pick one thing each day that I am the most grateful for and I write about why I feel grateful about it. It could be an opportunity, a person, an event. I don’t make myself hit a set number of sentences, I write whatever amount feels natural in the moment and I write until I feel like I’ve finished describing it. (It’s usually about two paragraphs, just in case you really need an idea of how much I write each day.)

This practice has helped me reflect deeply on something that brings me true happiness and gratitude. It always shifts my mind away from the stressors in life and puts me in a super happy, and high vibe mood that helps me to visualize what I want. Over time I noticed that I started to feel less anxious, happier, and more peaceful even throughout the day, not just at night. Feeling like this each and every day really sets you up for success with your manifestation and puts you in the right frequency to attract what you want.

4. Creating a Vision Board

Again, hear me out. If you’re really interested in the Law of Attraction, you’ve heard this method a thousand times by now. But, you haven’t heard about my method. I’ve tried creating vision boards for my bedroom many times and found that they just never worked for me. I would always get too critical about whether it looked good and how artistic my board was so it would prevent me from really resonating with it. Instead, I created my vision board the way us millennials do anything else – on my phone.

I created a private board on Pinterest and found beautiful photos that I connected to. Photos that I felt truly reflected the life that I wanted and dreamed of. I created the most beautiful board and whenever I woke up in the morning, or was on a break from work, or was scrolling through my phone, I would pull up that board. It made me feel so happy and would constantly remind me of what I was hoping to attract. I loved it because I already take my phone everywhere, so that way I was able to bring my vision board with me as well.

Whenever I opened the board, I would take my time and look at each photo and imagine what it would feel like to actually have that item or accomplishment. There were photos of Costa Rica, Europe, happy couples in their home together, beautiful bungalows, Jeep Wranglers, and more. I posted pictures that reflected each area of my life like my home, my relationship, and my finances. This technique helped me get back into that manifestation mindset even when something stressful would come up.

5. Commitment

The reason why I believe that I transformed my life and created this much change is because I committed to it and I became pretty much obsessed with it for several months. I think the biggest mistake that people make is that they get really motivated and excited to use the Law of Attraction and manifest their dream life, but then they give up after just a few days. I made this manifestation process my entire life for several months. Every single moment when I wasn’t working or in class or busy, I was visualizing, practicing gratitude, and looking at my vision board. Just like anything else, if you want it to really work or turn out, you have to devote your time and energy to it. You can’t just do it for five minutes right after you saw “The Secret,” you have to make it a daily practice. The universe responds to you if you continue to show up, raise your vibration, and practice manifestation each day.

6. Sparking Joy

One thing that I did throughout this process was I surrounded myself with things that would spark joy and removed the things in my environment that were triggers. (I use the phrase  “sparking joy” to describe this because I’ve been binge-watching “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” this week. However, I didn’t know I was following her method four years ago.) I made it a point to surround myself with things in my environment that made me feel good and made me happy. I did this by adding plants and crystals all over my room and my apartment and putting up decorations or pictures that made me feel really happy and brought back wonderful memories.

I didn’t just surround myself with things I liked, I made it a point to remove things in my environment that we’re trigger items for me and made me unhappy in some way. I removed items that reminded me of a bad time in my life, or a crappy memory, or a fight with my boyfriend at the time. I also made it a point to remove things that I was keeping ONLY because someone else would be upset or offended if I got rid of it. And lastly, I removed things in my environment that made me feel guilty. For example, I used to have several books on my bookshelf that I had sitting there for YEARS, but never read them. And every single time I would glance at them on the shelf I would feel bad and feel guilty that it had been six years since I bought that book and still had never read it, or had any intention of reading it.

Throughout this process, I was amazed by how many things I had in my environment that triggered me all day long and made me feel terrible every time I would look around my room. I had gotten rid of several garbage bags filled with things that made me feel bad. After this process, I was blown away by how the energy in my room had changed. How I felt happy, lighter, and happier just because I was surrounded by items that reminded me of joyful moments or I felt were so beautiful to look at: plants, photos, and crystals.

If you’re trying to manifest your dream life, I think this is an extremely important step that no one ever talks about when discussing the Law of Attraction. Our environment impacts us so much. It’s really important to make sure it fuels positive emotions.

7. Staying Inspired

It’s super easy to feel inspired in the beginning when you first watch a video or read a book about the Law of Attraction, but it’s really important to keep that inspiration going so you continue to practice it with enthusiasm each day. In order to really commit to this process I had to keep myself inspired for many months, and I did this by constantly watching “The Secret. I found that whenever I watched “The Secret” I become so convinced that it was real, I felt inspired, and it put me in the manifestation mindset.

I wouldn’t watch it from start to finish, but I would play parts of the movie so I could hear the speakers as I was getting ready for the day or driving. I also would find quotes through Pinterest that inspired me and kept me thinking about what I wanted and believing that it was coming to me. Staying inspired is probably the hardest thing to do. It’s important to keep an eye out for what speaks to you and surround yourself with whatever keeps you in that mindset. Whether that be a podcast or a book or a movie, because you don’t want to lose that inspiration right as you’re starting to really manifest what you want and make progress.

8. Keeping Secrets

The eighth and final thing that I did to practice the Law of Attraction and manifest my dream life was I didn’t tell anyone. I kept my manifestation practice a secret and didn’t share it until well after I received what I set out to. The reason why I did this is because I have many skeptics in my life, and you may have them as well. Telling other people around you what you’re trying to attract could set you back in this whole process and prevent you from actually reaping the benefits of the Law of Attraction and seeing the changes in your life. If you make the mistake of telling other people, it not only puts pressure on what you’re trying to manifest because you feel as if you have to prove the Law of Attraction to people, but it also throws their feelings, thoughts, and ideas into the mix. Let’s say you tell a friend or family member what you’re trying to attract, they could be putting thoughts out into the universe that are sabotaging your efforts. If they believe that the Law of Attraction is a load of crap and projecting that into the universe, it could backfire for you. You want to make sure that nothing but love, gratitude, and faith is being projected out into the world when trying to manifest your dream life.

The Lessons I’ve Learned

Using these 8 techniques I was able to receive everything that my 18 and 19-year-old self wanted more than anything in the world. I wanted to share the techniques with those of you who also have an unwavering faith that the Law of Attraction is real, but I also wanted to share what I’ve learned over these last 4 years that ISN’T in any of those books, videos, and movies about manifestation. So these are the lessons about the Law of Attraction that I learned from this experience, in hopes that it will help you to better understand what you can expect moving forward in this process:

It works both ways

For as wonderful as the positive thoughts and ideas work for manifestation, so do the negative ones. I noticed that not only does projecting negativity bring about negative things in your life, but it can also postpone the positive things. Whenever I’m in a place in my life where I’m feeling very low and down about myself and I’m focused on what it’s not going well and what I DON’T have, I don’t receive the positive things.

The movie, “The Secret,” does a great job of hitting on this point – that the Law of Attraction can also bring about more debt, more fighting, and more discontent if you’re not careful. For me, it didn’t UNDO receiving my dream life, but it did push things back whenever I started to become pessimistic or overly stressed out. I never received when I was in that place.

You don’t have to monitor your thoughts

For some people, if you still do not have an unwavering faith that your dream is coming toward you, projecting negativity could be stopping your dream altogether. Upon hearing the last lesson, it might feel like you have to monitor your thoughts because that’s how I felt for a while. However, it’s not so much monitoring your negative thoughts as it is making a point of doing what makes you happy and makes you feel good in life.

It’s about making the visualization your dream life SO MUCH FUN that it becomes enjoyable and you don’t want to stop. It’s also about surrounding yourself with things that make you so happy and engaging in activities that you enjoy more than anything so you’re in the positive mindset without requiring monitoring. I don’t just mean going to a bar, I mean doing the things in life that really bring about deeper satisfaction. I started nannying again just because it brought me so much joy to take care of babies. I started doing the things that were on my bucket list just because it brought me inner peace and happiness as opposed to always telling myself “someday” I’ll do that. I started paying for experiences over possessions because it made me feel much happier long term than simply making an impulse purchase. It’s not so much about monitoring your thoughts as it is about making sure you’re in a positive and satisfying place in your life whenever you can and really enjoying the manifestation process along the way, as opposed to feeling like it’s a chore.

Your inner dialog can backfire

I’m not just talking about how you feel about life in general here: whether you’re happy or unhappy, negative or positive. One of the most difficult lessons that I’ve learned throughout this process is that the negative inner dialog and the way that I feel about MYSELF does impact manifestation. Throughout most of this process, there have been things that I wanted more along the lines of accomplishments but I didn’t get because I didn’t feel worthy. If you’re trying to manifest a Range Rover for example, if you feel like you don’t deserve it and have constantly self-sabotaging and self-harming thoughts, you won’t receive it. You have to get to a point where you stop that criticizing voice and find ways to truly love yourself, or else your inner dialog is going to be sabotaging this entire process and (TRUST ME) it will win.

I could write an entire post just about that inner dialog and how to deal with it. But for now, I’ll have to keep it simple: positive thoughts, compassion, and love towards yourself is equally as important as the vision boards and visualization. So do whatever you have to and find peace with yourself. Know that you’re worthy of having your dream to begin with, or else your subconscious mind will make damn sure you don’t get that Range Rover.

Nothing happened in the way I would expect

I honestly thought when I first started this process that the only possible way I could get everything I wanted in life was through winning the lottery. I thought it would take millions of dollars to be able to make everything happen. But it didn’t! Nothing – I mean nothing – happened in a way that I would have expected. So don’t for a second waste your time thinking about HOW it could possibly happen. That’s not your job. That’s the job of the universe.

When I first started trying to manifest back in 2015, I felt that thinking about the HOW would help out the universe in some way by presenting a logical and practical way for me to receive what I wanted. But there was nothing logical or practical to me about it. For example, I used to always visualize my dream relationship and a trip to Costa Rica (separately). I somehow met Matt out at a bar I NEVER go to, with a group of people I NEVER hung out at before,  just people his friend Pat said something funny. A year later his parents gifted us a trip to Costa Rica they had actually been meaning to go on themselves. Well, that’s not how I say my dream happening. I literally thought I had to win the lottery for me to be able to go to Costa Rica back then. The point is, don’t waste a single second thinking about the HOW. All that will do is convince yourself that there’s no way your dream will come true, just because you can’t figure out how on earth it could possibly happen.

You will receive as you’re ready

You cannot and should not put a date on when you expect to receive something. My move to Florida started to be put in motion THREE MONTHS after I was visualizing about it for an hour or two each night. My dream car I got two years after I began visualizing it. My tour of Europe I got after graduation. Some things happened right away. Some things took longer. But after I looked back at everything I wanted and everything that I’ve received up to this point, I realized that the universe gave me things as I was ready for them. Yeah, it would have been nice to get everything instantly in one day, but it didn’t work that way. For example, I tried extremely hard to find a perfect partner. I went on dates every week and as a result, all that ended up happening was I dated a string of guys for two months each who all just wanted to “have fun.” *insert eye roll here*

It wasn’t until I gave my “sweeping declaration” one night about how I was DONE dating, I loved myself, I was happy alone and I didn’t need another person to complete me when the universe decided I was ready and I was introduced to Matt just a few hours later. It’s no coincidence that I met my partner of two years right after I decided I loved myself and I wanted to give up dating and trying to force a relationship. Things take time, and sometimes the only reason why you’re not receiving something is that you’re not ready for it. For this reason, I believe that there’s also a spiritual connection with the Law of Attraction that none of us understand.

I didn’t have to work for the material things

When looking back at my trips and my possessions I realized that I actually didn’t have to work for them, they were gifted to me. The first thing that I hear from people who don’t believe in the Law of Attraction is that it’s not real because they believe that I wanted something so I worked for it… and then bought it. It’s not manifestation apparently, it’s hard work and money. But the thing is, it wasn’t hard work. The move, the Jeep, the trips, etc. were gifted. I didn’t work for them at all. And yes, that may sound very entitled or self-absorbed to someone who hasn’t met me and is reading this, but my point again that the HOW is up to the universe.

Don’t go into this process thinking, “Oh sh*t, I have to come with $50,000 for that Jeep. I better clock more hours at work.” No. Things will be presented to you in ways that you never expect, the reason why you don’t have them isn’t that you don’t work enough. So take a deep breath, and just get back to your vision board.

You don’t have to PROVE anything to people

It can be frustrating when you’ve transformed your life with the Law of Attraction but then your close friends and family don’t believe you. Trust me, I understand. I spent countless hours for three months visualizing this move to Florida and somehow my dad was offered a job in Florida just months after that. And every single person I’ve talked to about it gives me that forced, fake smile (you know that one were you can tell people think you’re crazy) and says “Ohhhh… that’s nice.” OR, becomes a very vocal skeptic and openly tells me that I’m wrong and everything I’ve received is one giant coincidence.

For a while, I believed that I had to tell the world what happened and that I had to prove that what happened to me was real. However, after having so many of the same encounters with people I finally realized this: you don’t have to PROVE the Law of Attraction to anyone. Why? Well for starters there’s no reward to proving it to someone, but most importantly it’s going to be impossible.

Trying to convince someone that the Law of Attraction is real will be as effective as trying to convert them to your religion. Everyone has their own set of beliefs about life, spirituality, and the mysterious workings of the universe based on their background, upbringing, and experiences. Going into a conversation with someone and trying to convince them that the Law of Attraction is real would be pointless as trying to get me to pray to Jesus, read the Bible, and go to church on Sundays. Or like trying to convince a skeptic to believe in ghosts. Go ahead, as an experiment seek out a skeptic, tell them some of your ghost stories, and see if you can convince them ghosts are real. Or better yet, try to convince a Republican to be a Democrat and vice versa. Do you see what I mean? So don’t feel like you have to PROVE what happened to you. Talk about it with the people who believe in the Law of Attraction, and if they don’t, that’s ok. You don’t have to defend yourself and prove anything. People will think you’re crazy, and that’s fine. Everyone close to me thought (and still thinks) I’m crazy for saying that I’ve changed my life with the Law of Attraction. If history has taught us one thing, it’s that we cannot change other people and their beliefs. Talk about the Law of Attraction with people who understand and support you, and if they don’t, let it be.

Thanks so much for reading!

I really hope you guys enjoyed this post about the Law of Attraction, how I manifested what I wanted, and what I’ve learned from this experience. As always, let me know what you think in the comments! What this post helpful for you? What parts? Have you used the Law of Attraction in your life? What have you been able to manifest and how did you do it? Did you learn anything interesting from your experience with the Law of Attraction?

If you like what you read here, be sure to scroll all the way down, click that “+” and subscribe below to have my weekly blog posts sent right to you!

Photos by Ray Reyes, IG: @rocketsciencephoto.

My Positive Approach to Hurtful Online Comments & Why They Don’t Faze Me

Digital Dilemma, Self-Help

I’m happy to announce that my website has it’s very first internet troll! Yep, you read that right.

As of February 19, 2019, my blog, Lost Online, received its first random and unwarranted negative comment, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I promise I’m not crazy, and I don’t enjoy fighting with strangers on the internet! It’s just that I have a much different perspective when it comes to online trolls than most people.

For starters, you know what a troll is, right? They’re shadow people who lurk around the internet and wait for an opportunity to whip up a mean comment that has the potential to ruin someone’s day and destroy a person’s confidence in just a few flicks of their fingers and the click of a button.

You see, we live in a time where technology has made it so incredibly easy for us to have, do, or say whatever we please, without any repercussions. People would NEVER say the things in person that they say to each other online. Because if you did walk around treating people like that, you’d be hit with a restraining order and charged with harassment. But something about typing up mean comments on the internet, seems like it’s not real to people. And it seems like it doesn’t really count. Like somehow it’s not really them. The internet also makes trolls so much braver and callous because it allows anyone to make up a random username and hide behind it. Before the internet, if you wanted to ruin someone’s day, you couldn’t do it from behind your keyboard and in the comfort of your own home. You actually had to have the balls to walk up to someone and say whatever you were thinking to their face and then deal with the real life consequences that follow.

But today, mean comments have become a bit of an epidemic, and it’s one of the biggest challenges that the internet has brought to us. It’s caused teenagers to take their own lives, it’s ruined careers, and it’s broken up families. Nasty comments seem so harmless to the person who’s leaving them. And I’m pretty confident that maybe internet trolls even view it as a game. Unfortunately, it can come with consequences.

In my case, someone found my blog, read a post, saw an opportunity to comment something nasty, and typed it up for me to have a nice little surprise at 6:30 am before I walked out the door for work. But I would be willing to bet my life, that the person who left it would NEVER walk up to me in person and say to my face what was so easy for them to say online.

Now, this view may seem strange given how wrong I think cyberbullying is, but I was actually happy to see this comment appear. Here’s why…

1. It was bound to happen

December 2018 is when I got serious about blogging. I was no longer treating my blog like a hobby, I was treating it like a side hustle or a new business. I had an amazingly talented photographer to help me, I was now whipping up content every week and promoting my blog on every one of my social media platforms. When I made that decision to pursue blogging seriously, I knew that negative online comments were bound to come my way.

That’s the time we live in now. It’s unavoidable. By putting yourself out into the world, sharing your stories and voicing your opinions, you’re going to attract at least a little bit of criticism, judgement and jealousy. I knew it wasn’t a matter of “if” I would someday get negative comments, it was just a matter of time. I didn’t feed those thoughts and give them my energy to manifest, I just simply knew that as a content creator, it was going to happen. It’s an occupational hazard.

With that thought in mind, I made the decision that someday when I did get a negative comment on my blog, I would make it as positive of an experience as I could. I was going to be happy about it! Why? Well, why should I waste my time being upset over a person I’ve never met? If that many people are finding my blog to the point where I start receiving all types of comments, both positive and negative, both supportive and mean, that means I must be doing something right! People are finding me and they’re taking the time to read what I have to say.

If I’m creating enough content to attract mean strangers, then I should be proud of myself! I have over 30 blog posts by now, 600 plus Instagram posts, and 8,000 viewers on Pinterest. I put a lot of hard work into what I do and I’m constantly pumping out graphics, posts, or pictures somewhere. So statistically speaking, I’m bound to get some haters based on the amount of work I’m doing online. If I didn’t attract some sort of feedback at some point, I’d be worried.

2. In order to be a successful content creator, you have to “attract or repel”

I like to follow well-known blogger, podcaster and influencer Jenna Kutcher. She’s an incredible person who has built a following of over 2 million by educating people about how to grow their brand, become a successful content creator and make money doing what you love. One thing that Kutcher always shares is that as a creator, your brand has to “attract or repel” the people that click on your website or social media. If you talk to anyone who is a successful business person, they’ll say the same thing just in different words.

So why is this? Why would I want to repel people, Heather?! I want people to like me!

Because in order to become successful, you need a niche. That means that your message appeals to a small, specific, specialized sub-group of the greater population that shares the same interests as you do. This may seem strange, but in order to make meaningful connections with people, you must zero in on a specific market that you’re going to speak to. By speaking very broadly to a large population of billions of people, you inherently connect to no one. However, by blogging to a very specific group of people with a unique set of interests, you actually end up reaching more people.

So that’s the long-winded way of me sharing that my message is both attracting like-minded people AND repelling the ones that don’t align with my message. So, I must be doing something right!

One of my favorite quotes that I’ve shared in a previous blog post, “How I Freed Myself From the Opinions of Others,” is: “You could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches.” And you’ll probably hear me share that again at some point.

3. Every successful person gets hate comments

The third reason why I was happy to see this negative comment appear one morning is because every single successful podcaster, blogger, YouTuber, and influencer gets negative comments. Regularly. It’s part of their daily life. They have so many freaking eyes on what they do that obviously mean, envious, and unhappy people are going to see their work at some point. It’s not like the nice people and the mean people live in two separate worlds that are invisible to each other!

Back in January, I actually told myself, “I’ll know that I’ve made it once I get a hate comment.” I think I even voiced it to Matt, too. Not because I want to read terrible comments about myself, but because I knew it was bound to happen the moment my story started to appear on screens all over the world. Receiving a nasty comment here and there shows that I’m making progress, I’m being seen. With how many posts I have and how many readers are starting to show up, at some point one of my posts with strike a nerve with some people, even though that’s not my intention.

4. If you’re not pissing people off, you’re doing something wrong

Seriously, if you’re not upsetting at least someone out there you’re doing something wrong. Anything worth living for is going to make people mad. Quitting your 9-5 to pursue a dream is going to piss your parents off. Marching with a sign during a protest to create a change in your community is going to make smoke come out of someone’s ears. Standing up and saying, “I’m a woman and I deserve to have the rights to my body.” Yeah, that will make more than a few people angry. Losing 40 pounds and getting a six pack is going to make your haters hate you even more. Becoming a famous celebrity who earns $30 million a year, yeah someone will hate you for that too. Or even just opening yourself up online and being super vulnerable in a blog post in hopes of helping people struggling with similar issues, that will make someone angry too.

If you lived your life to make other people happy, you would literally never accomplish anything. You’d never make any progress, you would never grow, and the only words you could speak would be please and thank you.

In one of my posts, “Thoughts after one year of being a blogger,” I shared something about myself that I was not proud to admit. I shared that there was a beautiful, positive wellness blogger that I knew who I was extremely envious of. She was very similar to me and decided to pursue her dream of being a blogger. So she built her website, inspired people, posted beautiful photos, and shared her story. And it made me mad! Because I dreamt of being a blogger for FIVE YEARS but I was too petrified of what someone would think to actually do it. And there she was, just living her best life and going for it. (And no, I don’t feel that way anymore in case you were wondering).

Anyone who really goes for what makes them happy or really tries to create positivity in the world is bound to take harsh comments and envious stares from others. Because while most people are good, everyone has those not-so-wonderful sides of themselves. The sides that we don’t want people to know about, the sides that you’d never even know existed.

So when someone posted a hateful comment on my blog about my love story, it didn’t faze me. Me falling in love with my boyfriend upset someone! And I’m not going to live the rest of my life refusing to be in a relationship because there will be some sad, lonely person out there who gets angry at the fact that I’m in a happy relationship.

5. They picked me!

One of the reasons why I was happy to see this little, mean comment is because an online troll decided, for whatever reason, to waste their precious energy and mental capacity on my website! They could have spent that time on anything else, insulting any other person, on any other blog. But they chose me! How nice of them.

It really is flattering in a way. Think about that next time someone direct messages you or leaves a mean comment. There’s something that’s so special about you, they had to focus on you to direct their insecurity. You’re doing so well in life that people see their own insecurities mirrored in you.

Again, this was not at all my intention! But why not be flattered that they took the time to comment on my post rather than let it bring me down?

6. It inspired the blog post that you’re reading right now!

The fifth and final reason this comment was a blessing is because it inspired this post! It inspired me to spend my day writing – the one thing that I love most! It inspired 2,500 words to flow effortlessly from my fingertips. It actually broke a bit of writers block I was having the last two weeks! Thank you, mysterious online stranger for providing me with inspiration and fresh content! I, and the readers of Lost Online, appreciate you.

Lastly, I just want to leave you with a few takeaways.

Take a good look at your actions and your habits and see if they align with what you really want from life. The person who left me the comment I’m writing about today has a very positive blog all about the Law of Attraction. If you know anything about the Law of Attraction, that’s not how it works! That angry, negative message is the exact opposite of what you will learn from any book, blog, or documentary about manifestation.

-Second, the best way to get anywhere is life is by making connections, talking to other people who share the same passions as you and by being supportive. Not by tearing other people down. That’s adulting and good-human-ing 101.

-Third, and a tip for bloggers out there – you have the ability to set up your blog in the back end so that all comments have to be approved by you! I automatically hit “delete” to any negative comments or spam that people leave me. On my homepage, I said that I started this blog to be a safe haven in cyberspace for myself and like-minded people, so I will always make it a point to clear out all of that negativity, so you don’t have to see it! And I recommend you do that too. This world needs more love, support, positivity and less judgement and cruelty. Isn’t life hard enough as it is without getting insults in your inbox?

And finally, this is not an open invitation to roast me. I do have a positive outlook on hateful comments because I know that those words come from a place of deep insecurity and unhappiness. However, that doesn’t mean I like hearing mean things about me. No one does. So, when you leave this post or this site today, remember to be kind.

I will not be sharing a whole blog post every time I get a negative comment, but I wanted to share this message about cyberbullying in hopes that it will a) remind people to be nice b) show people how pathetic it is to leave mean comments online because you would never do it in person c) give you a positive outlook if you receive or have been affected by trolls d) be an example for people who are terrified about what others think and take outside opinions to heart.

“If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do.” – Tara Mackey

As always, thank you so much for coming to Lost Online and remember to tell me your thoughts in the comments! Have you ever dealt with negative comments or cyber bullying before? What was said? How did it affect you? What was your perspective on it? How do you think we should deal with this issue going forward? How should we monitor it? And should there by repercussions?

If you like what you read, remember to scroll down to the bottom of the page, hit that “+”, and fill in your email address to be sent weekly blog posts directly!

Photo by Ray Reyes @rocketsciencephoto.